


Fine as You Are

by Keekielekey



Category: Arashi (Band), Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Porn, Angst and Romance, Childhood Trauma, Crushes, Explicit Sexual Content, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Just Everything and Angst, M/M, Panic Attacks, Past Character Death, Slow Build, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-10
Updated: 2017-10-17
Packaged: 2018-07-22 18:26:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 63,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7449580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keekielekey/pseuds/Keekielekey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Years have passed since that day, but for Nino the memory will never fade. Tormented by his past he has resigned himself to a lonely future, distancing himself from those around him. That is until a strange man falls into his life, turning his world upside down and causing him to question everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been working on this one for a while now so I felt it was time to post it. Chapter updates will be fairly regular. This fic is inspired by Nino's drama Ryusei no Kizuna, but with a bucket load more angst and more gayness. Constructive feedback is welcome!
> 
> Thank you to my amazing new beta reader indigo-lover@livejournal ♥

When something bad happens, it’s not always possible to keep moving forward.  
  
  
Everything was wrong, it felt almost as if his world had just shattered around him. That was the only explanation that could be right as all he could see were their bodies painted red with metallic smell overwhelming him, everything else was blurring into darkness. The world was broken, right? There was no way this could be happening, so it must be broken. He reached down to where the deep red was flowing from his mother's chest, his head filled with the sound of his beating heart, but when his fingers touched the blood, it felt as though a wave had crashed over him.  
  
  
“Mum?” He gasped, the words cracking as they left his mouth. He pressed his face against her chest to hear her breathing, but there was no movement, not a single breath, only the cool wet touch of the blood against his skin.  
  
  
“Mum! Mum! Wake up!” He started to shake her frantically, he looked over at his father who was lying perfectly still. A deep crimson staining his white button down shirt, and Nino could see a knife carelessly stuck within his dad’s stomach. Broken. Yes, that was the only explanation. The world was broken.  
  
  
He stilled, pressed his face to his mother's chest again and held her tightly. Hot prickling tears had started burning in his eyes. “Please…” He whispered, hoping that this was a trick of some kind. It was just an ordinary day, he had been to school, and then to cram school. He had laughed with his friends and struggled to get his head around fractions. His mum should have been in the kitchen cooking dinner, like she always was at this time. His dad would be stretching out on the couch after a long day at work.  
  
  
But instead they lay frighteningly still, and cold strewn across the front room carelessly. He was not sure how long he laid there, waiting for the world to end. But as soon as he heard the front door open, reality flooded him like a tidal wave.  
  
  
“I’m home Mum!” Jun called happily, and Nino could hear his footsteps drawing nearer.  
  
  
Before he could even think, he dashed out of the room. He had to stop his brother before he saw them, the world was indeed broken now, but he had to protect his Jun.  
  


  
He ran into the hall and stopped still before him. At the sight of blood drying on Nino's face, Jun's eyes filled with terror. “Kazu..” Jun squeaked before the younger boy fainted.  
  
  
  
“J!” Nino rushed over to his younger brother, but his eyes were becoming blur as he felt darkness closing in on him, “Please J..”  
  
  
-  
  
  
Nino jolted awake, he gasped for breath as he looked around his dark apartment, which was unsurprisingly still around him. He reached for the glass of water beside his futon and gulped it down hurriedly, stinging his dry throat. He glanced blearily at the digital clock across his room which let him know, in obnoxiously bright green numbers that it was 3:14 am. He sighed as he sat up and wiped the cold sweat from his neck, no point in trying to sleep again anytime soon.  
  
  
He got up, went to the bathroom, turning the shower on as hot as he could bear it and sat down directly under the stream. He cradled his head in both his hands as the water hit his back, relentlessly burning into him. Seventeen years. It must be a joke that seventeen years later his mind could still replay the events of that afternoon as clear as day.  
  
  
Well, this was his life, a big sick joke.  
  
  
-  
  
  
“Jun-kun called earlier,” Aiba said as they were setting up the restaurant for that evening's service.  
  
  
Nino grunted noncommittally in response, but when this didn’t seem to satisfy Aiba, he simply asked, “And?”  
  


  
“Well he said you haven’t been answering his calls,” Aiba said honestly. Nino did feel a little bad for the guy, who was so often caught between the two of them these days.   
  


  
“I’ve just been busy,” Nino said shortly as he started absent-minded wiping over one part of the bar. When no reply came from Aiba, who was clearly waiting for more of an explanation, he added in a huff, “You know very well that I have been busy playing that new game I got the other day,” Nino explained, knowing it was a pretty lousy excuse. “I told him that I would be dead to the world for at least a week until I aced it.”  
  
  
Aiba ignored his excuse but looked at him kindly before saying, “I heard you screaming again last night.” 

  
  


Nino felt a tang of uneasiness at this, but it  was a fairly common occurrence considering that Aiba lived just next door in the second apartment above the restaurant. When Aiba had got the place a few years back, he had almost immediately offered Nino a job and the smaller of the two included apartments. It had been easy to slip into this lazy lifestyle but Nino was eternally grateful for everything Aiba had done for him. “Is everything okay?” Aiba asked, snapping Nino out of his reverie.  
  
  
“Nah I don’t think so, that must have been my game you heard. I had it up pretty loud,” Nino said airily.  
  
  
“Oh right,” Aiba started with a nod, “Mario has really changed since I last played it,” Aiba said sarcastically, but his voice was still playful.  
  
  
“More than you can even imagine,” Nino said in an overly dramatic tone. The two went back to preparing to open the restaurant. Nino stilled for a moment staring down at his hands, “Aiba-chan?”  
  
  
“Hmm?” Aiba looked up at him from where he was busily chopping some carrots, among other vegetables.  
  
  
“Please don’t tell Jun that you heard…” Nino trailed off, not wanting to admit to it out loud.  
  
  
  
“Of course I won’t, I never do. You know that,” Aiba said curtly.  
  


 

“I know, I just don’t want to worry him,” Nino said, still staring intently down at his hands.  
  
  
“Well call him!” Aiba started frustratedly, “Otherwise he will worry, you idiot.” Aiba returned his focus on chopping more carrots, even if it was somewhat rougher than before.  
  
  
Nino sighed and walked over to the door to flip the sign to open, “Yeah I know.”  
  
  
-  
  
  
The evening flew by in a steady stream of customers, it was busy enough that they were never bored, but quiet enough that they didn’t get behind in cooking. Nino loved these kinds of easy going nights where he could switch into work mode and not have any time for his mind to wander.  
  
  
Later in the evening as they were slowing down, a tall man with oddly sloping shoulders stumbled into the store and sat heavily at the bar. Nino watched him for a moment, suspecting alcohol was behind his unsteadiness. It wouldn’t be the first time they had drunk customers, but Nino was certainly not in the mood to deal with it tonight. But just as the thought entered Nino’s head, the man let out a large yawn, which he tried poorly to stifle behind his hand. Perhaps he was just tired, Nino corrected himself.  
  
  
He quickly prepared a glass of water and taking a menu, walked over to the man. “Long day?” Nino asked as he placed the items in front of the man.  
  
  
“You can say that again,” The man mumbled as he looked down at his menu. “I had to work all night yesterday to meet a deadline, and then I had meetings all day today, so I am beat.” The man looked up from his menu to Nino, who was just staring blankly back at him. “Ahh sorry, I said too much,” The man added, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck awkwardly.  
  
  
“Ah! No…” Nino started, feeling stupid for zoning out, “I was the one who asked anyway, sorry I didn’t sleep too well last night either. So I am a bit fuzzy myself.” Nino gave a half hearted laugh and added, “Can I get you something?” gesturing at the menu in front of the man.  
  


  
“Ahh yeah sure, the chicken curry please.” The man said, and Nino shuffled off to prepare his order. When he returned with the meal, the man looked up at Nino, smiled and asked, “What kept you up last night?”   
  
  
“Video game,” Nino said quickly and flatly, not overly interested in continuing the conservation.  
  
  
“Hm,” the guy huffed thoughtfully, “That seems much more fun than my reason.”  
  
  
“Life is truly cruel,” Nino said with a smile and then turned away to serve another customer.  
  
  
-  
  
  
No more than ten minutes later, Nino noticed that the man from before had his head propped up precariously on one arm and was sleeping soundly above a half eaten plate of curry while his other hand still held the spoon. Nino smiled, feeling oddly warmed by the amusing sight.  
  
  
Nino considered the man for a moment, his sleeping features gave him the innocent appearance a child. While he knew he should probably wake the man Nino felt more inclined let him rest, he was clearly exhausted. Nino paused for a moment before he moved the plate from underneath the man and grabbed a fresh tea towel from the cupboard, rolled it up and placed it on the counter in front of the man. He hesitated for a moment before placing a hand on the man's head and slowly pulling the man's hand away. Nino gently lowered the man’s head so that he was now resting safely on the makeshift pillow. The man continued to sleep peacefully, so Nino just smiled and continued his work as normal.  
  
  
It was getting close to closing time when Aiba called out to Nino and when the latter turned to face him with a raised eyebrow, Aiba looked over him. Nino then followed Aiba's gaze to the man sleeping soundly on the counter. “I need to go do some paperwork upstairs, are you going to be alright with…” Aiba trailed off, gesturing to the man vaguely, “That?” he finished bluntly.  
  
  
Nino considered for a moment before responding, “It should be fine, plus I feel kind of sorry for him.” Nino smiled and looked up at Aiba, who seemed even more confused by Nino’s reaction. “He said he had been up all night last night working, and he didn’t even finish his dinner before nodding off right at the bar,” Nino said, hoping that Aiba would at least find it somewhat amusing.  
  
  
Aiba let out a slightly frustrated huff, but Nino did note that he was still smiling. “Fine, just close up and kick him out when you are done.” And with that Aiba took the money from the register along with the day’s receipts and wandered upstairs.  
  
  
Nino had worked here long enough that closing the shop was a breeze. All he had to do was to stack the chairs on the tables, restock the fridge and wipe the surfaces. As he was just finishing up an annoying buzz started up from his phone on the bar. He walked over and picked it up with a sigh. “J, I’m still at work,” He said bluntly, not bothering to greet the other.  
  
  
“Shouldn’t you be finished by now?” His brother replied.

  
  
“Well I am almost done,” Nino switched to hold his phone on his right hand and continued to clean up, knowing that this wouldn’t be a short conversation.  
  
  
“Good, then we can talk,” Jun said happily. “I know Aiba won’t mind.”  
  
  
“Yeah that’s because you have been bugging him, you know he hates being the messenger between us,” Nino said grumpily.  
  
  
“Well if you would answer your phone, I wouldn’t have to call him.”  
  
  
“I told you last week that I got a new game. Plus if it really was that important, you could have just came over,” Nino said, he knew it was mean of him to bait his brother like that, the brother that was constantly worried about him. Sometimes it was just easier for Nino’s ego to guilt those around him.  
  
  
Nino heard Jun take a steadying breath on the other end of the line. “I’m sorry Kazu-chan but I have been swamped at work but I have been trying to call you, you know.”  
  
  
Nino looked over at the strange man, still sleeping soundly on the bar and took a moment before continuing the conversation. “Sorry J, I just haven’t felt like talking to anyone lately.

 

“Are you doing okay?” Jun said gently, kindness now present in his voice. “Are you still having trouble sleeping?”  
  
  
It was frustrating on how his brother seem to be able to read him so easily, though the younger man was not aware of the full extent of his nightmares. “Yeah, but that’s normal for me,” Nino said weakly. “I’m just tired, but I am not trying to avoid you in particular or anything, ask Oh-chan, I haven’t talked to him either.”  
  
  
“Yeah he told me you weren't answering his calls too,” Jun said and Nino could almost hear him roll his eyes.  
  
  
“Yeah and the only time I talk to Aiba is when we are working, so don’t feel bad, I ignore everyone equally.” Nino cringed as the words left his mouth, a rush of self loathing swapming his mind at his terrible excuse.  
  
  
“Kazu-chan I think we should go to the Doctor’s next week,” Jun said softly. Historically, Jun had always been the one who made Nino seek medical attention, urgent or otherwise. Nino didn’t really see much point in going for his own sake, since doctors always lead to therapists who tended to make him feel a whole lot worse. Being told you have extensive childhood trauma over and over doesn’t really do much to fix it.  
  
  
“No. I’m fine,” Nino said sharply. “Look I should really go, we still have a customer in the restaurant.”  
  
  
“What? Really? At this time? Why don’t you kick them out?” Jun replied, surprised.  
  
  
“Well he is asleep and I feel bad for him,” Nino replied quickly.  
  
  
“No way, are you making this up? You just want to shut me up right?” Jun challenged.  
  
  
“Nah, it is for real, hold on, I will take a photo and send it to you,” Nino moved closer to the man and snapped a picture of the guy sleeping soundly on the counter, he then attached it to a message and sent it to Jun. “There. See?”  
  
  
  
“Hold on, it’s not loaded yet, I’ll put you on speaker.” Nino heard rustling as Jun fiddled with his speaker settings, then a few moments later, a burst of laughter erupted for the other line. “Oh my gosh, he really is asleep, I’ve gotta show this to Satoshi.”  
  
  
While he could hear Jun getting up to find Ohno, Nino pulled up his front camera to take a selfie, fingers raised in an obnoxious peace sign as he took himself and the sleeping man. “Hold on, I am sending you another pic.” Nino chuckled to himself and sent the selfie to his brother.  
  
  
“Satoshi look at this, some guy fell asleep in Nino’s restaurant.” He could hear his brother chuckling as the phone got muffled again.  
  
  
“Hi Oh-chan,” Nino called.  
  
  
“Ah Nino, hello,” Ohno mumbled, and then Nino heard a brief exchange between the two men, along the lines of “You didn’t tell me Nino was on the phone.”  
  
  
“Well he is so quick look at this,” came Jun’s reply, more shuffling noises as Jun must have been showing the photo to his partner. “Hey he is pretty hot Kazu-chan,” Shifting the conversation back to Nino.  
  
  
“That’s a pretty weird thing to say about a random sleeping guy, J,” Nino said, “Plus I really should wake him up now.”  
  
  
“Get his phone number!” Was Jun’s excited reply, he sounded like a giddy school kid.  
  
  
“No. I’m hanging up now,” Nino said firmly.  
  
  
“At least ask his name!” Jun replied in a sing song voice.  
  


 

“Bye,” Nino said flatly and hung up.  
  
  
He really hated just how well his brother could read him, because no, it had not escaped his notice that the sleeping man was stunningly attractive but he had been doing his best to ignore the fact. Now he had to figure out how wake the man up and get him out of the restaurant. He hesitated a moment before reaching out so shake the man's shoulder softly.  


  
“Sir,” He said and the man shifted slightly. “Sir, we are closing now,” He shook a little firmer in an effort to rouse him.  
  
  
Slowly he shifted under Nino’s grip and blearily looked up at him, eyes red and puffy. “Did I…” he started croakily and looked around him, “Did I fall asleep?” He asked, as if what his eyes were telling him were false. He looked down at the rolled up towel he had been lying on and poked it. “What…” He murmured.  
  
  
Nino snatched the towel from in front of him, feeling slightly embarrassed at his actions. “Well you were about to land face first in curry, so I thought I would save you the embarrassment, plus this would have been more comfortable anyways,” Nino mumbled looking away from the man.  
  
  
“Why didn’t you wake me earlier? You even closed up around me?” The man was clearly confused by the turn of events.  
  
  
Nino felt like shrinking under the bar and hiding since he was only now realising how weird it was to leave him there. He walked away to get the man a glass of water to have something to busy himself with. “I felt bad for you,” He started, placing the glass in front of the man. “You just looked so pitiful that it was embarrassing. But I figured you needed the sleep more that the food,” Nino finished and was about to walk away when the man suddenly reached over and grabbed his retreating hand.  
  
  
“I am so sorry to have inconvenienced you like this!” He all but yelled as Nino felt his heart pounding at the sudden contact. The man let go of his hand and bowed so low his head was practically touching the counter. “It was careless of me to have behaved in such a manner and I am truly thankful that you took care of me. I’m sorry! Please forgive my rudeness!”  
  
  
It took Nino a couple of moments to process what was happening before he replied, “Er.. it’s fine really. No need to be so formal.” The man looked up at Nino, head still tilted slightly in a bow. “And stop bowing, you are weirding me out more now than when you were asleep.”  
  
  
The man sat up straight, but his shoulders were slumped forward in a hunch with a dejected expression on his face. “I can’t get anything right today,” He whined, and it struck Nino for the second time that evening how child like the man could look.  
  
  
“Oh come on, we all do dumb things sometimes,” Nino started, ”No need to whinge about it.”  
  
  
“Ugh, I didn’t even get to finish my dinner,” The man said sadly. “It was so good too,” He sighed and looked away fondly as if remembering the taste.  
  
  
Nino just looked at him smiling in disbelief, was this guy for real? “You know…” Nino started drawing out the words teasingly. “I do have all this leftover curry that I was going to eat when we closed, but it looks like there is way too much for me, so I guess I will just throw the rest out,” He said feigning mock consideration. He glanced over at the man who was now staring at him with pleading puppy dog eyes. “Or I guess, you could have some with me if you want.”  
  
  
The man's face instantly broke out in a toothy grin. “Yes, I would like that very much!” He said and then nodded frantically.  
  
  
So in the end, Nino found himself sharing dinner with the man, which was a little mind blowing to be honest. Hadn’t he just been trying to convince his brother that he didn’t feel up to being  social lately, but here he was chatting and laughing with a complete stranger. The man explained that he was new to the area and had been struggling to find somewhere to eat for a few weeks now, explaining in detail why the other places he went to were unsatisfactory. At this Nino looked a little awkward but the man, who he did in fact find extremely attractive, assured him that the food here was amazing. Nino let him  do most of the talking, he seemed energized after the sleep and the food, so Nino just listened and gave occasional ‘Yeah?’ or ‘Really?’ or ‘That’s nice,’ response, appropriately.  
  
  
It was only when an hour had passed that the man seemed to suddenly realise how late it was, and started to profusely thank Nino for his hospitality and excuse himself. It was only when he had his hand on the door knob, he turned around and called out, “I’m sorry but I never asked for your name?”

 

  
“Uh,” Nino grunted, a little surprised. “It’s Ninomiya Kazunari,” He replied, the man smiled happily and Nino added, “And you?”  
  
  
“Sakurai Sho,” He said with a nod. “Thank you once again for tonight. Goodnight Ninomiya-san,” he said, punctuating the words with a small bow.  
  
  
“Goodnight Sakurai-san.” Nino bowed, the man smiled once again and left the restaurant. The sound of the door closing echoing in Nino’s brain. All he could think of were Jun’s words from earlier, Nino had to admit that Sakurai-san was seriously attractive, but it wasn’t like he had a crush on him or anything. Nino didn’t have crushes, he was twenty seven already and had already resigned himself to the lonely life of a hermit, which he was totally at peace with.  
  
  
But they had swapped names, maybe he was reading too much into it but he definitely got the feeling that he was going to see Sakurai-san again.  
  
  
-  
  
  
That night it had been oddly easy to drift off to sleep, a warm feeling washing over his mind as he remembered the strange events that occurred. It had been a while since he had been able to rest so well. When he woke, he just stayed in bed and enjoyed the morning warmth, not feeling the need to break out of his daze.  
  
  
That was until he heard the unmistakable sound of footsteps steadily making their way up the stairs, walking along the corridor and then a key jingling his door open. Nino groaned as the beam of light from his door revealed the intruder to be Jun and he pulled his pillow over his head to hide away from his brother. As much as he loved him, and he truly did, it was just a bit disappointing to be broken out of his dreamy daze by his little brother who could probably list his number one hobby as worrying about Nino.  
  
  
“Oh shit Kazu, were you sleeping?” Nino heard his brother walk over to him and sit down on the couch beside his futon. “I figured you would be playing a game or something,” J added innocently.  
  


 

Nino rolled onto his stomach, face still pressed into the pillow and let out a wail of frustration. “Why did you have to wake me,” his mind was still foggy from sleep but the warm feeling faded instantly returning to his usual melancholy.   
  
  
He felt a hand rub his back soothingly. “Sorry Kazu-chan,” Jun said gently. “You weren’t answering your phone-”

  
  
“Because I was asleep,” Nino shot grumpily, voice muffled by the pillow.  
  
  
“I wanted to check that you were doing okay, you did say I should just visit you when I called last night,” Jun said, sounding a little guilty.  
  
  
Nino sighed and rolled over to face his brother, “What time is it anyway?” He grumbled.  
  
  
“It’s already eleven, you are usually awake by now…” He trailed off awkwardly, sending a concerned glance to Ohno, who Nino only now realised, was leaning on the wall beside the couch Jun was sitting on.  
  
  
Nino felt a little embarrassed at this, he never usually slept until this late, but that was more due to him never sleeping much at all. “Whatever, I guess I was tired is all.”  
  
  
Jun smiled a little, though his expression was still one of concern. “Do you want to go out and get a late breakfast then, since we are here and all,” He gestured to himself and Ohno.  
  
  
“Not really,” Nino said, but felt terrible as his brother's face fell in disappointment. “But we can since I was just going to play games today anyway.”  
  
  
Jun still looked a little unconvinced but forced a smile anyway.  
  
  
-  
  


 

They ended up deciding just to go to a small cafe a block away, nothing overly special or exciting but Jun seemed happy to just be out with his brother. Nino on the other hand had to really force enjoyment since he was feeling particularly irritable today.  
  
  
Just after they sat down Jun started telling him about what he and Ohno had been up to recently, but Nino couldn’t really focus on what he was saying. There was an older man, dressed somewhat shabbily at the table next to them, who kept coughing. A deep hacking cough that sounded much like the symptom of a larger problem and Nino couldn’t help but flinch in agitation every time he heard the unpleasant sound.  
  
  
Once their coffees arrived Nino snatched it up quickly, eager for something to distract him. But this just resulted in him burning his tongue on the drink, building on his bad mood. As they ate their brunch, the cafe started to get busier as more and more people started cramming into the small building. Nino was having a great deal of trouble in tuning other people out around him as he was catching snippets of random conversations.  
  
  
He could feel his heart beating fast and since the noise from the cafe was getting unbearably loud, he felt himself growing tenser. His brother, noticing Nino's tensed look, reached over to grab his hand “Kazu-chan?” Came the familiar worried voice.  
  
  
Nino looked around the cafe again, taking in all the people around him. His heartbeat raced as he felt trapped in a sea of people, he could hear his brother saying something but he couldn’t focus on the words.  
  
  
He let out a gasp when he felt someone bump against his chair and the sound of a crying child suddenly erupting behind him.  


  
Out. He needed to get out. Now.  
  
  
He stood up abruptly and ignoring the sounds that burst out around him, he made his way quickly to the door. He couldn’t think as the cold air stung him, so he just kept walking until he found a small laneway. Turning in, he immediately buckled over pulling a hand up to his neck to loosen his hoodie. He couldn’t breath, even as he drew in breath after breath, it didn’t help. He could feel his heart beating so hard it hurt, there was nothing he could do but shut his eyes as he felt himself slip…  
  


 

But just as he felt himself losing consciousness, he felt strong arms wrap tightly around him, drawing him in close.  
  
  
“It’s alright Nino, I’ve got you,” He heard Ohno speak softly.  
  
  
“I’m sorry,” Nino whispered quietly.  
  
  
After a few minutes of soothing, Ohno finally calmed him enough to walk them home. Nino wasn’t sure if Jun had been there the whole time but he noticed his brother trailing behind them as they walked. He didn’t dare look at him though, not wanting to see his brother's face stained with worry.  
  
  
When they arrived back at the restaurant, Nino dashed upstairs as quickly as his shaky legs could take him, ignoring Aiba’s greeting on the way. He didn’t manage to shake off Jun and Ohno though, who were right behind him as he fumbled the key in his lock.  
  
  
He moved over to the couch and dropped down with a thud, bringing a hand to his forehead frustratedly. Jun cautiously joined him it on the couch, “Kazu-chan it’s okay.”  
  
  
Nino got up with a huff, not wanting to listen to his brother's reassurances. He stalked over to his kitchenette, reaching for the small cupboard where he stored his medicine. His head was pounding as he fumbled around various pill containers trying to locate the one that contained Paracetamol. But before he could find it, Ohno gently pulled him away. “Headache?” He asked simply before Nino could protest. He nodded in reply. “Sit, I’ll get it for you,” Ohno said.  
  
  
Nino sat grumpily on the couch next to his brother, who flinched a little. Ohno quickly handed him two tablets and a fresh glass of water. Once he had taken the medicine he felt his brother lean over and place a hand on his forearm gently, but Nino shrugged it off. “Kazu-chan…”  
  
  
Nino sighed, “Just don’t.”  
  
  
Jun mirrored his sigh, “We’re worried about-”

 

  
“Worried about me, I know, when are you not,” Nino snapped.  
  
  
  
“I’m sorry…” his voice was quiet and sad.  
  
  
“I don’t care, just leave me alone. I’m sick of you both,” Nino cringed as soon as the words left his mouth, but the damage was done.  
  
  
“Kazu…” he heard his brother say, voice cracking a little, but he didn’t dare look at him.  
  
  
“Let’s go home for today,” Ohno told Jun, Nino heard some shuffling as they made their way to the door.  
  
  
“I’ll call you tonight, okay?” Jun said sadly, then Nino heard the door click closed.  
  
  
-  
  
  
About 20 minutes later, Nino heard a knock at his door, followed by Aiba’s cautious call of “Nino?”  
  
  
“I’m awake,” was his usual signal that he didn’t mind Aiba entering. The door clicked open followed by Aiba walking in and joining him on the couch.  
  
  
“Rough day?” He asked casually. Nino, knowing that Ohno and Jun would have already filled him in before they left, didn’t really know how to answer so he had chose to stay silent. “You want me to get Toma-kun to work for you tonight?” Aiba asked.  
  
  
Toma was the only other staff they had, but he didn’t work regularly like Aiba and Nino, he just filled in the odd shifts here and there. Toma had a full time office job of some sort, not that Nino had ever paid much attention to the details. He had been in the year below Nino at school but had quickly joined their strange extended friend group. He was the sort of person who wasn’t phased by Nino’s odd behaviors, and when they worked together they always found something to laugh about.  
  
  
“No I’m fine, I want to work,” He said a little persistently.  
  
  
“Okay then,” Aiba didn’t sound too worried, which instantly made Nino feel better.  
  


  
“Let me know if you change your mind."  
  
  
Nino nodded and as Aiba got up to leave, he said a quiet “Thanks.” He really did want to work tonight, as he had a small hope that a certain man with sloping shoulders may return. So he buried all of the day's previous events and swore to himself that he would make it up to Jun later.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta credit goes to indigo-lover@livejournal ♥

Setting up for work that night, Nino could not shake the anticipation that he might see Sakurai-san again, but every time he felt that way, he tried desperately to bury the feeling. He didn’t want to get his hopes up so that when the man didn’t show up he wouldn’t be disappointed. And plus the likelihood of someone wanting to willingly spend time with him was low.  
  
  
These thoughts gave him a nice plateau of emotions, he felt comfortable with his brain behaving in this predictable way. The service that night was pretty busy, but nothing unusual for a Saturday. They were just starting to wind down service when Nino turned around to find a smiling Sakurai-san sat at the counter, the exact same spot he had fallen asleep in last night.  
  
  
“Ninomiya-san!” Sakurai called out excitedly, waving at Nino even though he was right in front of him.  
  
  
“Sakurai-san,” Nino said quietly, nodding and then wondered why he had done that. “You’re back, come to nap some more on our counter?” Nino teased, trying to lose any sense of formality between them. He also noticed Aiba hovering behind him, no doubt serving some other customers but also close enough to overhear their conversation.  
  
  
Sho started pouting with that over the top sulky face which he had worn the previous night.   “No, I just wanted to say sorry about last night,” Sho said, his voice taking a child like quality.  
  
  
“All is forgiven, seriously don’t worry about it,” Nino stated. “Do you want curry again? or something else?”  
  
  
Sho’s face broke out into the over-the-top smile again. “Curry please!” Nino took a few moments to plate some curry before returning and placing it on the counter in front of Sho. “Thank you Ninomiya-san,” He said happily.  
  
  
Nino watched as Sho began to happily shove huge amounts of curry into his mouth. “Nino,” He said absently, and Sho looked up at him questioningly. “You can call me Nino, everyone else does.”  
  


 

“Ok Nino-san!” Sho said happily, words muffled slightly around a mouthful of curry. “You can call me Sho, then.” He smiled.

 

  
Nino couldn’t help but return his smile, and looked away to check on other orders when he caught sight of Aiba staring at him from the other end of the counter. Nino quickly swapped his smile for his usual grumpy expression and scowled at Aiba, who was smiling smugly and chuckling to himself.  
  
  
Nino started to absentmindedly wash plates when there were fewer and fewer customers to serve since it was getting close to closing time in the restaurant. He stifled a yawn that threatened to loudly escape his mouth, the fiasco of the day he had had left him more tired than he realised, even after such a good sleep last night.  
  
  
“Nino-san?” Sho’s call broke him out of his sleepy haze.  
  
  
Nino walked over to where Sho was sitting, the plate of curry almost completely devoured. “Hm? Do you need more curry Sho-san?” Nino asked.  
  
  
“No it’s fine.” Sho smiled and shook his head. “You just seem a little tired and I was worried that I kept you up too late last night,” Sho said sheepishly.  
  
  
“Ah.” Nino was a little embarrassed since he hadn’t really looked in the mirror before he started so he assumed that he must look pretty wrecked, panic attacks tend to knock him around a bit. “No, it wasn’t you,” Nino reassured. “I just had a pretty busy day today,” Nino said vaguely, as if trying to convince himself along with Sho.  
  
  
“Are you sure?” Sho asked. “I still feel kind of bad about last night,” Sho contemplated as he propped his head on his hand.  
  
  
“Seriously, it’s not that, just forget about it,” Nino said, feeling a little worn out.  
  
  
But then Sho suddenly smiled and raised a finger in the air. “I’ve got it!” he exclaimed happily. Nino just stared blankly back at him, feeling somewhat exasperated by the Sho’s erratic behavior. Sho, seemingly unfazed by Nino’s lack of enthusiasm just continued. “You still have to close up the restaurant and clean up right?”  
  


 

“...Right?” Nino replied suspiciously, not quite understanding what Sho was getting at.  
  
  
“I’ll stay and help you, then!” Sho said happily. “Because you look really tired and I feel partly responsible for that,” Sho reasoned. “Plus, I owe you one for the curry last night.”  
  
  
Nino sighed. “There is no need, really,” He fought weakly as he rubbed his face to hide a small smile.  
  
  
“That’s a great idea!” Nino groaned as Aiba appeared next to him, slinging an arm around his shoulder. “That way, I can go upstairs to take care of the accounts and I don’t have to worry about you falling asleep without closing up properly,” Aiba smiled brightly, squeezing Nino’s shoulder before turning to Sho.  
  
  
“Ah! Yes, I would be happy to help,” Sho started and held out his hand. “I’m Sakurai Sho, Nino-san looked after me last night so I want to return the favour.”  
  
  
“Aiba Masaki.” Aiba shook his hand in greeting, before adding, “I thought you looked familiar, you’re the one who fell asleep in the middle of service right?” Aiba asked, though Nino knew he had known as soon as he saw him that evening.  
  


  
“Ah, yes. That was me, I am afraid,” Sho admitted.  
  
  
“Here I was ready to throw you out for taking up space where we could have paying customers, but Nino here, was set on helping you out. Even made a little pillow for you, it was so sweet,” Aiba said with a wide grin.  
  
  
Sho and Nino’s faces both turned a similar shade of beet red with Sho bowing his head towards Aiba. “I am truly sorry for any inconvenience I caused,” Sho said seriously.  
  
  
Aiba just laughed, which earned a glare and a smack at the back of the head from Nino. Aiba winced and rubbed his head but immediately went back to smiling. “Don’t worry about it. Just help out tonight and we can call it even.” With that, Aiba went back to whatever work he was doing before.

 

  
Sho looked up at Nino and gave a small sheepish smile, which Nino couldn’t help but return.   
  


  
-  
  
  
With Sho’s help, Nino closed up pretty quickly that evening. He gave Sho easy jobs like wiping benches and stacking chairs while Nino organised the stock. Nino had to stop himself from staring at Sho a couple times, he really was Nino’s type. He hadn’t paid much attention earlier, but the suit Sho had been wearing the previous night had been replaced by a pair of low slung jeans and a tight dark pink V-neck shirt which would ride up his back as he bent down to wipe the benches, revealing a tantalizing amount of well toned flesh underneath. Nino also appreciated the way the muscles in his shoulders and arms would flex as he lifted the chairs.  
  
  
When they were getting close to finishing up, Nino felt like he had to come up with a reason to keep Sho here. He wasn’t sure what came over him but he actually wanted to spend more time with him and talk like they had the previous night. So right as they were finishing up, Nino walked over to the fridge and pulled out a couple cans of beer, and pushed one along the counter towards Sho. “Want one?” Nino asked nonchalantly as he opened his own and took a long sip.  
  
  
Sho considered it for a moment, before smiling. “Why not.” He said happily, sitting down at the counter and opening his beer. Nino moved to sit next to him and surprisingly, it wasn’t hard to fall back into the same easy rhythm of their conversation like last night. Sho started telling Nino about an amazing cake shop he had been to earlier that day, explaining in detail the taste and textures of the cake he ate and why it was the most delicious cake he had in some time. Nino just smiled and laughed, however, whenever Sho asked questions about Nino, he would just change the subject, or give really vague answers. Sho didn't seem to mind though and it was refreshing to talk to someone who didn’t know who he was, or what had happened to him in the past. For the short time, he could just imagine that he was just another average guy.  
  
  
Around half an hour later, while Sho was still talking excitedly and showed no sign of slowing down, Nino’s phone started buzzing loudly from where it was lying on the counter next to him. Sho stopped abruptly as Nino turned to reach for the phone. “Sorry, just a moment.” Nino muttered.  
  
  
When Nino saw that ‘J’ was calling, he paused for a moment, his brother did always have perfect timing. But he had the right to be worried after what happened today, it had been a while since un had seen Nino mid panic attack. As he was trying to come up with something to say to his brother, the vibration stopped.  
  
  
“Is everything okay?” Sho asked. “Your girlfriend?” Sho gestured to the phone.  
  
  
Nino sighed. “No, I don’t have a partner,” Nino said quietly.  
  
  
“An ex maybe?” Sho guessed again, and Nino looked over at him to see Sho smiling cheekily at him. “Oh! A stalker! Your ex is still in love with you and won't leave you alone! I’m right, yeah?” Sho looked way to happy right now.  
  
  
“Nope, not even close. The closest thing I have to a stalker is you,” Nino teased, Sho reacted with mock offence. Nino looked back at the phone. “My brother,” He said, giving the phone a little wave for emphasis. “My little brother,” Nino added.  
  
  
“Oh,” Sho said simply, clearly confused by Nino’s reaction.  
  
  
“I was kind of an arsehole today, I think he thinks I am mad at him,” Nino said, looking over at Sho.  
  
  
“But you’re not mad at him?” Sho tried to clarify.  
  
  
“No,” Nino said bluntly.  
  


“Then why didn’t you answer?” Sho asked innocently.  
  
  
“Because…” Nino trailed off, trying to think of a way to simply explain it. “Because I don’t know what I should say to him. I was stupid before so now I feel like an idiot.”  
  
  
“Hmm, that is tricky,” Sho started, raising his thumb and his index finger to rub his chin contemplatively. “You should probably call him back…” Sho drifted off slightly. “Because, if he is calling you, then he clearly wants to talk to you, and if you just apologize then you can just forget about it, right?”  
  
  
“Yeah… You are probably right…” Nino mumbled, staring down at his phone.  
  
  
“Go on then,” Sho smiled. “It will be fine.” He leaned over and gave Nino a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder.  
  
  
Determined, Nino fumbled the phone open, scrolled until he found his brother's number, took a deep breath and hit the call button.  
  
  
“Hello?” Jun answered, “Kazu-chan?”  
  
  
Nino took a moment before saying “Hey,” quietly.  
  
  
“Is everything okay?” Jun asked.  
  
  
Nino sighed sadly, such a useless brother he was. “Yeah,” Nino thought a moment, “It’s just..” God, this was worse than he thought it would be and he looked over at Sho, who just smiled back at him encouragingly.  
  
  
“Kazu?”  
  
  
“Well, you called,” Nino said, trying to avoid the inevitable awkwardness.  
  
  
“Oh yeah, just before,” Jun said obviously. “I was just checking in, and wanted to ask how work went?” Jun started lightly.  
  
  
“Yeah it was fine, pretty busy though.” Sho still giving him an encouraging expression. “Hey J,” Nino blurted out before he could lose his nerve.  
  


  
“Yeah?”  
  
  
“Um, about today...” Nino started quietly. “I just wanted to say, I’m sorry.”  
  
  
“Kazu-chan it’s okay, you don’t need to apologize.”  
  
  
“But I want to.” Nino said firmly. “I didn’t treat you very well and I’m sorry. Tell Oh-chan that I’m sorry too, since he had to deal with it.”  
  
  
“Okay Kazu-chan, but you know I will love you no matter what, right? So don’t get hung up on what happened,” Jun said kindly.  
  
  
“I won’t,” Nino sighed, “I better go.”  
  
  
“Okay, talk to you later then.”  
  
  
“Night,” Nino said before hanging up the phone.  
  
  
“How did it go?” Sho asked, even though he had clearly heard the whole conversation.  
  
  
“Yeah okay,” Nino sighed. “I still feel kinda shitty about it though.” Nino started fiddling with his phone. “Maybe I should go see him tomorrow…” Nino wondered out loud.  
  
  
“That’s a good idea, this way you can apologize in person,” Sho nodded approvingly. “Oh!” he suddenly said as he pointed upwards, idea forming in his head. “Does your brother like cake? You should get him some cake from the place I was telling you about, then there is no way he can be mad at you!” Sho said excitedly.  
  
  
“Are you sure it’s good enough to make him forget about me being the worst brother in the world,” Nino said sarcastically.

 

  
“I don’t know about that,” Sho said. “But if you got him some of those cake, you would definitely be the best brother in the world.”  
  
  
Nino couldn’t help but laugh fondly at Sho’s excitement, and eventually after some prodding, Nino agreed to buy some. Thus, they discussed and decided that Sho would meet Nino at the cake shop tomorrow morning to help him choose what to get. They traded numbers so they could call to arrange the time to meet. Once Sho had left and and Nino had locked up the shop, he sat down at the counter again and pulled out his phone, opening the contact card he had just made for Sho. Had he just made plans to go on a date with Sho without even realizing?  
  
  
-  
  
  
Nino spent the night stuck in a thought spiral, endlessly questioning what on earth was going on with him and Sho and analyzing every moment of the time they spent together. By the time the sun had come up, Nino had come up with two likely conclusions. One, it was not a date! They only met two days ago so there was no way this would be a date and more importantly, two, Sho did not like Nino. He must have just taken pity on him because well, Nino does give off an useless failure-of-a-human-being vibe that people can't help but be drawn into helping. That was the only reason on why Sho had helped him last night and the only reason why he would see him today.  
  
  
After a few minutes of staring up at his ceiling, Nino was starting to think that Sho would just forget about it and not text him but just as the thought entered his mind, his phone vibrated. It was a message from Sho, ‘Good morning.' followed by an obnoxious smiley emoji which then continued with 'Let's meet outside the station at 9.30 and then I will take you to the cake shop.'  
  
  
Nino just stared at his phone in disbelief. Sho seemed so strange to him since he could never imagine himself doing anything like that. He typed out a simple ‘okay’ in response and then giving up on the hope of getting any decent sleep, got up to take a shower.  
  
  
-  
  


When Nino arrived outside the station, his heart was pounding hard in his chest as he looked around at the swarms of people, trying to make out Sho’s face. Nino was not so good in crowds to be honest, it wasn’t that he had a fear of people per say, but he always imagined things like, wouldn’t it be terrible if you got a panic attack and then all these people would see how much of a freak you are. In the past he had become overwhelmed in busy places resulted in his grip on reality weakening, not that he can remember much but Jun had always filled him in when he came round. It had been over a year since it last happened, but after yesterday, he felt like there was a higher chance of something going wrong today.  
  
  
Feeling uneasy, Nino chose to look down at his phone instead and started to type a message to Sho. He typed, ‘Waiting at the bottom of the stairs.’ and hit send, only to hear a message tone go off in front of him. He looked up to find Sho waving at him with a goofy grin plastered all over his face.  
  
  
As he walked over to where Nino was, he seemed to consider Nino for a moment, probably taking in his disheveled appearance before asking. “Have you had breakfast yet?”  
  
  
“Um, I guess not,” Nino replied, thinking back through the morning, which he had wasted trying to pick the perfect it’s-not-a-date-but-I-wouldn’t-mind-if-it was outfit.  
  
  
“Neither have I, so I was thinking that we could grab some before we head off.” Sho just smiled as he added, “Come on, I need a coffee,” and before Nino could even answer, Sho had grabbed his hand and dragged him away.  
  
  
It was a little strange that walking around hand in hand with Sho didn’t really feel strange at all. The lack of awkwardness was so unnatural to Nino, since he was not used to being close or affectionate with others, that it was seriously confusing him. Just as he had convinced himself that this was not a date, this happened and made his mind spiral with doubt.  
  
  
As Nino was lost in thought, Sho entered a little coffee and pastry shop. Before Nino could even say anything, Sho was directing him to a small table for two in the corner.  
  
  
Nino sat down and watched in astonishment as Sho walked casually to the counter and ordered while smiling politely at the staff. After he had placed the order, he walked back to the small table and sat down opposite to Nino, saying. “I just ordered us a couple cups of coffee and some sandwiches.”  
  
  
“Oh,” Nino started. “Thanks?” He felt a little embarrassed at his awkwardness but he certainly could not explain to Sho that he's already worn out brain had gone into overdrive by the other man's unexpected hand holding.  
  
  
“Well, I’m a zombie in the morning if I haven’t eaten.” Sho smiled as the waitress brought the sandwiches and coffee over.  
  
  
If this was Sho as a ‘zombie’ then Nino didn't dared to think of what he resembled right now. Nino shivered at the thought and tried hard to dispel any unwanted images from his mind. He tried to cover up his behavior by taking a sip of coffee, which he immediately regretted when the hot liquid scald his tongue. He coughed and spluttered ungracefully, and seeing this, Sho reached over to give him a couple of firm pats on the back.  
  
  
“Sorry,” Nino said horsley as he reached for the glass of water in front of him. “I am just a bit out of it today,” Nino explained vaguely.  
  
  
“Don’t worry,” Sho smiled. “Once you have food and coffee in your system, you will feel heaps better,” He reached down to grab his sandwich before adding. “Just give it a few minutes to cool down,” He said as he gestured at the steaming cup with a kind smile.  
  
  
Nino couldn’t help but smile, it was like Sho’s positivity was infectious and as they ate their meal, they swapped light conversation. Although, they were mainly focused on eating. Nino didn't mind though because he enjoyed watching Sho eat,  taking overly large bites and humming in appreciation with every mouthful.  
  
  
Once they finished, they slowly made their way towards the cake store with Sho pointing out other places he had been. Nino laughed as Sho explained how he mapped out all the places to eat within the area.  
  
  
Once they arrived, Nino was kind of surprised to find that the destination was a small but clean cafe that looked like it would be more at home in the streets of a fancy european city. The sign above the door was written in such a fancy script that Nino couldn’t even make out what it said and when they entered, Nino’s eyes were immediately drawn to the sparkling display case that housed shelf upon shelf of tiny delicate cakes and treats.  
  
  
While his immediate urge was to gawk at all the detailed desserts, he kept just a little behind Sho, and shrinking back a little. Nino felt a little awkward when he saw that the cafe was almost entirely populated by young ladies, but Sho didn’t seem at all bothered by it while cheerfully asking for a table for two. Nino shot Sho a confused glance, but Sho just smiled and shrugged as they were shown to a table. Nino soon discovered that when Sho said that he would help him choose what cake to get his brother, what he really meant was that he would order a sample plate with Nino so they could try them together. Nino didn’t mind though, he really did think it was sweet at how much Sho liked food.  
  
  
They were seated by a friendly staff member on a table for two, next to a table of four young girls who were chattering excitedly. Nino quickly realized that the source of their chattering was the man sitting opposite him and they were taking turns in sneaking glances at Sho and giggling. When one of the girls turned and looked at him, he quickly turned away as his face flushed red with embarrassment. He didn’t look back over but couldn’t drown out the sounds of giggling, appreciative sighs and the repeated “So cute!” comment.  
  
  
Sho once again did not seem bothered by this, but on the other hand, maybe he was just oblivious to it. Luckily the table of girls left just as Sho had finished placing the order, which allowed Nino to relax a little.  
  
  
When the waitress brought the order over, Nino was even more impressed that the desserts in the display case had managed to shrink into tiny bite sized morsels. There were about 15 different items on the plate, each one just big enough for Sho and Nino to have a spoonful for a taste.  
  
  
“Hmm, I think J would like this one,” Nino said chewing thoughtfully on the strawberry shortcake. “It’s simple but delicious, something he would like for sure,” Nino smiled.  
  
  
“That’s great,” Sho smiled and then dug his fork into the strawberry cake to try some for himself. “Mmm, it’s really good.”  
  
  
“I still have to chose one for Oh-chan,” Nino said contemplating on the other cakes.  
  
  
“Oh-chan?” Sho asked.  
  
  
“Yeah, my brother’s boyfriend,” Nino said casually.

  
  


“Oh cool, what kind of food does he usually like?” Sho asked, seemingly unfazed by the new piece of information.  
  
  
Nino couldn’t help the warm smile that spread across his face as he looked at Sho before replying. “He doesn’t have much of a sweet tooth, so it might be tricky.”  
  
  
Sho looked thoughtfully at the spread before them. “Well the salted caramel is still pretty sweet…” He started. “Oh! the green tea one is really nice and mild!” Sho pointed excitedly at the delicate little pale green cake so Nino had a taste.  
  
  
“Mmm! It’s good!” Nino said smiling happily as he ate another mouthful. “It’s perfect!”  
  
  
“Great! then it’s decided,” Sho smiled.  
  
  
They finished off the plate slowly between each other while washing it down with a pot of English tea. Nino was feeling pretty full after since he was not used to eating so much, but Sho insisted that he buy himself a slice to have with his brother. “It would be weird if you didn’t have some with them right?” So Nino got himself a hazelnut cake along with the other two slices.  
  
  
Sho walked him to the station when they left the little cafe, they each exchanged an awkward goodbye and thanking each other for the morning. But just as Nino was about to walk off to catch a train, Sho called after him. “Are you working tonight?”  
  
  
“Yeah,” Nino said, trying not be jostled around in the crowd too much.  
  
  
“Cool, you can tell me how it goes, then.” Sho smiled. “See you!” He gave a small wave and walked off.  
  
  
\-   
  
  
Nino was very confused. That was all he could think about as he slowly made his way to the apartment Jun and Ohno shared. He had only known Sho for a couple days but now they were… friends? He did his best to bury the thought as he made his way up the stairs of the apartment complex, letting out a yawn as he climbed.  
  
  
When he arrived, he took a moment to rub his eyes and run his fingers through his hair, hoping he didn’t look too disheveled. It was only after he rang the doorbell that he thought that he probably should have called before turning up here unannounced. They could be out for all he knew or worse, they could be having sex. The thought made Nino cringe and just as he had completely given up on the plan and was turning to leave, when the door creaked open.  
  
  
“Nino?” It was Ohno who opened the door, looking rather confused.  
  
  
“Hey Oh-chan,” Nino said, feeling foolish, why would he think they would want to see him after what happened yesterday. “Uh, is J home?”  
  
  
Ohno still looked confused but nodded slowly and moved to one side, gesturing for Nino to come in. Nino took a moment to change into the guest slippers Ohno offered before silently following him to the kitchen.  
  
  
Jun was cooking and didn’t turn around when they entered. “Who was it?” he asked, eyes fixed on whatever he was doing at the stove.  
  
  
Ohno just looked at Nino and shrugged. “Hey J,” Nino said.  
  
  
Jun turned his head sharply to see his brother standing beside Ohno. “Kazu-chan!” He smiled brightly and rushed over to Nino to wrap him in a big hug. He let go and held Nino at arms length so he could examine his brother carefully. “Whats up? Why are you here?” Jun asked, voice filled with concern.  
  
  
“I’m a little offended on how much it surprises you both when I visit,” Nino said jokingly, making sure to keep smiling so as to not bother his brother.  
  
  
“Well you could have called,” Jun said teasingly.  
  
  
  
“Yeah well…” Nino sighed, “I guess I forgot.”  
  
  
“Whatever, you know you are welcome here whenever you want,” Jun smiled ruffling Nino’s hair. “Why didn’t you use the spare key we gave you?” Jun asked.  
  
  
“Oh yeah… I guess I forgot about it.” Jun just laughed and turned back to his cooking.  
  
  
“I’m making lunch if you want to join us, there will be plenty so it’s no problem,” Jun offered.  
  
  
“Oh!” Nino remembered, “I urr… Got you guys something…” feeling a little embarrassed as he put the bag on the kitchen counter as if it was nothing important.  
  
  
“Ohh!” Jun turned around excitedly. “Satoshi can you watch this for a sec?” Jun gestured at the bubbling pot on the stove, and Ohno took over.  
  
  
Nino rubbed his hand at the back of his neck nervously while watching as Jun took the cake box out of the bag happily. “It’s nothing really, I just thought, as a thank you, you know...” Nino mumbled.  
  
  
“Oh wow! These look amazing!” Jun admired the dainty cakes as he looked in the box. “Where did you get them?”  
  
  
“A customer at work told me about it, he said they were really good so I thought I might get you some,” Nino justified, attempting to make it seem like a perfectly ordinary gesture.  
  
  
“Aww thank you!” Jun said and hugged Nino again. “It’s really sweet of you.”  
  
  
Nino could not express how relieved he was when none of them brought up yesterday, he was able to spend a relaxed afternoon just spending time with his brother and his boyfriend. They shared the cake after lunch, though Nino just took a few bites of his to be polite before offering the rest to the others, not having mentioned that he well and truly had his cake fill for the day.

  
  


He didn’t mention Sho though.He didn't want them to know about him yet since if he himself couldn't explain their situation, then there was no way he could explain it to anyone else.  
  
  
They eventually decided to spend the remainder of the afternoon watching a movie in the lounge with Nino stretching out on the couch and the other two sharing a recliner. Around five minutes after the movie had started, Nino started to doze off, the full feeling from lunch was making him warm and comfortable.  
  
  
-  
  
  
A hand was shaking his shoulder gently when he next opened his eyes, staring blearily into his brother's face. Nino stretched and let out a yawn as he looked over at the TV to see the credits rolling. Jun sat back and smiled.  
  
  
“You have work tonight right, Kazu?” Jun asked.  
  
  
“Yeah,” Nino said croakily.  
  
  
“Well, you better head off soon, but I’ll make some tea before you go,” Jun said before getting up and moving to the kitchen.  
  
  
“Did you like the movie?” Ohno teased from where he was still lounging on the recliner.  
  
  
“Oh yeah, real good,” Nino said sarcastically. “Especially the bit when the aliens came and enslaved humanity,” Nino added with a smirk.  
  
  
“Oh, I must have missed that bit,” Ohno said with mock confusion.  
  
  


“Gee.. Oh-chan what have I told you about sleeping through movies,” Nino joked. “Get it together,” He tutted.

 

  
Ohno rolled his eyes before casually asking, “Big night last night?”  
  
  
“I was at work and you know it,” Nino said flatly.  
  
  
“Doesn’t mean you can’t get up to anything after work,” Ohno said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, “If you know what I mean,” Punctuating with words with a couple winks.  
  
  
Nino threw a cushion at him. “As if, you perv!” Glaring at Ohno who just started laughing at the attack.  
  
  
“Well you just seem pretty tired is all,” Ohno reasoned.  
  
  
“I’m always tired,” Nino said quickly but noticing the frown on Ohno’s face, he added, “I was just gaming for too long and then got up early to buy you guys stupid cakes. I can see that I shouldn’t have bothered,” Nino grumbled, cursing himself at his sudden surliness.  
  
  
“Oh stop it, you two,” Jun scolded as he entered the room with three steaming cups of tea on a tray, setting it down on the coffee table.  
  
  
“Sorry Matsujun,” Ohno said.  
  
  
“Oh he wasn’t being serious J, just winding me up as usual,” Nino said defensively.  
  
  
Once they were done with their tea, Jun walked Nino to the door to see him off. “Thanks for today Kazu-chan. It was really nice to see you.”  
  
  
“Mhmm,” Nino mumbled in agreement. “Thanks for having me.”  
  
  
Jun considered Nino for a moment, before saying. “Look after yourself okay?”  
  


  
“I will,” Nino mumbled.  
  
  
“Feel free to bring me cakes whenever you want,” Jun said, smiling cheekily. “Oh! But call next time okay?” Jun added.  
  
  
“Okay I will,” Nino said. “I’m off,” He added with a small wave.  
  
  
“Have a safe trip,” Jun replied.  
  
  
-  
  
  
  
Sho came into the restaurant that night as he said he would, close to closing time as usual. He had been very eager to hear about Nino’s day but before Nino could get around to explaining, Aiba had interrupted them.  
  
  
“If you want to distract my staff then you can stay back and help close up again, Sakurai-san,” Aiba said sternly.  
  
  
“I’m sorry! of course I will stay and help,” Sho bowed his head nervously towards Aiba.  
  
  
“Good, you can talk as much as you want then. But for now, let Nino do his job,” Aiba said firmly. Nino was quick to catch the smirk on Aiba’s face though, who usually never had a problem with talking to customers and was clearly trying to be sneaky for Nino’s sake. Aiba was like the nicest person he knew and Nino could tell he was trying to help set them up, even though Nino wasn’t entirely sure if that was what he wanted.  
  
  
-  
  
  
That night as they were closing together, Nino told Sho about his afternoon, explaining that the cake was indeed appreciated and that he seemed to still be on good terms with his brother. Once they had finished, they settled down at the counter together and Sho accepting the beer that Nino offered gratefully. Nino still found it strange on how easy it was to talk to Sho, and was gradually opening up and telling Sho a little about himself. He still let Sho guide the conversations but he was more inclined to answer his questions than before. Nino didn’t know why, but being with Sho just made him feel comfortable.  
  
  
-  
  
  
Without even realising, over the next few weeks, Nino and Sho developed a routine. Sho would come in late to the restaurant each night Nino was working, help him close up, and then they would sit and talk, sometimes for hours. By the second week, Nino was surprised that they never ran out of things to talk about, but Sho would usually tell him about his day and then they would talk about whatever spiraled from there.  
  
  
Nino had decided very early to make Aiba swear that he would not tell Jun or Ohno anything about Sho. Not that that there was anything to tell, as they were just friends, Nino assured him. But he certainly did not want his brother to start jumping to conclusions as he knew he would.  
  
  
Around three weeks after they had fallen into this little routine, Nino arranged to meet Jun for a coffee one morning.  
  
  
“You seem happy,” Jun remarked, eyeing Nino cautiously.  
  
  
Nino sneezed a couple times. “Sorry. Um. Thanks?” Nino replied, not sure what his brother was getting at.  
  
  
“Have you got yourself a girlfriend?” Jun asked suddenly.  
  
  
Nino sputtered on his coffee. “What?! No!” He choked out defensively.  
  
  
“Boyfriend?” Jun probed.  
  


“What the hell, J!?” Nino squeaked, coughing a little.

 

  
“Well you are acting strange, and not the usual strange. You keep zoning out and smiling and stuff,” He eyed Nino suspiciously.  
  
  
“It's nothing! You are just imagining things,” Nino said letting out a frustrated huff. “I feel like shit today to be honest,” Nino said stretching out his stiff joints a little. He had woken up feeling congested and was starting to get one of those brain fogging headaches.  
  
  
“Are you getting sick?” Jun asked, with just a hint of worry in his voice. In the past when Nino got sick, it had triggered some more unfortunate things, so Nino could understand why his brother might be concerned.  
  
  
Nino smiled and shook his head. “Probably nothing, a cold at the most,” He assured. “I will stop by the chemist on the way home just in case and get some cold medicine.”  
  
  
Jun smiled, “Just look after yourself.”  
  
  
“I will.”  
  


  
-  
  
  
Nino had remembered to go to the chemist that morning, but when he got back to his apartment, he instantly forgot about the medicine. Favouring instead to fall asleep on his couch, that is until was awoken sharply by the sound of a few firm knocks at his door.  
  
  
“Nino, I am setting up now if you want to come down,” He heard Aiba call.  
  
  
Groaning, Nino rolled over and pulled his phone out of his pocket, cursing himself when he realised he was late. He felt extremely groggy and his mouth was dry, he really hadn’t intended to sleep all day as napping made him feel weirdly more tired than before. But he pulled on his work clothes and made his way downstairs.  
  


  
“Wow, Nino you look-” Aiba started before Nino interrupted.  
  
  
“Like shit,” He finished voice still croaky from sleep. “I know, sorry I must have dozed off.”  
  
  
“Are you feeling okay? You look kind of sick?” Aiba asked cautiously.  
  
  
Nino poured himself a glass of water and took a few large gulps before replying, “It’s fine, I just feel weird because I napped too long.”  
  
  
“Do you want to eat something before we start?” Aiba offered.  
  
  
“Nah, it’s already late,” Nino said gesturing at the clock. "Don’t worry, I will be fine,” He smiled half heartedly for emphasis.  
  
  
-  
  
  
But to be honest, Nino felt far from fine, the headache he had earlier that day had not gone away but instead gotten worse and his joints were aching like crazy. He could tell he was worrying Aiba as he kept messing up orders as the night wore on. But lucky for Nino, it was a fairly quiet evening so Aiba just looked after the serving while Nino prepared the meals and cleaned up.  
  
  
Nino didn’t even noticed when Sho came in, he just looked up to see him staring at him from the counter. Nino just gave a small wave and a half hearted smile from where he was washing dishes, Sho just frowned back at him.  
  
  
When Nino was done with the dishes, he walked over to where Sho was sitting at the counter, but before he could say anything, Sho spoke. “You look unwell,” He said shortly, Nino was just glad there were only a few customers and that none of them seemed to hear.  
  
  
Nino leaned down towards Sho with the excuse of refilling his water and said quietly in Sho’s ear. “Ok, fine. I think I might be getting a cold,” Nino said before raising his head.  
  


  
“Getting? I think you have one, full stop,” Sho said incredulously. “You should be resting if you’re sick,” Sho mumbled sulkily, avoiding Nino’s gaze.  
  
  
“Ahh, look I thought I would be okay for tonight but maybe…” Nino started, feeling his cheeks flush with embarrassment. “Maybe I was wrong,” Nino finished quietly.  
  
  
Sho looked up at Nino and smiled. “It’s okay, I will close up for you tonight.”  
  
  
“You don’t have to, I can get Aiba to help me, it’s fine, really.” Nino tried to assure him.  
  
  
“It’s okay, I like to help,” Sho said kindly.  
  
  
By the time they reached closing time, Nino was glad for the help. He was stiff and achy all over and feeling especially worn out after working. He sat down at the counter while Sho fetched him a cup of tea.  
  
  
“Urgh, why is this happening to me,” Nino moaned as Sho walked round to rub his back comfortingly and reached a hand around to Nino’s forehead.  
  
  
“Mmm I hate to break this to you but you have a fever.”  
  
  
“So annoying,” Nino complained. “I hate being sick.”  
  
  
Nino ended up just directing Sho to pack up while he lazily sipped his tea. Just as he got up shakily to check everything was done, his phone rang.  
  
  
“Hey J, what's up?” Nino asked wearily.  
  
  


“Just wanted to check in to see how you are doing,” Jun asked with concern in his voice. Nino looked over at Sho and mouthed ‘It’s just my brother,’ before replying.

 

  
“Yeah I definitely have a cold,” Nino admitted. “But there is no need to worry, I will look after myself,” Nino said, he felt a sudden wave of dizziness washed over him so he quickly grabbed the counter for support. In the corner of his eyes, he noticed Sho move a little closer towards him.  
  
  
“You should probably go to the doctor tomorrow-” Jun said, but Nino couldn’t process what he was saying any longer as he felt blood rush to his head and his headache pounding hard. The world started to spin and his vision started to blur, effectively blocking out his brother’s words. He looked up at Sho with pleading eyes as if silently begging for help.  
  
  
“Nino?” He heard Sho call out faintly as he slowly reached out with a panicked look on his face.  
  
  
He could still hear garbled noises coming from the speaker of his phone, so he tried to speak. “J, I…”  
  
  
But that was all he managed to say before his vision went black.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta credit goes to the amazing indigo-lover@livejournal ♥

“Just let me check that everything’s done, then I’ll lock up” Nino said, getting wearily on his feet. Sho merely watched as he gingerly made his way around the restaurant, ticking off a mental checklist.  
  
  
“Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you to the doctors or something?” Sho offered, staring at the way that Nino was shivering slightly. “It wouldn’t be a bother” Sho added.  
  
  
Nino looked over to him and smiled, the smile that usually made Sho light headed and giddy, except this time, Sho could not help but worry about him. The man in front of him looked pale and unsteady. “I should be fine, I just need to sleep, I think” Nino said.  
  
  
Before Sho could respond, they were interrupted by the shrill sound of Nino’s ringing phone. “Sorry, give me a moment,” He said before answering. “Hey J, what’s up?” It was his brother of course and Sho realised that his brother did have an odd tendency to call around this time. Sho didn’t make any assumptions though because he knew that families can be complicated sometimes.  
  
  
Sho watched as Nino listened to his brother, but then the smaller man seemed to stumble and when Sho moved up the counter so he could get closer to Nino, the man looked as if he was about to faint.   
  
  
“Nino? Are you okay?” Sho asked, but Nino didn’t even look like he had heard him, eyes glazing over and started to tilt over one side. “Nino!”  
  
  
Sho leapt forward to catch him just as he heard Nino say weakly. “J, I…” As he fell to the ground, phone crashing loudly on the tiled floor as it slipped out of Nino’s fingers.  
  
  
Luckily, Sho had moved forward just in time to catch him, slinging his arms under Nino’s to support him. Not so luckily, when Sho made the sudden movement, he lost his balance that sent them both crashing to the floor. He felt the wind knocked out of him when his back connected with the floor, arms locking Nino to his chest to stop him from getting hurt. He then felt a twinge of panic at Nino’s weight pressed down on him from above as he struggled to draw breath. He closed his eyes and laid there for a few minutes to regain his bearings.  
  
  
Eventually, he managed to shift himself so that Nino was lying in his lap as he checked his pulse and was relieved to find him breathing normally. He was shivering though, and his forehead was very hot to the touch.  
  
  
Not wanting to leave Nino, he started to feel around his pockets for his phone and silently cursed when he realised that he had left it in his car to charge. “Aiba-san!” He yelled towards the stairs where Aiba had ascended that night. “Aiba-san!” he called again. “I need some help!”  
  
  
A few moments later he heard the unmistakable sound of footsteps echoing from above. “What’s going on?” Aiba called as he rushed down the stairs.  
  
  
“Nino fainted,” Sho explained, gesturing to the man in his lap and Aiba looked shocked at the image before him. “Well he sort of collapsed on me, I guess” Sho clarified, looking embarrassed.  
  
  
“Oh geeze,” Aiba said exasperatedly. “I really shouldn’t have let him work tonight,” Aiba mumbled to himself, crouching down beside Nino to examine him.  
  
  
“I was wondering why…” Sho drifted of, trying to think of a way to ask that would not offend Aiba.  
  
  
“Nino is very stubborn,” Aiba explained.  
  
  
“I can see that,” Sho said, absentmindedly stroking Nino’s hair.  
  
  
“So when Nino insisted that he wanted to work, I didn’t have the guts to stop him” Aiba sighed, then added, “Plus, I think he probably wanted to see you.”

  
  


Those words made Should smile, even if it was just speculation. But he had to focus now as Nino continued to shiver in his lap so he ignored Aiba’s comment and asked. “Should we take him to the hospital?”  
  
  
Aiba stood up, looking down at them thoughtfully. “I think he just overdid it, so we should just try to get some food into him and get him to bed.”  
  
  
“Are you sure?” Sho asked. “I mean, he is in a pretty bad way.”  
  
  
Aiba looked like he was having some intense internal struggle before he sighed and just said, “Nino really hates hospitals, it would just stress him out.”  
  
  
“Oh,” Sho was a little surprised at that new piece of information. He looked down at Nino and wiped a bead of sweat from his forehead with the sleeve of his jumper. “Okay then, I guess that would be bad.”  
  
  
“Yeah,” Aiba agreed awkwardly, rubbing his hand along the back of his neck. “I’ll heat up some food then, I am almost sure he hasn’t eaten much if anything today,” Aiba said thoughtfully, missing the look of concern on Sho’s face. “Can you try waking him up?” Aiba said. Then added, “Er, be gentle though. Like really gentle.” Aiba scratched the back of his head, looking not entirely convinced by his plan. “Nino spooks easily, so please don’t scare him,” Aiba mumbled, but looked at Sho seriously.  
  
  
Sho wondered why Aiba was acting so strangely, but regardless, he returned the man's serious gaze and nodded. “Got it.”  
  
  
Aiba seemed happy with this and turned away to get some food, but just as he did, they both heard a car pull up outside. They heard the loud crash of a car door being slammed. Sho and Aiba turned to look at each other in confusion but a moment later, the door handle was being jerked violently against the lock that

was holding it shut.  
  
  
Sho felt his heart suddenly race as whoever it was started banging furiously on the door. Nino in his lap flinched at the noise so Sho instinctively pulled him closer, trying to shield his ears from the noise by placing a hand over his head protectively and pressing him close to his chest. Sho looked up at Aiba who was staring at the door like a deer caught in headlights.  
  
  
“Kazu!” Sho heard the person banging shout, and Nino tensed in his arms, fingers unconsciously clenching Sho’s shirt. The shout seemed to snap Aiba out of his daze and he suddenly made his way over to the door quickly. Sho watched in confusion as Aiba managed to click the door open.  
  
  
A furious tall man that Sho had never seen before burst through the door, eyes searching the store until they fell to where Sho was cradling Nino on the ground. The man made to a movement as if to rush at them but was held back by Aiba and another man that had appeared through the door.  
  
  
“Kazu! What happened! Kazu!” The man started yelling desperately towards Sho, who had yet to connect Kazu as Kazunari, therefore being Nino.  
  
  
“Jun please calm down,” The other man said quietly. Suddenly, Sho realised that this man who looked like he was going to murder him, was actually Nino’s brother. It was the name that he heard Nino repeat when ever he was on the phone.  
  
  
Sho looked down at Nino and then back at Jun but all that came out of his mouth was a feeble, “Uh.” He was completely baffled by the turn of events.  
  
  
“Let me explain please, everything is okay, I promise,” Aiba pleaded, trying desperately to reassure the panic stricken man.  
  
  
Jun then turned his gaze to Aiba who had spoken, breathing heavily. “Okay?” He repeated incredulously and then turned his attention back to Nino and Sho. “He doesn’t look okay to me!”  
  
  
“Try to keep your voice down,” The unknown man, who if Sho had to take a guess was probably Jun’s boyfriend, said calmly. “You don’t want to…” The man trailed off, looking curiously between Nino and Sho, “Make it worse,” He finished cryptically.  
  
  
These words did seem to somehow calm Jun down a little, or at least put a lid on the fireball of rage. “Who the the hell is he?” Jun asked Aiba, maybe realising that Sho was too stunned to give any decent explanation.  
  
  
“He is a cust-” Aiba started and then rephrased, “He is Nino-kun’s friend,” Aiba said rather firmly.  
  
  
The way Jun immediately parroted, “Friend?!” Sho a little insulted on Nino’s behalf.  
  
  
“Uh,” Was still all Sho could manage though, eyes wide with shock.  
  
  
Jun let out a huff of frustration “Just let go of me.” Jun struggled against the other’s grip.  
  
  
“Alright, but please let me explain” Aiba said, though he still seemed not completely convinced in letting him go.  
  
  
But then Jun’s boyfriend, Oh-something... was it? said, “Be gentle,” And then released the man from his grip.  
  
  
Sho tried to raise his hands in surrender towards Jun, but he soon realised that Nino had grasped his right arm with both hands. So Sho raised the other hand that had been covering Nino’s head as Jun swarmed down on them.  
  
  
“He is burning up!” Jun accused, looking between Aiba and Sho.  
  
  
Aiba started explaining the story of how Nino had insisted on working, had even admitted that he should have stopped him. He told the story through and prompted Sho to fill in the blanks of when he was upstairs, which Sho did somewhat shakily. Aiba then explained the reasons for not going to the hospital and that they had already come up with a plan right before Jun arrived.  
  
  
Somehow in the middle of the story, Jun had pulled Nino out of Sho’s arms and into his, but Nino had not let go of Sho’s arm, which made the position a little awkward. But Sho felt warmth on where Nino held him so he didn’t mind so much.  
  
  
Once Jun appeared satisfied with the story, he turned to Sho, eyes narrowing. “So you are Nino’s ‘friend’ then?”  
  
  
“Yeah,” Sho voice squeaked a little and he mentally slapped himself for sounding so weak.  
  
  
“He has never mentioned you before.” Sho felt a little hurt at this, but then realised that maybe Nino didn’t have a great relationship with his brother, he seemed to worry when they spoke on the phone in the evenings.  
  
  
“We only met a couple weeks ago,” Sho said, not sure if it was the right answer.  
  
  
Jun narrowed his eyes, staring intently at Sho and then surprisingly broke out into a big smile and exclaimed, “You! it’s you! I thought you looked familiar!”  
  
  
“What?!” Sho spluttered, not keeping up with the sudden mood change of the man beside him.  
  
  
By way of explanation, Jun pulled out his phone and fiddled for a bit before shoving the screen towards Sho . “You’re the one that fell asleep here!” Jun said excited, Sho looked down at the screen where he saw a photo of himself disheveled a few weeks back when he was sleeping on the counter. “I didn’t recognise you without the suit!” Jun said happily, which was a complete contrast to the man had been shouting shouting earlier.  
  
  
“He took a photo...” Sho said quietly, cheeks going beet red.  
  
  
“And a selfie,” Jun said giddily, swiping sideways to reveal a picture of Nino obnoxiously giving the peace sign next to a sleeping Sho.  
  
  
Sho put his free hand on his forehead to try and cover his face, “How embarrassing...”  
  
  
“We should probably focus on Nino for now,” The quiet voice of Jun’s boyfriend said, and moved to place a hand on Jun’s shoulder in a supportive gesture.  
  
  
This seemed to snap the serious back into the just giggling Jun. “Yes, we need to wake him up for starters.”  
  
  
“Uh, maybe we should let Nino’s friend go home first,” The man said gesturing to Sho awkwardly as if Sho was an unknown substance that should be treated with utmost caution.  
  
  
“Ah! yes,” Jun said bowing his head for a moment, Nino still on the ground between the two men. “Thank you very much for taking care of Kaz- ah, Nino-chan, we can take it from here.”  
  
  
“I don’t mind really,” Sho said slightly bewildered, not feeling at ease with the way the two men were talking. “I can stay and help if you need it,” Sho looked down at Nino, who was still clinging to his arm and felt reluctant to leave him.  
  
  
Jun’s boyfriend simply walked over to where he was sitting and reached out a hand to help Sho up. “We have already troubled you enough, it’s late, so you should probably head home,” He said in a quiet voice and smiled, but it rang insincere to Sho.  
  
  
Sho took a moment to look down at Nino, gently placing his free hand over Nino’s where he was still holding onto Sho’s arm, and slowly removed them. Sho could have been going mad but he could have sworn that he saw Nino grimace when he did, so he gave Nino’s hand a reassuring squeeze before letting go. He then finally accepted the hand offered to him and got to his feet.  
  
  
The two men bid Sho an awkward goodbye, and right as he was about to leave, Aiba called out, “Curry is on the house tomorrow night!” Smiling at Sho appreciatively.  
  
  
“I’ll see you tomorrow then”, He nodded at Aiba and then left. He wasn’t sure how he managed the drive back to his apartment without a problem because his brain was whirring the whole time. What the hell was up with Nino’s brother? He looked liked a maniac when he entered the restaurant so Sho felt like he was definitely missing something important.  
  
  
It was only when he got home and poured himself a stiff drink of whiskey that he decided to take a few steps back and rethink the situation. Sho considered that perhaps the reason Jun must have been so upset was probably due to the phone call. Nino had fainted in the middle of their phone call and Jun probably heard the crash and assumed the worst. He may have even thought Sho had attacked Nino, though this seemed a little too far fetched.  
  


But as much as he replayed the events from that night in his mind, it still was not adding up. It seemed like the root of the strange behavior was Nino, even though Sho thought he acted the most normal out of the odd bunch. But it seemed like everyone was walking on eggshells around him, even Aiba had been weary of waking him, and Sho guessed that that was the reason he was asked to leave. Was Nino just the worst morning person ever?  
  
  
Sho didn’t sleep very well that night since he was unable to stop replaying the strange events of the evening but there was one thing he was sure of and that was him definitely going to see Nino again tomorrow evening.  
  
  
-  
  
  
Nino woke to the feeling of someone stroking his hair, for a few wonderful moments he thought it was Sho. That was until he felt someone else shaking his shoulder gently, Ohno’s voice filling his ear. “Nino. You have to get up, Nino,” Was being mumbled in his direction. For an earth shattering moment, Nino did not know where he was, why was Ohno with him? But wasn’t Sho here just before? Did that mean Sho had seen him have a flashback?  
  
  
Nino felt a wave of nausea as he sat up quickly, surprising Ohno and Jun, and scrambled away from them. His body felt weak and as he discovered that he could not move very far at all, decided instead to curl in himself with one arm clenching at his stomach while the other clamped over his mouth.  
  
  
“Aiba! Do you have a bucket?!” Jun yelled. Nino heard Aiba upending a rubbish bin and rushing over to put it in front of Nino, who immediately retched into it. He hadn’t eaten anything much that day so he only felt the sharp burn of stomach acid coating his throat. When he couldn’t bring up anything more, he slumped down on the floor, head spinning and breathing heavily.  
  
  
He felt someone lift him up and press a cool glass into his hands, he opened his eyes to see Ohno, who still had a firm grip on the glass, start to move it towards Nino’s mouth. Nino took a few small sips, cringing at the feeling in his throat, before shaking head. “Did I…” His voice sounded ragged and torn. “Did I...” he repeated to himself before finding Jun and looking at him, “Did I?” he pleaded, voice breaking, hot tears burning down his cheeks.  
  
  
Jun reached out to him, grabbing one of Nino’s hands and holding it tightly. “Kazu please,” Jun started, voice cracking, “You just fainted.”  
  
  
“But why are you here?” He asked desperately. Looking around, he gazed at Aiba standing at the counter watching him sadly, and then to Ohno by his side, “I was with Sho…” He trailed off quietly.  
  
“You were on the phone with me remember,” Jun said slowly.  
  
  
Nino thought back to what he could remember, he did remember talking to his brother vaguely, but mostly he remembered Sho’s face when he desperately called his name. He also thought he could vaguely remember being held tightly in Sho’s strong arms, but he must have been imagining it. “Yeah, but I was with Sho-chan” He said in small voice.  
  
  
He saw Jun and Ohno exchanged questioning looks at his familiar form of address but Nino didn’t care, he just wanted to know what happened. A shiver ran up his body, he felt clammy and uncomfortable, but he tried to ignore it.  
  
  
“Your friend was here,” Ohno said quietly, “He left just before.”  
  
  
Nino couldn’t stop the hurt look that flashed over his face because for once in his life, he thought he had found someone he could just be normal with. But before he could dwell any longer in his thoughts, Aiba moved around to kneel beside him, reaching a hand to his shoulder. “He was really worried about you,” Aiba started with a kind smile, “He called me down and we made a plan to get you some food and off to bed.”  
  
  
That was not what Nino had expected to hear. “He was?” was all he could say.  
  
  
“Yeah,” Aiba grinned goofily, “He even offered to stay after Matsujun and Ohno-kun got here, he really wanted to make sure you were okay.”  
  
  
At that, Ohno cut in and said, “I asked him to leave, that is why he left.”  
  
  
Nino turned to look at Ohno in confusion, “Why?”  
  
  
“We didn’t know him,” It was Jun’s turn to cut in, “We didn’t know how well you knew him and we thought-” Jun paused trying to find the right words before Ohno finished for him.

 

  
“We thought you might not want him to see you panic, because you often do in times like this”   
  


The honest words stung him and he felt as if none of them trusted him. He shakily got to his feet before saying, “It’s you two that makes me panic! I thought I had done something terrible!” His voice high and shrill. He groaned in frustration, “Why can’t you just leave me alone!” He turned and made his way to the stairs. He stumbled a few times, but Aiba seemed to be trailing close behind, ready to catch him if he fell.  
  
  
When he got to his room, he slammed the door and walked straight over to his futon and flopped down with a thud. His entire body was shaking with exhaustion, causing shivers to run violently through him. He could vaguely hear people talking outside his room, but he could not make out anything in particular due to his head throbbing loudly.  
  
  
He wasn’t sure how much time had passed before he heard the squeak of his door being opened, he looked up to see Aiba awkwardly carrying a tray though the door. He moved through the cluttered room and placed the tray on the edge of his low table, having to push aside various items so he could get it stable. “I asked them to go home,” Aiba started awkwardly, “They just left.” Aiba looked unsure of his actions and asked, “Is that okay?”  
  
  
Nino nodded weakly and tried to give a small smile, “Thanks Aiba-chan.” Nino really was relieved, Aiba had always seemed to get how much Nino truly hated being treated like a helpless child, while still being someone he could rely on when he needed too.  
  
  
“I’m sorry about tonight,” Aiba said while placing a glass of water and some medicine beside Nino’s futon. “I shouldn’t have let you work, then none of this would have happened,” Aiba said guiltily.  
  
  
Nino propped himself up on one arm so he could take the medicine offered. “Don’t be silly Aiba-chan, I thought I would be okay but I wasn’t, don’t blame yourself.”  
  
  
Aiba made a small space next to Nino’s futon and placed the tray down after Nino made no movement to get up. “You really like Sho-kun, don’t you?”  
  


  
Nino pushed himself up so he was sitting with his legs crossed, and started picking lazily at the food offered. “It’s nice,” Nino said quietly.  
  
  
“Hmm?” Aiba made a curious noise.

  
  


“It’s nice to have someone normal to talk to,” Nino looked up at Aiba and then continued, “Who doesn’t treat me like something broken.”  
  
  
Aiba looked sad at Nino’s comment, “I’m-”  
  
  
“Don’t apologise. Please.” Nino said and went back to lazily picking at the food again. Then a thought struck him, “Sho-chan is probably not going to treat me like that anymore though,” Nino sighed, why did everything always turn out like this.  
  
  
But at this, Aiba shook his head furiously and spluttered, “No way! He really likes you and he said he would come back for dinner tomorrow evening!” Aiba said excitedly, but then thoughtfully added, “You will have to find a way to explain about psycho Jun-kun though because I think he freaked him out, a lot.”  
  
  
Nino groaned and fell back onto his futon, “How bad was he?” Nino was used to hearing stories of Jun’s intensity when Nino was out of it, but he really wasn’t looking forward to this one.  
  
  
“Bad.” Aiba said simply as if recalling the memory vividly. “I didn’t even know that you were on the phone when you fainted so it scared the crap out of Sho and I when he suddenly showed up and started banging at the door.”  
  
  
“Oh my god,” Nino said wearily, one hand rubbing his face, though the news was hardly surprising.  
  
  
“Yeah and when he got in, I almost thought he was going to have it out with Sho-kun since he looked furious, almost as if he thought Sho had hurt you or something.”  
  
  
“Poor Sho,” Nino whined. “There is no way he would want to see me again after that.”  
  
  
“No, but he said he would come back!” Aiba said happily.  
  


  
“He was probably just being polite,” Nino said sadly.  
  
  
“No way, he will definitely come back.” Aiba seemed content in his belief.  
  
  
“But there is still no way I can explain Jun,” Nino said gloomily.  
  
  
“Ah!” Aiba exclaimed excitedly, “I thought about that, couldn’t you just tell him that you were deathly ill as a child and so now when you get sick, your brother freaks out?”  
  
  
Nino thought for a moment, it was actually a pretty good story, “Maybe.”  
  
  
They ended up talking for a while until Nino dozed off and slept surprisingly well, considering the night he had.  
  
  
When he woke up in the morning, well the sun was up so Nino assumed it was morning, Aiba had left a bottle of water and a packet of sweet bread next to his futon. He took the water and searched around for his medicine, finding the pack and taking a few pills. When he picked up the bread and tearing the packet roughly open, he noticed his phone was flashing merrily away beside it, probably brought upstairs by Aiba last night.  
  
  
He flicked it open and saw that he had three unread messages, one from Jun, one from Aiba, and one from Sho. He thoughtfully chewed on the bread as he stared at the messages, choosing on which one to open first. He put the phone down for a moment to gulp down some more water but the raw feeling in his throat was making it difficult to swallow.  
  
  
He decided to open Jun’s message first, expecting an essay but all he had said was, ‘Sorry. Call me in the morning?’ Nino frowned at this, seeing the message was time stamped as being sent at 2:36 am. He could just imagine Jun lying awake at night trying to decide if he should message him or not.  
  
  
He tried to ignore the rising guilt by opening Aiba’s message. ‘There is hot food downstairs when you want it.’ Additionally Aiba added a little smiley emoji and three curry emojis at the end of the sentence.

 

  
Ignoring the message from Sho, he put his phone in his pocket, pulled on a hoodie and made his way downstairs. He found Aiba sitting at the counter of the closed restaurant, reading a magazine and drinking a steaming cup of tea.

  
  
“You’re not waiting for me down here are you?” The raspy congested sound of his voice surprising him a little as he spoke. He coughed a few times to try and clear it a little.  
  
  
“No, I am just enjoying the quiet atmosphere of my closed restaurant,” Aiba said happily and then asked, “You want some food?”  
  
  
Nino nodded, “I tried to eat that bread you left but my throat is killing me” Nino exaggerated. “Some soup or something I guess,” He said with a vague wave and sat down heavily at the counter beside Aiba.  
  
  
“Sounds about right,” Aiba got up to get Nino some food. “I thought you might be feeling that way so I made you some rice porridge, you shouldn't have any problems eating that,” Aiba said, placing a bowl of miso and then a bowl of rice porridge beside it on the counter before him.  
  
  
“Thanks,” Nino mumbled as he began to eat.  
  
  
“I called Toma-kun to work for you tonight, he said it was fine.”  
  
  
“Yeah, whatever,” Nino took out his phone again, hovering over the message from Sho. He took a few more bites of rice before opening the message.  
  
  
‘Hope you are feeling better today,’ punctuated by a smiley emoji. At least this message had been sent at a regular time, with the timestamp reading 7:16 am. Nino fondly imagined Sho sending the text over breakfast before work.  
  
  
“What are you smiling at?” Aiba asked, trying to peer over the counter at Nino’s phone.

  
  
“Nothing” He snapped his phone close and continued eating.  
  
  
\-   
  
  
Nino went back to his room and slept for most of the day, which wasn’t too uncomfortable with the aid of medicine and a full stomach. He woke up to his phone buzzing noisily in the afternoon with the caller ID telling him it was Jun, so he rolled over and went back to sleep, deciding to ignore the call.  
  
  
Jun called again in the evening but since he was still not really up to dealing with his brother at the moment, Nino just rolled over and let it ring out. Once the ringing stopped, he sighed and picked the phone up. As he was checking the call history, he was a little surprised to see that Jun had only called the two times he heard it go off, usually his brother would be much more insistent in contacting his brother. Just as he was staring at the screen, his text notification went off, signalling a message from Jun.  
  
  
‘Ohno and I are in the restaurant. Come eat with us.’ Was all it said. Nino groaned. When Jun was upset with him, it was never a very easy thing to resolve because Jun would hide his true feelings for his brother's sake. Nino knew that he had hurt him a lot last night with his words, but he did not have the energy to play the nice older brother just yet.  
  
  
His phone buzzed again. ‘I know you are alive, Aiba-chan said you came down this morning.’  
  
  
Barely a second later, a third message appeared. ‘We won’t wait forever.’  
  
  
This was Jun’s attempt to take the higher ground because he could easily get the key for Nino’s place off Aiba whenever he wanted, but he was trying to make Nino make the first move. But even after a day of sleep, Nino didn’t think he could deal with the hustle and bustle of the restaurant, let alone having to have a meal with his brother and Ohno.  
  
  
No new texts came after the last one and Nino just lay silent in his now dark room, the sun having set already. Feeling nothing, he didn't fall asleep but just let himself go numb, completely ignoring the sounds of outside.  


  
-  
  
  
As Sho parked his car outside the now familiar restaurant, he felt a lump in his throat as tension seemed to be coiling around in his stomach. Nino had not replied his message that morning, but he probably had been resting for most of the day. He took a deep breath and made his way out of the car, long purposeful strides leading him straight to the restaurant door.  
  
  
Sho was relieved when he found the restaurant filled with customers, all chatting away loudly. Aiba gave him a small wave and a smile when he entered so Sho made his way to his usual spot on the counter. Another man who wasn’t Nino was also rushing around serving customers and before Sho had even realised, he had placed a glass of water on the counter before him. He raised the glass slowly to take a sip when he felt someone tap on his shoulder. Somewhat to his horror, he found himself staring at the two people he had most definitely not wanted to see again so soon.  
  
  
Before Sho could come up with any sort of coherent words, they both bowed down low and Jun’s boyfriend said, “We want to apologise for our rude behavior last night.”  
  
  
“Um,” Sho stuttered, “There's really no need.”  
  
  
“We didn’t even introduce ourselves properly,” Jun scolded himself. “I’m Matsumoto Jun, Ninomiya-san’s younger brother,” He bowed slightly again.  
  
  
“I’m Jun’s partner,” The other man started. “Ohno Satoshi.”  
  
  


“I am very sorry about my behavior last night. I am a little overprotective of Kazu-Chan, but you probably didn’t even know he had a brother, it must have been very confusing for you.” Jun forced a tight smile.

 

  
“No I knew about you, he speaks of you frequently, I assure you!” Sho blurted out, but then added, “Not anything inappropriate but he speaks very fondly of you,” Sho tried to clarify. He had a habit of slipping into formal language when he was nervous, as he had done so that first time he met Nino.

 

  
Jun seemed taken aback at that remark and took a few moments before responding, “That’s nice of you to say.”  
  
  
“Ahh, how rude of me, I forgot to introduce myself. I’m Sakurai Sho, a friend of Ninomiya-san,” The words felt tingly on his tongue.  
  
  
Before any one of them could reply, Aiba called out from across the restaurant, “Sakurai-san, I’ve got a job for you!”  
  
  
The three of them turned to look a Aiba, “A job?” Sho said, confused.  
  
  
“You didn’t think I would give you free food that easily, did you?” Aiba laughed, “I am not as nice as Nino-kun.”  
  
  
“Uh,” Sho just looked at him expectantly, “What is it?”  
  
  
Aiba placed a tray on the counter in front of Sho, which contained two plates, one katsu curry and the other a cream stew as well as two steaming cups of tea. Sho looked at the tray, and then up at Aiba. “Take this upstairs to Nino-kun would you?” Aiba asked, though it didn’t appear that he was giving Sho much of a choice. “The curry is for you, of course.”  
  
  
“Um, I don’t know where his apartment is upstairs,” Sho said awkwardly, wondering why Aiba hadn’t asked one of the other two to do it instead.  
  
  
“First door on the left, you can’t miss it,” Aiba said happily, sliding the tray closer to Sho. “Hurry up! You don’t want it to get cold,” Aiba urged, and with that, Sho awkwardly picked up the tray and made his way to the stairs. Just as he started climbing, Aiba called out, “Make sure you knock! And tell him it's you!” Before rushing off to serve more customers.  


  
It took Nino a moment to realise that someone was knocking at his door, that was mostly due to the fact that no one would usually knock at his door, and no one would knock it quite so timidly. Nevertheless Nino made no effort on getting up and simply glared at the door as if silently demanding the person outside to leave him alone.  
  
  
It was only after about a minute when Nino heard another gentle knock but accompanied with the call of, “Nino-san? It’s er... Sho.” Nino sat upright at that, Sho was definitely the last person he expected. “Aiba-san sent me up with some food for you,” Sho explained.  
  
  
Nino then jumped out of bed and tripped on something hard he couldn’t quite see in the dark, falling instantly back down with a thud. “Just a moment,” Nino called out, wincing a little as he rubbed his sore behind.  
  
  
“Is everything okay?” Sho called out, a little surprised by the noises coming from within Nino’s apartment.  
  
  
“Yeah, all good,” Nino cringed slightly at the croaky sound of his voice as he stumbled across the room albeit a little more carefully than before, until he found the light switch. The clutter and general untidiness of his apartment seemed all the more unpleasant under the harsh fluorescent light but Nino did not really have it in him to care. He opened the door to find Sho, carrying a tray that appeared to be a set for two people and wearing a very awkward smile.  
  
  
“Nino-san,” Sho bowed a little and then got back up shaking his head. “Sorry to intrude, but…” He looked down at the tray of food, “Aiba kind of made me,” Sho finished sheepishly.  
  
  
“No it’s fine, I understand.” Sho looked relieved at that, as if he had been expecting Nino to turn him away. “Do you want to come in?” Nino asked looking between the tray of food, Sho and his apartment.  
  
  
“Sure,” Sho replied, still a little timid but at least now he was smiling.  
  
  
“Sorry about the mess,” Nino said as he quickly cleared out some space from around his small table and the surface so Sho could put the tray down. “I was sleeping for most of the day so I haven’t been down for dinner,” Nino tried to explain, feeling embarrassed at how pitiful he sounded. “Uh, I guess that’s probably why Aiba sent you up here, sorry,” He mumbled avoiding Sho’s eyes.  
  
  
“It’s fine really, I don’t mind.” Sho smiled as he set the tray down while both of them sat down at the small table. “How are you feeling?” Sho asked curiously.  
  
  
“Pretty terrible, but it's not so bad if I take my medicine and get some more sleep, hopefully it won’t last very long,” Nino said, then took a bite of his stew and made a humming sound of appreciation. Nino caught a glance of Sho smiling at him, before they both fell into a comfortable silence while they ate.  
  
  
After they had finished, they moved to the couch. It was a relatively small couch so they made do by sitting cross legged at each end, facing each other as they talked. For some reason it seemed like nothing had happened between them. They just talked like how they normally do after work everyday, except this time instead of sitting at the counter in the restaurant, they were curled up in Nino’s apartment. Nino felt so comfortable that it wasn’t until he felt a hand shaking his shoulder gently, that he realised that the warm feeling that had spread throughout his body was because he had nodded off and not only because of the happiness he felt.  
  
  
He opened his eyes lazily to see Sho smiling gently at him, “How about you go back to bed? It will probably make you feel better.”  
  
  
Nino nodded, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to.”  
  
  
“Don’t worry about it.” Sho offered Nino a hand to help him off the couch and down onto the futon below, which Nino gladly accepted since the stiffness in his muscles felt more obvious after sitting on the couch. “You might want to take some more medicine to help you sleep.”  
  
  
He nodded and reached for the packet that was lying beside his futon, taking a few pills and washing them down with a quick gulp of water. He laid down on his back and was happy to see that Sho didn’t seem to be making any effort to leave, instead, he stretched his legs out on the couch. Nino closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Hey Sho-chan,” he said quietly.

  
  
Sho turned his head to look at Nino, “Hmmm?” he replied.   
  
  


“I’m sorry,” Nino started, “About last night I mean, Aiba told me a little about what happened after I fainted.” Nino opened his eyes and glanced over at Sho, who had stretched out some more, putting his feet up on the end of the couch and placing both hands behind his head.  
  
  
“You were sick, that’s all, there is no need to apologise,” Sho seemed pretty resolute in that fact. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”  
  
  
Nino couldn’t help but smile at his words, which was a little strange because usually Nino hated being worried about. But it felt nice to have someone worry about him just because he had a cold, and not because they were scared he was going to break down at any given moment. And he kind of liked the idea of Sho caring for him.   
  
  
“Thanks, I really appreciate it.”  
  
  
“Just don’t push yourself too hard, then it won’t happen again,” Sho said, turning his head to smile happily at Nino.  
  
  
“I won’t,” Nino sighed again. “But what I really meant was, I am sorry about J,” Nino said nervously.  
  
  
“Oh,” Sho said as he looked up at ceiling, “I guess that was a little strange.”  
  
  
“Yeah…” Nino agreed awkwardly.  
  
  
“But I don’t have any siblings so I thought that it was normal to act like that, and he was just worried about you, it was sweet,” Sho rambled on for a bit, trying to come up with a reasonable explanation.  
  
  
“It’s not and you know it,” Nino mumbled grumpily. “There’s a reason he acts like that, you know, like how he calls me all the time and stuff.”  
  
  
Sho rolled over on the couch so he was facing Nino more directly, hand propping his head up, “It’s okay, it’s none my business anyways.” Sho smiled, trying to make Nino feel more at ease.  
  
  
“No, I want to tell you,” Nino said firmly, “It wouldn’t be fair on you if I didn’t at least explain a little.” Sho just looked at him expectantly so Nino closed his eyes and continued, “When I was a kid,” Nino started, swallowing loudly, it was hard to admit even with this highly censored version of his past to Sho, “I was ill.”  
  
  
Nino rubbed his eyes and scrunched up his face as he tried to figure out a way to explain it, “Ill?” Sho prompted, but Nino could hear the concern in his voice.  
  
  
“Uh, yeah, it was pretty bad, and I had to go to the hospital a few times,” Nino cringed at the memories that had started to flood his mind. He rolled over so he was facing away from Sho and covered his face as he felt ashamed at his weakness.  
  
  
He heard some shuffling behind him, the floor creaking as Sho knelt beside him, and felt a hand softly resting on his arm. “Nino,” Sho’s voice sounded hurt.  
  
  
Sho’s presence was oddly calming that Nino drew his hands away from his face and took another steadying breath before saying, “It’s fine, I just don’t talk about it very much. I really hated being in the hospital.” Nino looked over his shoulder and gave Sho a reassuring smile.  
  
  
“Aiba mentioned that you didn’t…” Sho trailed off a little and Nino gave him a questioning glance. “I thought we should take you there last night but he said you wouldn’t like it,” Sho said absently, as if replaying the conversation in his head as he said it.  
  
  
“I’m glad you didn’t,” Nino said, “Like, I seriously hate it,” Nino said rolling back onto his back to face Sho better. “But Jun was very young when it all happened, and for a few times, he was the one that found me when I was... unwell.”  
  
  
“So that’s why…” Sho trailed off again, as if connecting the dots in his mind.  
  
  
“I’m older than him, but because of what happened, I guess he has always felt the need to protect me.”  
  
  
“And that’s why he was so upset last night,” Sho realised.  
  
  
“Yeah, he always stresses out whenever I’m even a little unwell. He is probably scared that something bad will happen to me, like it used to,” Nino explained quietly.  
  
  
Sho kept quiet for a few minutes, needing a moment to process what he had heard. “But,” Sho said suddenly after a while, “You are okay now, right? I mean, you’re are not sick anymore, right?”  
  
  
Nino looked into Sho’s eyes for a while and saw worry swirling behind those dark brown eyes. “It’s okay,” Nino smiled, “I’m fine now.” It may not be entirely accurate, but being with Sho like this made him believe it might be possible.  
  
  
It felt like there was nothing left to say after that, but the silence was not awkward. Eventually, Sho seemed tired of sitting and stretched out on the floor beside Nino’s futon, he laid on his side facing Nino with his head propped against one arm, using it as a pillow. Nino rolled to his side so he was facing Sho and the both of them smiled. After a while, a comfortable stillness washed over him as he drifted to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took longer than expected to post because I just moved house, sorry for the wait! As always thanks to my beta reader indigo-lover@livejournal who always does a great job!

Aiba, Ohno and Jun were all sitting in the closed restaurant with beers in hand, each of them in silent contemplation. It had been a few hours since Aiba had sent Sho upstairs to bring Nino his dinner, and they hadn’t heard from either of them since. “They are probably just talking,” Aiba said thoughtfully, “It’s what they usually do after work, sometimes for hours and they don’t even notice.”  
  
  
“How did I not know about this,” Jun said frustratedly. “I mean they are probably dating for all I know.”  
  
  
“They aren’t dating, believe me,” Aiba brushed off. “I think they are both too daft to realise they like each other.”  
  
  
“I didn’t even know Kazu was into guys,” Jun grumbled. “I mean he could have told me, it’s obvious I wouldn’t judge.”  
  
  
“I don’t think it’s that,” Aiba said calmly. “I don’t think he has ever let himself be into anyone,” He finished quietly.  
  
  
They all sat in silence at that comment, knowing the words to be true. If one thing was apparent to those around Nino, it was how little he valued himself, which had him convinced that he was bad for people.  
  
  
After a few moments, Ohno said quietly, “I think Nino used to have a crush on me in school.”   
  
  
“What?!” Jun said in a high pitched tone, “No way, I would have noticed.”  
  
  
“Well, he never confessed or anything, but for a while there, he acted... differently around me.”   
  
  
“Was it before I knew you?” Jun asked, then quickly added, “Wait, different how?”  
  
  


“Yeah, it was around the time I first started hanging out with him. He used to be happier, I guess, but more nervous too.”  
  
  
“Are you sure it wasn’t just because you were his senior and he looked up to you?” Aiba asked.  
  
  
“Well he used to sort of daydream and stuff, but after the first couple of times he had flashbacks around me, it was like his guards went up and he stopped being as honest with me.” Ohno sighed and took a long sip of beer.  
  
  
“Do you think it bothered him when we got together?” Jun asked guiltily.  
  
  
Ohno thought for a moment. “We never really talked about it…” He trailed off.  
  
  
“I think he is happy that you are both happy,” Aiba said. “And plus, he really has never let himself get too close to anyone, so I really don’t think it's worth dwelling on something that could have happened in the past.”  
  
  
“This is why I am super confused about this Sakurai-san situation.” Jun pouted, “Like, I am happy that he has a friend, but how did it even happen?”  
  
  
“It was that time a few weeks back when he fell asleep in the restaurant and they both started to chat,” Aiba started to explain. “I think Nino just thought he was funny at first, but then Sakurai-san just kept coming back and they both started making excuses to spend more time together.”  


  
Ohno smiled, “It’s nice to hear that about Nino.”  
  
  
They all sat there finishing their beers lazily, each lost in their own thoughts. They spent a good portion of their lives worrying about Nino, so they all took a moment to adjust to the new information. Eventually, after Jun had finished his beer, he looked at his watch and announced, “This is ridiculous, I’m going up there,” And rose to his feet.  
  
  


Ohno and Aiba shot each other a quick look before downing their beers and following the younger man up the stairs. “Don’t knock too loudly, I’ve got the key if we need it, remember,” Aiba called after Jun as they reached the hallway.   
  


  
The first thing Jun did was press his ear against the door, “I don’t hear any voices,” he said frowning.  
  
  
“Maybe they fell asleep?” Aiba wondered.  
  
  
“Oh god, what if they had-” Jun started scandalized before Ohno cut him off.  
  
  
“As if they would, Nino is sick remember,” Aiba hushed him.  
  
  
They all looked at each other sternly for a moment before Aiba sighed and pulled out his keys. They creaked the door open quietly and Jun poked his head in. He could see what looked like the two of them sleeping next to each other with Nino tucked up under blankets on the futon while Sho was sleeping awkwardly on the floor next to him.  
  
  
“Oh my god,” Jun said quietly, and the other two tried to get a glimpse inside. They each moved inside the apartment slowly and careful as not to make too much noise. Jun hopped on the couch so he could get a better look at them. “They are both fast asleep,” He said amused.  
  
  
“That’s kind of adorable, actually,” Ohno said quietly from behind Jun.  
  
  
“Isn’t it though,” Jun agreed. “I have to document this,” He said cheekily. Pulling out his phone and taking a few pictures, but not before turning off the flash and shutter sound. Not only were they sleeping side by side, but they were both sleeping facing towards each other with one of Nino’s arms poking out of the blanket and gently holding Sho’s wrist.  
  
  
“We should probably wake Sakurai-san. I am pretty sure he has work tomorrow,” Aiba said quietly as the three of them look down at Sho who was still wearing his suit, which was now crinkled all over.  
  
  


“Yeah, we should try not to wake Nino though,” Jun said, moving around to the other side of Nino’s futon where he lay a hand on his forehead gently. “He still has a bit of a fever.”  
  
  
They nodded, and Aiba moved over to where Sho was sleeping and gently shook his shoulder. “Sakurai-san,” Aiba called out quietly, “Sakurai-san.”  
  
  
It didn’t take very long for Sho to stir as he brought a hand up to his face and rubbed his eyes lazily. He propped himself up on one arm, “Sorry,” He said, stifling a yawn sleepily. “I guess I fell asleep.”  
  
  
“It seems to be a habit of yours.” Aiba smiled, then saw as Sho realised Ohno and Jun were also in the room, a slight pinkness appearing on his cheeks. “It’s late though, you should probably be heading off.”  
  
  
“Ah, of course,” He pulled himself clumsily to his feet, offering each of them a small bow, before hurrying towards the door.  
  
  
“Sakurai-san,” Jun called softly before he left, “Thank you.”  
  
  
Sho blushed a little more, bowed again and mumbled something that sounded like, “No problem,” Before swiftly exiting.  
  
  
“Do you guys wanna stay here tonight?” Aiba asked, “It might be easier.”

  
  
Jun thought for a moment, before turning to Ohno, “It would be fine for me because I have a late start tomorrow, do you mind going to work from here?”  
  
  
“Yeah that’s fine.” Ohno agreed.  
  
  
They ended up settling down in Nino’s room, with Ohno taking the couch, and Jun snuggling up on the futon next to his brother.   
  
  
-  
  
  
Nino slept well that night with the warm feeling of being with Sho lingering. His mind relayed fleeting images of Sho, from the times they chatted, to the time they got cake together, and to that very night both of them curled up on Nino’s couch. He could almost feel his warmth still near him, like a constant source of comfort.  
  
  
After a while though, the warmth started to feel suffocating and he felt a heaviness on his side as if someone was holding him down and he could feel panic rising in him. He struggled to breathe, feeling the ghost of hands on his neck squeezing the life out of him and when he looked down at his hands, he saw that they were covered in blood.  
  
  
Nino jolted awake, only to feel trapped. He felt as if something was weighing him down, he panicked and ripped himself out of bed, scrambling across the room. He stopped when he hit what felt like a wall, terrified, he jammed his fingers in his mouth and bit down to try and stop himself making a sound. He heard some shuffling from the other side of the room, but unable to see in the darkness, he drew his knees up and hid his face, trying to become invisible.  
  
  
He heard a click and then footsteps heading towards him, he couldn’t help but let out a whimper as his heart beat agonizingly fast.  
  
  
“Nino, it’s only me,” The voice said quietly as Nino felt a gentle hand tug at his arm so his face was no longer hidden. “We are in your apartment, Jun is over on the futon, and I am right here.”  
  
  
Nino looked slowly up at Ohno, who must have turned the lamp on as he was bathed in a soft yellow light. “Oh-chan,” He tried to say, his voice was so soft he could barely hear himself.  
  
  
Over Ohno’s shoulder, he saw some movement, then a croaky voice saying, “Kazu-chan?”  
  
  
Ohno then wrapped his arms around Nino in a gentle embrace to calm Nino down. He fisted his hands in Ohno’s shirt and pressed his forehead against Ohno’s stomach, trying to curl in on himself. It was starting to become clear that the feeling he had felt was probably just his brother sleeping next to him. Who he imagined was now looking sadly at Nino’s shaking form.  
He wasn’t sure when Jun had moved over to them, but the next thing he felt was a hand on his forehead. “He’s burning up.” Nino heard, but he couldn't move with his breathing rapid and his heart beating so loudly.  
  
  


He stayed exactly where he was until he heard, “You’ll have to lift him up so he can take this.” The crinkling of the medicine packet in Juns hands could be heard as he opened it. Nino felt Ohno’s hands move from where they were soothingly stroking his back to his shoulders, gripping firmly.  
  
  
Nino’s heart began to pound more loudly in his chest as he felt Ohno push against him gently, trying to lift him up. He tightened his grip on Ohno’s shirt and started shaking his head. “No.” Was all he could say as he felt the hot burn of tears roll down his cheeks.  
  
  
He felt the others still around him and he bit his lip, trying desperately not to let the sobs escape. “Kazu please, just for a moment.” He heard Jun pleading, but there was a burning pressure inside him that he couldn’t escape and he felt his body trembling all over.  
  
  
Suddenly the pressure in his body was gone, replaced sharply with a sick feeling of dread as he tasted blood in his mouth. Hot and metallic, it filled his senses and his head started spinning as he felt himself let go of Ohno, and curl in on himself.  
  
  
“Kazu?” Jun asked quietly. But Nino reached out a hand to push Jun away, before reaching under the hem of his shirt to try and take it off. It was sticky with sweat but Nino could not think of another way.  
  
  
He felt Ohno try and stop him, “Nino, you should leave it on, I know you are hot.” But Nino battered his hands away and then struggled to rip his shirt off. Once he had freed himself from it, he shoved it messily against his face and began to cough violently. He felt weak and when he was unable to sit any longer, he let himself fall onto his side, but was quickly caught by Ohno before he could hit the floor.  
  
  
He opened his eyes and saw Jun reaching to grab the shirt from him with eyes terrified. Nino pushed away from him as quickly as he could and tried to say. “No! Please Jun, you can’t!” muffled through the shirt.  
  
  
Ohno then seemed to realise what was happening and he held Nino tightly, tears still rushing down his face before firmly asking, “Are you bleeding?”  
  
  
Nino nodded, unable to stop the wracking sobs now as he looked at his brother, who now was also crying. “Please,” he begged quietly, though not entirely sure what for.  
  
  
“Jun, you have to look away,” Ohno said firmly. Jun didn’t get flashbacks like Nino, but since that time, blood had always made him faint, just like he had when he had found Nino all those years ago.  
  
  
“I’m so sorry, Kazu,” Jun sobbed, tears running down his cheeks and Nino shook his head, wishing Jun would not blame himself. Nino reached out to his brother with his free hand and Jun clasped it tightly in his own then turning so he was facing away from them both, giving Nino’s hand a reassuring squeeze.  
  


 

The tension in his body started draining away, but he also felt weak, as if his body had just used up all its strength and now there was nothing left in him. He felt himself trembling as he lay over Ohno, who was already supporting him. He tried as hard as he could to keep the shirt pressed against his bloody mouth, but when he felt Ohno’s hand gently pull it away, he did not resist. “I’m sorry,” He whispered, eyes closed but tears still flowing freely.  
  
  
Ohno didn’t acknowledge Nino’s comment, instead he gently opened Nino’s mouth to find the spot where he was bleeding. “You just bit your lip, didn’t you?” Ohno asked calmly and Nino nodded feebly. “Well I can’t stop it bleeding because it’s in your mouth so you are going to have to wait until it stops on its own.” Ohno dabbed the shirt against his face where he bled while he had been checking his mouth.  
  
  
“I’m sorry,” Nino repeated, staring off into space. He was starting to feel numb and he embraced the feeling, being emotionless was much easier than feeling.  
  
  
Ohno wanted to ask Jun to get something, but the youngest man was still cradling Nino’s hand and crying silently, so instead he asked, “Jun, can you stay here while I get some first aid supplies?”  
  
  
“Okay,” Came Jun’s reply almost immediately, though he didn’t turn to look at either of them.  
  
  
Ohno seemed apprehensive. “You shouldn’t look okay?”  
  


  
“I know,” Jun said sadly.  
  
  
Nino then felt the hand holding the shirt against his face, then his free arm was being pulled gently up to his mouth. “Nino you are going to have to hold this.” Nino nodded but his fingers made no effort to tighten around the balled up fabric. “Please,” A small amount of desperation creeping into his voice. “If you don’t hold it tight, the bleeding won’t stop quickly.”  
  
  
Nino nodded slowly, and tried to press it to his mouth, Ohno sighed and he knew he wasn’t doing a very good job. But Ohno got up slowly and hastily made his way out of the room. A moment after he left, Nino felt his hand go limp and drop onto the floor, the shirt dropping along with it.  
  
  
“Kazu?” He heard Jun ask quietly.  
  
  
“I’m sorry,” was all he could get out, in barely a whisper. It only felt like a few moments before Ohno returned, but he couldn’t say for sure as he only had a loose grasp on consciousness. Blinking slowly, he could see that Ohno was speaking, but he could not make out a single word. In the end, he closed his eyes, unable to stay awake any longer.  
  
  
-  
  
  
Only when he felt the sun stinging his eyes did Nino wake again and he felt sore all over as if he had just run a marathon. He blearily blinked his eyes open and looked around his flat, spotting Ohno and Jun curled up on Nino’s tiny couch together. Nino brushed a hand tentatively over his lip and then winced at the soreness, confirming in his mind a vague memory of being awake last night. He quickly pushed the thoughts out of his mind as he had no desire to relive those events.  
  
  
He shuffled in his futon and fumbled around for his water bottle, his throat felt unbearably dry. As he gulped it down, the water stung his throat and he coughed sharply, sputtering a little. There was some shuffling from the couch, Nino winced and closed his eyes in a vague attempt to pretend to be asleep, but he heard the unmistakable creak of his floor as someone shifted towards him.  
  
  


“Nino?” Ohno whispered.   
  


  
Nino blearily looked up at Ohno, “Oh-chan.” Nino winced again at the feeble cracked sound of his voice, but before he could say anything else, Ohno had reached over to his forehead and peeled of a cooling strip. They must have put it on him last night, but Nino could not really remember any details, just that his brother was crying and all he could taste was blood.  
  
  
Ohno made a concerned sound as placed his hand on Nino’s forehead, “You still have a high fever…” He mumbled, seemingly lost in thought for a moment. “I’ll get you some more medicine.”  
  
  
Ohno left for a few moments before placing the packet next to the futon with a fresh bottle of water. It wasn’t until Nino tried to pull himself up that he realised he had very little strength, a heaviness in his limbs weighing him down. He looked from the medicine to Ohno’s expectant face and then thought about how painful it had been to swallow just the water earlier, before saying, “I don’t need it,” His voice croaky.  
  
  
Ohno’s face fell instantly, so Nino added, “I feel much better already.” Even though his lie was extremely obvious.  
  
  
“This is bad,” Ohno said, voice serious. “Do you understand? You are really unwell.” Ohno turned his wrist to glance at his watch. “I’ll have to take you to the hospital at this rate.”  
  
  
“No!” Nino pushed himself up sharply, feeling his heartbeat quicken. “I’m sorry, I was just being silly.” Nino reached out one hand to pick up the medicine but his supporting arm wobbled and gave out almost instantly, his face colliding with the floor.  
  
  
“Shit!” Ohno cursed, and reached out to pull him up.  
  
  
It felt as if all the air had been knocked out of his lungs as he gulped air rapidly and causing him to cough painfully. “I’m sorry,” He wheezed, unable to think of anything else.  


  
“Shh,” Ohno hushed gently as he supported Nino’s weight, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.” He rubbed a hand in circles on Nino’s back and added, “I wasn’t thinking.”  
  
  
Nino focused on his breathing and calmed himself down. “I need to sit up,” he whispered dryly, “To take the medicine.” He explained.  
  
  
“Oh,” Ohno started, “Go ahead then.” He clearly didn’t understand.  
  
  
“But I can’t.” It was hard for Nino to explain as his head felt fuzzy. He just sighed and let his weight give, Ohno holding him tightly.  
  
  
“We should pull him onto the couch.” Nino heard Jun say behind him, who had just woken up since his voice had a scratchy quality to it. “He won’t be able to eat or drink easily if he is in bed.”  
  
  
“Oh, I see,” Ohno said, then Nino felt his arms tighten around him, and before he could even say anything, Ohno had pulled him up onto the couch in a sitting position.  
  
  
Jun placed a hand on Nino’s forehead and then let out a sigh before picking up the medicine packet, popping a couple pills and putting them gently in Nino’s hand. Nino took them without hesitation, washing the them down with some water Jun offered and then turned to Ohno. “What time is it?” he asked wearily.  
  
  
Ohno pulled his phone out of his pocket. “Six fifteen,” He replied.  
  
  
“The Doctor's won't be open till eight.” Jun said, assessing the available options.  
  
  
Ohno ruffled his hair slightly and then said quietly, “I thought maybe we should go to the hospital.” He sounded pained, knowing this was not what Nino wanted to hear.  
  
  
Nino let his head fall back and closed his eyes, he didn’t even have the strength to protest. But then Jun said quickly, “No, we don’t need to do that.”  
  
  
“He is in a really bad shape though, Jun. I mean, we probably should have taken him last night,” Ohno said, clearly concerned.  
  
  
“If we go to hospital now, they will probably make us wait until after eight anyway so there is no point,” Jun said, sounding a little agitated. While Jun did not have the same fear of hospitals as Nino did he was not entirely comfortable with them either.  
  
  
“I’m just…” Nino started weakly,  “Worn out.” He wished that he could think of something that didn’t sound so pitiful.  
  
  
“It’s okay,” Jun tried to reassure him softly. “You are sick, it's understandable.” Jun started talking to Ohno but Nino let the words wash over him, not taking anything in until he felt his world go dark again.  
  
  
-  
  
  
He didn’t wake again until after eleven, Jun who was watching Nino’s tiny TV explained that he had taken the day off work and that once Nino had eaten, he would take him to the doctors. He felt dazed, but his strength had returned a little so he did not protest the plan. He hated being looked after by anyone, especially when it was Jun. It had been like this many times before, Nino was always the weak one, the broken one.  
  
  
It was hard to chase away the dark thoughts at times like this, the voices telling him how useless he was and how much of a burden he was to those around him. If only he could simply disappear, everything would be easier.

  
  
The afternoon was relatively relaxed as Nino slept most of the way to the doctors, where it was decided that Nino did have quite a serious strain of flu. The Doctor they went to was the same Doctor they had seen since their high school days, back when Nino first started having flashbacks. The appointment went relatively smoothly until the Doctor said, “I have not seen either of you for a while.” It would have been a little over a year, Nino thought. “Aside from the flu, how are you doing?”   


 

Nino knew what he was asking, so he quickly said, “I’ve been fine.” But he noticed Jun’s skeptical look.  
  
  
“Me too,” Jun added.  
  
  
The Doctor flipped through his notes and started, “Last time I saw you Ninomiya-san, it seems you were having trouble with disrupted sleep…” He said, trailing off as he read the file intently. He looked up at Nino with a gentle smile and asked, “Are they still troubling you at all?”  
  
  
“No, it’s fine.” Nino wished he couldn’t see the way Jun was looking at him skeptically, he wished Jun wasn’t there at all.  
  
  
“Oh that’s good then, I just noticed that we had been discussing medication but you never returned for a follow up.” Nino cringed at these words. Yes, he had indeed decided to ignore the problem, and he now really wished Jun wasn’t hearing this.  
  
  
“Ahh yes well…” Nino really wished that he didn't have to think about this right now. “They stopped bothering me so I didn’t see the point,” Nino said flatly.

  
  
The doctor just made a thoughtful “Hmm,” sound as his eyes flicked back to the file. “How are you with the panic attacks? Any trouble lately?”  
  
  
As much as Nino knew the doctor was just trying to get the most out of one of the rare times they met, Nino couldn’t help but get agitated at the constant questions. “Look, I feel like crap so if we are done here, can I just get a prescription for some decent medicine so I can go home already,” He snapped, and he saw Jun flinch slightly.  
  
  
“Ahh, I am very sorry Ninomiya-san. It had just been a while so I wanted to get an update on how you were going, but I won’t keep you any longer.”  
  
  
“Sorry, we are a both a little exhausted,” Jun said apologetically.  
  
  
“That’s totally understandable.” The Doctor smiled, “But I would really like to see you both for a follow up when everything has settled down again.” He printed off a prescription and passed it to Nino, who snatched it immediately and then stormed out of the room.  
  
  
From the hallway, he heard Jun apologizing and thanking the doctor before running after Nino. But before Jun could scold him for his behavior, Nino shoved his wallet into his brother's hands and said, “Can you sort it out at the desk, I’m going to wait in the car.”  
  
  
“Kazu! Wait!” He heard his brother call, but he did not turn around as he just stormed out into the cool autumn air. It was only when he found his way to his brothers car that he realised he didn’t have the keys, so he just slumped down grumpily beside the passenger door, cursing under his breath.  
  
  
It was probably only a minute or two later that Jun appeared, he was out of breath and looking panicked. He knelt down beside Nino, eyes searching his brothers face, “What’s wrong Kazu-chan?”  
  
  
“The car is locked,” Nino said flatly.  
  
  
Jun’s face fell, “Oh.” He fumbled in his bag and pulled out the keys, unlocking the car and helping Nino up. Once they had both got in, Jun rested his forehead on the steering wheel and Nino noticed him taking shaky breaths as he tried to calm himself down.  
  
  
“J?” Nino asked quietly, but Jun did not react, “J? Are you okay?” Still nothing. Nino reached out a hand timidly and touched his brother's shoulder. “I’m sorry.”  
  
  
At this, Jun pulled himself up, wiped his hands over his face quickly and then said, “Right, let’s stop by the pharmacy and then head home.” He started the engine and exited the hospital parking lot.  
  
  
“I’m sorry, J.” Nino repeated but his brother didn’t react, his eyes fixed on the road.  
  
  
To poorly mask his frustration with Nino, Jun spent the rest of the afternoon in hyper caring mode of making sure Nino took his medicine, cleaning up the apartment and asking every 5 minutes if Nino was okay or needed anything. About half an hour after getting home, Nino gave up on trying to communicate with Jun and grumpily announced that he was going to sleep. That 

seemed to calm Jun at least, who stopped moving around the apartment and sat quietly on the couch beside Nino’s futon.  
  
  
\-   
  
  
When Nino woke again, it was to the sound of hushed voices talking around him. He opened his eyes slowly and realized that it must be night already, because the room was lit by his small fluorescent lamp. He felt calm, and he closed his eyes again, content on listening to the voices chatting around him. The new medicine he had taken seemed to have worked wonders because the soreness he had been feeling over the last few days had gone.  
  
  
He smiled to himself and then heard his brother ask, “So what do you do for a living?”  
  
  
“I work in urban planning, I just recently moved here for a job with the local council,” He heard a familiar voice reply.  
  
  
“Oh nice, are you enjoying it?” His brother asked.  
  
  
“Yeah, well, It was a bit hard at the start since I didn’t know anyone around here and it was pretty lonely, but Nino-kun has been really kind to me so it got a bit easier to get settled in,” Sho said. Nino was confused since it was definitely Sho’s voice he heard.  
  
  
“I’m glad you two are getting along.” Nino opened his eyes again and saw his brother smiling as he spoke, “He can be a bit harsh and most people just think he is mean spirited but he is really-”  
  
  
“Sho-chan?” Nino interrupted quietly, his voice faint from sleep and sickness.   
  
  
“Oh shit Kazu! Did we wake you?” Jun asked then hopped off the couch to kneel next to Nino, placing a hand on his forehead. “What a relief! Your temperature is pretty normal now.”  
  
  
Nino batted Jun’s hand away and looked over at Sho, who seemed frozen in place, mouth slightly open. “Why?” Was all Nino could manage.  
  
  
“Ahh, yes,” Jun smiled. “Sakurai-san came in for dinner so invited him up to see you,” Jun explained. “I didn’t realize you were still sleeping though, I hope you don’t mind.”  
  
  
Sho seemed to snap out of his daze, “I’m so sorry for intruding Ninomiya-san, it was rude of me, I should probably lea-”  
  
  
“It’s fine,” Nino cut in firmly before adding, “Really. I don’t mind, I was just surprised.” Nino sat up slowly, stretching his joints before sitting cross legged on his futon. Sho gave him a timid smile, which Nino returned, still aware of Jun’s presence behind him.  
  
  
“How are you feeling?” Jun asked, resting a supportive hand on his back.  
  
  
“Heaps better,” Nino smiled. “Sorry about earlier,” He added quickly.  
  
  
“It’s fine, everyone gets grumpy when they are sick,” Jun said, and Nino could tell he had forgiven him. “I’ll go down and get you both some dinner since I distracted Sakurai-san,” Jun said a little guiltily.  
  
  
Before either of them could protest, Jun had quickly sped out the door. Nino then looked over at Sho who raised his hand in a little wave and said, “Hi.”  
  
  
Nino smiled and laughed a little, before replying “Hi.”  
  
  
“How are you feeling? Matsumoto-san said you got a little worse?” Sho asked, scooting along the couch so he was closer to where Nino was sitting.  
  
  
“Yeah, but I went to the Doctors today and got some decent medicine, so I feel much better now,” Nino assured him.  
  
  
But Sho seemed to frown at this, then mumbled, “I should have taken you to the doctors when you fainted the other night.”   
  
  
“Don’t be silly, I should have gone earlier than this but I always put things off, that is just how I am.” Nino rubbed the back of his head awkwardly, then slowly pulled himself onto the couch beside Sho. “Thank you,” he said quietly, avoiding Sho’s eyes. “For visiting me.”  
  
  
“Thank you for letting me,” Sho replied happily. “I look forward to coming here, working is more enjoyable when I know I can come here and eat delicious curry and talk to you in the evenings.”  
  
  
“You are strange Sho-kun,” Nino smiled.  
  
  
“Hey! I was just being honest,” Sho pouted. “Oh! I just remembered!” Sho announced suddenly, pulling his bag towards him. He reached inside, then paused and turned to Nino. “Do you have a sore throat?”  
  
  
“Umm yeah I do,” Nino replied, slightly taken aback.  
  
  
Sho pulled out a small thermos from his bag and nervously handed it to Nino, “I’m not sure if you will like it, but I drink it every time I get sick and it always makes me feel better.”  
  
  
Nino ran his hands gently over the smooth warm metal, “What is it?” He asked curiously.  
  
  
“Oh yeah, sorry, It’s just lemongrass and ginger tea with honey.” He looked awkward as Nino uncapped the the lid and sniffed the drink. “It might not be to your taste though, on second thought, maybe I shouldn’t have...”  
  
  
Nino smiled appreciatively, Sho was oddly adorable when he was nervous like this. “No, I appreciate it, really,  thank you.” He poured a small amount into the thermos cup and then drank. “Oh it’s really good!”  
  
  
“Really? You’re not just being polite?” Sho asked shyly.  
  
  
“Of course not, it’s really nice on my throat,” Nino emphasized this by putting a hand on his throat. “Thank you so much, really.”  
  


  
“Ahh I’m glad you like it,” Sho sighed happily. “It’s also good because the ginger helps if you get nauseous.”  
  
  
“Oh, well that’s handy,” Nino nodded.  
  
  
They smiled at each other, then as Nino asked him about his day, they fell back into into their usual evening conversations with Sho doing most of the talking and Nino content on listening. After a few minutes, Jun returned with Ohno trailing behind him, each carrying a tray stacked with food.  
  
  
“I thought it would be nice if we all had dinner together,” Jun announced happily. Jun moving to place a tray beside Sho and Ohno mirroring the action beside Nino.  
  
  
“Really J?” Nino groaned unhappily, somewhat annoyed that they had been interrupted.  
  
  
Ohno elbowed Nino sharply and then whispered sharply, “Just let him have this one, I know how much of an arse you were today.”  
  
  
Nino jabbed him and then whispered back, “Don’t think I don’t realise what you are up to.” Nino flicked his eyes to Sho.  
  
  
“Well you were the one who hid it from us, of course we are curious,” Ohno whispered innocently.  
  
  
“I hid nothing because there is nothing to hide,” Nino shot back bitterly.  


  
“Umm... if you two are quite done.” Jun cut in and the the two of them looked back smiling innocently. They all settled down around the table, all helping themselves to the food offered. Before he started eating, Nino grabbed the thermos Sho had brought and poured himself some more tea, noticing a small smile from Sho as he did.  
  
  
Surprisingly, Sho was the first one to break the silence, “So how did you two meet?” He happily asked and Ohno and Jun.  
  
  
A little taken aback, Jun stuttered. “Urr, I guess we met at school… Right Satoshi?” Nino just looked down into his food. From memory the first time the two met was in hospital, Ohno and Aiba had heard that Nino had collapsed in school so they both surprised him by visiting him. Naturally Jun had been with him, the workers must have told him. Though Nino couldn’t remember many details from back then, when the nightmares started..  
  
  
But lucky for them both, Ohno was great at keeping his cool and added. “Well, really we met through Nino because I was a senior at his highschool, and I tutored him.”  
  
  
“Oh so you didn’t actually go to school together then?” Sho asked.  
  
  
“Ahh I guess not, Satoshi graduated before I started so we never were in class together or anything, but Satoshi and Kazu-chan got to be pretty good friends so I got to know him through Kazu-chan,” Jun finished shyly.  


  
Noticing the silence, Sho looked around around the table, “I’m sorry, that was really rude of me, wasn’t it?”  
  
  
“No no, not at all,” Ohno reassured him. “We just don’t talk about it very often I suppose.”  
  
  
“But like, its really sweet that you have been together for so long, I only asked because you seem to have such a good relationship,” Sho said sheepishly.  
  
  
“They do have a good relationship,” Nino smiled, only Jun and Ohno picked up the hint of sadness in his voice, “I’m glad they have each other.”  
  
  
“Ahh, you are embarrassing me,” Jun said quickly. “Come on, let’s eat before it gets cold.”  
  
  
After that, the four of them swapped light conversations, Nino was happy that neither his brother  or Ohno asked any questions regarding Sho and Nino’s relationship. Mostly because there wasn’t any real relationship in the first place and he didn’t want them to scare Sho off.  


  
When they were finished, they all sat around the table and talked for a while more, before Sho announced that it was getting late and he should probably be heading home. Nino offered to walk him to the door, which Sho gladly accepted.  
  
  
When they reached the door, Sho turned awkwardly and gave a little bow, “Thank you for having me.”  
  
  
Nino shoved him playfully, “Don’t be silly, you are always welcome, I need someone to pick on don’t I?”  
  
  
Sho pouted, but smiled again, “Well if you must, it is but a small price to pay for good food and good company.”  
  
  
“Dork.” Nino jabbed him playfully again, trying to hide his embarrassment and his flushed face.  
  
  
Sho laughed, then said quietly, “Is it…” Sho started, losing steam a little, “Is it okay if I come over tomorrow night?” Sho asked, scratching the back of his head awkwardly.  
  
  
“Mm,” Nino hummed happily. “I would like that.”  
  
  
Sho broke out into an overly goofy smile. “Great, I will see you then.”  
  
  
“See you then, Sho-chan,” Nino said with a small wave.  
  
  
“Bye bye, Nino-kun.” Sho returned his wave and then turned to leave.  
  
  
Nino watched as Sho walked down the hallway to the stairs and he couldn’t help but smile to 

himself. But when he closed the door and turned back into his apartment, his face fell immediately as he saw Ohno and Jun smiling back at him slyly. But before they could say anything, Nino grabbed his towel and quickly hurried off saying, “I’m going to take a shower.”  
  
  
Nino tried his hardest to waste as much time as possible during his shower and scrubbing himself until his skin was raw. But he knew it was a futile effort, they didn’t plan on going anywhere that evening. He let himself enjoy the shower none the less, thoroughly washing his hair and enjoying the feeling of soap suds on his skin. Once done, he put on some sweats and a hoodie and draped the towel over his head, before returning to the living room.  
  
  
“How are you feeling?” Came Jun’s question almost immediately as he returned.  
  
  
He walked over to his futon and settled himself in and noticing that the bed linen had been changed. “Much better, hopefully the worst of it is over now.”  
  
  
“That’s good to hear.” Jun smiled, and Nino couldn’t help feeling guilty for how he had worried his brother over the past couple days.  
  
  
“I’m sorry about last night,” Nino blurted out, “I know I worried you and I should have looked after myself better.”  
  
  
“Kazu-chan…” Jun said sadly, “Please don’t feel guilty, you did nothing wrong.”  
  
  
“Last night you were delirious with fever so we are not angry about it all, just glad we could help,” Ohno said rather flatly.  
  
  
“I was terrible today though, I treated you badly even though you helped me so much,” Nino said, working hard to make them realise how horrid he had been.  
  
  
“Kazu please, don’t.” Nino could see that Jun was getting upset so he looked away, rolling onto his side and facing away from them.  
  
  
“I’m just a burden to you both. It would be better if-” A light kick connected squarely with his behind. He gasped and looked up at Ohno who was smiling. “What the hell?!” he yelled in shock.  
  
  
“You are being an idiot, so I kicked you,” Ohno said calmly then sat down on the couch beside Jun, wrapping an arm around him comfortingly. “Anyway, what’s with this mood, it’s like as soon as Sakurai-san left, you got all mopey.”  
  
  
“Did not,” Nino snapped back pettily.  
  
  
“Did too, you were also making dreamy eyes at him all night,” Ohno teased.  
  
  
“I was not, it’s nothing like that, we are just friends,” Nino grumbled.  
  
  
“I’m happy for you,” Jun said softly. “You don’t have to tell us anything if you don’t want to.”  
  
  
“Just don’t make a big deal out of it please,” Nino said sulkily, turning his face into the pillow.  
  
  
“We won’t,” Jun replied, “Is it okay if we stay over again?”  
  
  
“Yeah, it’s fine,” Nino mumbled. It didn’t take him long to drift off to sleep, it was almost easier now that he didn’t feel as sick and let himself relax as he listened to Ohno and Jun talking quietly to each other.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lack of updates! I'm hoping to keep them more regular from now on! 
> 
> Beta credit goes to the wonderful and amazingly patient indigo-lover@livejournal ♥ Thank you so much!

The next morning Nino woke to once again find Ohno and Jun squashed up on his little couch together. He felt a little guilty because usually when they stayed over, Jun would share the futon with Nino and Ohno would take the couch. But after what happened the previous night, Nino had a feeling that Jun was wary of getting too close to Nino, which he understood, but couldn’t help feel a pang of loneliness. The guilt didn’t last long because upon further inspection, he found that they were hugging and had the faintest of smiles on their faces. Nino reached for his phone and snapped a quick picture, it was always useful to have some blackmail material on them.    
  


  
Wanting to get out of the flat for a bit, he crossed the hall to Aiba’s apartment and knocked sharply.  When there was no response, he pulled his phone out and called him.   
  


  
It took a few rings but eventually the phone clicked and Nino heard Aiba’s muffled voice. “Hello?” 

 

  
“Let. Me. In.” Nino said, punctuating with a sharp knock after each word.   
  


  
“What?” Aiba sounded very confused.   
  


  
“Let me in,” Nino repeated slowly.   
  


  
“Why?” Aiba whined, followed by the muffled sound of him shuffling out of bed.

  
  
“Because I am outside your door.”   
  


  
The door swung open, Aiba who looked rather disheveled and still had the phone to his ear said, “That’s not a very good reason.” But he moved aside and let Nino in anyway.   
  


 

“Oh-chan and J stayed over and they are still asleep so I didn’t want to wake them,” Nino said nonchalantly. They moved over to Aiba’s small kitchenette and Nino took a seat on the bench while Aiba put the kettle on.   
  


 

“So you decided to wake me instead...” Aiba said sarcastically rolling his eyes, but he could tell that the other wasn't really bothered.   
  


  
“You are a better company, take it as a compliment.”    
  


  
“Oh, how sweet,” Aiba exaggerated, sliding a cup of coffee across the counter to Nino, then sitting down himself. “Well as much as your wake up call was a little rough, I’m glad to see you looking better,” Aiba said thoughtfully, staring into his cup.   
  


  
“Mm,” Nino hummed, “I feel much better, thanks for looking after me.”   
  


  
“Nah, I barely did anything. I just made sure you ate every now and again.” He took a sip of coffee before adding quietly, “It’s Ohno-kun and Jun-kun that deserve the thanks more than me.”   
  


  
Nino sighed. “I tried to say sorry last night but they got upset with me,” Nino mumbled into his mug before taking a sip.   
  


  
“I said thank, not apologise,” Aiba shoved him playfully. “You sure are an idiot sometimes, aren't you.”

  
  
“Hey, that’s not fair,” Nino whined, “But I guess I see your point.”   
  


  
“Why don’t you do something nice for them today to make it up to them,” Aiba said.   
  


  
“I would, but I don’t really think I have the energy to go anywhere or anything,” Nino sighed.   
  


  
“Why don’t you just do something small, like have lunch at the park or something. Get them to drive there so you can leave anytime,” Aiba mused thoughtfully.

  
  
“Yeah that might work, it would be nice to get some fresh air to be honest.”    
  


  
“You have been cooped up in your flat these past few days,” Aiba agreed. “How about we go down to the restaurant and make some bentos for you to take, and then you can surprise them when they wake up!” Aiba said, excitement reaching to golden retriever puppy level.   
  


  
“I guess?” Nino said, feeling unsure. But Aiba usually got carried away with his ideas, so it was not too surprising.   
  


  
In the end Aiba ended up making all of the components for the bentos, while Nino sat at the counter drinking tea. He had intended to help but as soon as they reached the kitchen, Aiba shooed him away, claiming that his germs would contaminate the food. Eventually he crossed his arms on the counter, rested his head on them and closed his eyes. He didn’t sleep, just dozed as he listened to the sounds of Aiba rustling around in the kitchen.   
  


  
It was probably an hour later when he heard footsteps coming down the stairs, accompanied by his brother’s voice. “There you are Kazu.” Nino looked up at him and smiled, “What are you guys doing down here?” Jun asked.   
  


  
“Mm, nothing much,” Nino said lazily as Jun rounded the counter to sit next to him.   
  


  
“Do you want some breakfast?” Aiba asked.   
  


  
“Mm that would be good, Oh-chan will be down soon.” Jun smiled.   
  


  
Aiba set up one of the restaurant tables and loaded it with food so that when Ohno came down, they all sat together and had breakfast.   
  


  
“Why haven’t you two eaten yet?” Jun asked curiously as they sat down.   
  


  
“Oh, I guess it just slipped our minds, right Aiba-kun?”    
  


  
“Yeah, also Nino-kun has something he wants to ask you both,” Aiba said happily, then shoveled some food into his mouth.

  
  
Nino groaned as Jun asked, “What is it?”

  
  
“Nothing important, I was just wondering if you guys were free today,” Nino said quietly, eyes fixed on his food.   
  


  
“Yeah, I guess, we don’t have any plans,” Jun said curiously, confirming with a nod toward Ohno who simply shrugged in reply.   
  


  
“I was wondering if you wanted to have lunch together or something…” He trailed off a little but continued, “To say thanks.”   
  


  
“Are you sure you are okay to go out?” Jun asked, “You’re feeling better then?”   
  
  


“Yeah, I am feeling a lot better and Aiba-kun thought it would be a good idea to go to the park and get some fresh air.”   
  


  
“That’s a great idea!” Jun said happily, “Are you going to join us, Aiba-chan?”    
  


  
“I am afraid I will have to pass, I’ve got to get some prep done for this evening, but I made you all a bento so you better enjoy yourselves,” Aiba said happily.   
  


  
They all hummed in agreement before continuing their breakfast. After the meal, Ohno and Jun decided to go back to their apartment to shower and change into some fresh clothes,  arranging to pick Nino up around midday.   
  


 

As much as Nino had been the one to invite them, he was certainly glad to get some time alone for a while. It felt like since he had gotten sick, he had never just had a moment to himself. He chose to spend the time playing video games, it was great to be able to just escape his life for a while.    
  


  
So it was not overly surprising when Nino was interrupted by his phone buzzing loudly, he paused his game and fumbled to answer. “Hello?”

  
  
“We are waiting outside, are you ready?” He heard Jun’s muffled voice.   
  


  
Nino looked down at his sweatpants and hoodie that he was still wearing from last night, “Yeah, I will be down in a moment.” He flipped his phone shut, threw it on the couch and rushed to change into some jeans. He gave up on changing out of his hoodie and instead threw a jacket over the top of it, he looked presentable enough. As he bolted down the stairs, he remembered to grab the lunches that Aiba had prepared before running out the door and yelling, “Thanks for the food Aiba! See you tonight!”    
  


  
He hopped in the back seat of Jun’s car with a wide smile. He was in a really good mood even when his brother said, “You weren’t ready at all were you.”

  
  
“But I am ready now so that is all that matters,” Nino replied and gave his brother a goofy grin, who just shook his head a little before driving off with a small smile.   
  


  
When they arrived, they lazily strolled around the park until they found a nice spot and Ohno pulled out a picnic rug. They swapped casual conversation while they ate, though none of them seem particularly interested in any one topic from the conversations. After lunch, they moved down onto the hillside looking over the lake and laid down side by side on the grass. As he lay, Nino closed his eyes, breathing in the fresh air and letting his body relax.   
  


 

“Hey Kazu-chan,” Jun called out lazily. Nino let out a hum of acknowledgement before Jun continued, “Have you ever had a crush on anyone?”   
  


  
Nino looked over at Jun disapprovingly. “What kind of a question is that so suddenly?”   
  


  
“I am just curious,” Jun said casually, “Because I have never seen you date anyone or anything.”   
  


  
“Just because you are happy in a relationship, doesn’t mean everyone has to be,” Nino retorted.

  
  
“That’s not what I meant, I was just asking about crushes, you know in school or whatever,” Jun tried to explain, though not overly well.   
  


  
“Yeah I guess I have,” Nino said quietly. “But I am not talking about Sho-san, if that’s what you are getting at.”    
  


  
“No, you told me you were just friends and I believe you,” Jun said firmly, then added, “The crushes that you had, were they on girls or boys?” Jun asked in an overly innocent tone, “Or both?”   
  


  
“I don’t know.” Nino replied, rubbing his eyes as a small knot of pain started drumming in his temples.   
  
“How do you not know?” Jun asked, surprised.   
  
“I don’t remember much about school,” He brushed off quietly. The emory of that time was more like and overwhelming feeling of dread and unrest. Most of his memories he had locked away, not wanting to relieve that kind of anguish.   
  


  
“Kazu-chan… I’m sorry, I should have realised,” Jun said sadly.   
  
“Don’t feel bad, it’s just easier for me not to deal with people,” Nino explained, he had tried to say it offhandedly but his voice came out weak.    
  


  
“But…” Jun started a little cautiously, “You let Sakurai-san get close to you.”   
  


  
“Yeah. but that was kind of an accident,” Nino mused. “If anything, I think it's more about him being lonely since he usually does most of the talking when we hang out.”   
  


 

“But if he was annoying you, wouldn’t you have scared him off by now?” Jun asked.    
  


  
“He is weirdly stubborn.”    
  


  
“You seem happy around him.” Jun said quietly.   
  


  
He thought about this for a moment, “I am,” He said. “Because around him, I can pretend I am just some normal guy with a normal life.” He looked over at his brother who was staring back at him sadly, but Nino just smiled, “It’s okay, I’m happy this way.”   
  


  
They fell into a comfortable silence, letting the sun warm their skin and taking in the gentle sounds of the wind rustling through the trees and the occasional bird chirping happily. Before Nino knew it, he had fallen into a light doze, not aware of time passing, just a warm feeling spreading throughout his body.   
  


  
After a while, he pushed himself up and stretched out his joints. He looked over at Jun and Ohno, who were snuggled up together sleeping soundly. He decided to leave them sleeping while he went for a little stroll by the lakeside, wanting to stretch his limbs which were still stiff from sickness. He let himself enjoy the slightly spongy feeling of the grass under foot, which grew damper as he walked towards the lake.   
  


  
He wondered if it was going to rain as he noticed the sky growing darker, he didn’t mind too much though because he knew they had a car. His hand felt damp in his pockets as he started to sweat a little under the sun. He reached the edge of the lake and knelt down at the water's edge, picked up a pebble and rolled it absentmindedly in his palm. His hands started to feeling uncomfortably clammy where he held the small stone, he wiped his free hand on his jeans but the feeling increased. Slowly he looked down at his palm, but he couldn’t see the pebble even though he felt it there.   
  
  


Instead, all he saw was the deep red stain of blood. He panicked, dropped the invisible pebble and pulled out his other hand to see that it mirrored the deep crimson. He tried to wipe off the blood using his jeans again but the colour remained, haunting him. His heart was beating so fast that he could hear it loudly in his ears. Jun, he needed to get back to Jun, but when turned to run back he couldn’t see the hillside anymore, just a gut wrenchingly sight of a familiar room where the hillside used to be. He turned around slowly to take in the new surrounding, heart beating fast, only to get a glimpse of two still bodies that were lying on the hard wooden floor.    
  


  
He retched at the sight and as the metallic smell of blood overwhelmed his senses. He tried to run away, but his legs were frozen stiff and he could hear distant screaming which sounded like blood curdling cries. He stuck his hands over his ears to try and block out the noise as he felt hands grabbing at him but he was so panicked that all he could feel was the deafening pounding in his head.   
  
Almost as quickly as it started, the world seemed to melt around him but this time, nothing replaced it, just silent blackness.   
  


  
-   
  


  
  


  
  


  
A steady rhythmic sound was the next thing Nino was aware of.   
  


  
  


  
  


  
He could hear murmuring voices around him, like several people having quiet conversations, but he couldn’t make out the words.   
  


  
His body felt heavy and his throat was dry, it itched uncomfortably.   
  
  


  
  


  
And then suddenly he knew where he was, he opened his eyes cautiously but snapping them shut almost instantly as the bright fluorescent light stung his senses. He gave himself a few moments to adjust before opening them again, squinting to see the room around him.    
  
  


He saw a group of figures standing somewhere in the corner of the room, his vision was blurred and so he couldn’t make out much detail, but he scanned the room quickly until he spotted what he was looking for, the door. First things first, getting out of here. He would figure out the next step afterwards.    
  


  
He ran his hand lightly over his left arm and it didn’t take him long to locate the drip cord. He bit his bottom lip hard, bracing himself and ripped it out, flinching at the pain but made no sound. He slowly rolled onto his side to face the door, pushing the blankets down as moved. He found the edge of the bed and gripped firmly before pushing himself out, landing awkwardly but still putting all his strength into getting out of the room as fast possible. He stumbled a little in the corridor but quickly regained his balance and continued to run. Shouts and yells could be heard erupting around him but he just focused on getting away as fast as possible. 

  
  
A few seconds after he ran out of the room, he felt strong hands grabbing his abdomen and halting his movements instantly. Nino struggled against them by trying to push the hands away but his strength seemed to abandon him when it was needed most and his legs buckled. So he decided to do the only thing he could think of at the moment and crouched down onto the cool floor to try and hide, desperately covering his face with his arms. The hands released their hold from his abdomen to grip his arms and even with his heart racing, Nino didn't dare make a sound.   
  


  
“Nino, it’s me.” He heard a familiar voice say gently and he looked up shakily to find Ohno kneeling down next to him.   
  


  
Feeling relieved to see a familiar face, he reached out and grabbed Ohno’s shirt, pulling him closer. “Oh-chan,” He said as he was still processing what was going on around him. He felt the grips on his arms loosen and replaced by Ohno’s gentle embrace as he leaned down to Nino.   
  


  
“I’m here, we are at the hospital,” Ohno said softly into Nino's ear.    
  


  
He then heard someone else shuffling beside Ohno, then an unfamiliar voice, “Ninomiya-san, My name is Dr. Ishihara, your attending Doctor this evening.” Nino looked over to see a young woman smiling down at him. “We are going to need you to stand up for us, okay?”    
  


  
She looked expectantly at Nino and he turned away from her, burying his face in Ohno’s chest and tightening his hold on the older man. “I won’t go anywhere, let’s get up okay?” Ohno said reassuringly. Thinking that it would be better talk in private rather than in the hallway, Nino nodded a little, his face still buried in Ohno’s chest.   
  
  


Ohno then gently helped Nino up and steadying him by wrapping his arms around Nino’s shoulders when the latter wobbled. The Doctor then cut in, “Great, now let’s head back to the room,” She said smiling and didn’t seemed to be at all fazed by Nino’s behavior.   
  


  
Nino turned instead, to Ohno, “Let’s go home,” He said firmly. Ohno’s face falling a little at his words.   
  


  
“Ahh Ninomiya-san, we are not quite ready to discharge you yet, so if you could-” But Nino ignored her, the feeling of deep dread was getting more intense by the moment and he decided that he didn't want to be in the hospital another minute longer. “Oh-chan,” Nino begged, “Please.” Ohno stood still, he looking lost and unable to decide what to do.   
  


  
“We don’t need to go back to the hospital bed if you are uncomfortable with that, we have a number of quiet rooms here at the hospital that we can go to instead, if it makes you more comfortable.” The Doctor offered.   
  


  
Nino looked at Ohno again pleadingly, but Ohno was looking at the Doctor. “Let’s try that,” He said quickly, and Nino’s heart sank as he felt Ohno’s arms tighten around his shoulders. 

 

  
The Doctor nodded and signalled for them to follow her, then Nino felt Ohno ushering him in the right direction. Nino let himself go numb since he knew it was futile in trying to escape, however desperately he wanted to. The next thing he knew was that he had been shuffled into a small room with a couple of couches around a small coffee table with a water jug and a box of tissues sitting in the center. 

  
  


He sat down on the couch, pulled his knees up and rest his chin on them, he concluded that this room was a little better than the previous room but he still felt agitated just being in the hospital. While looking lazily around at the white walls, he vaguely noticed that a couple of nurses followed them into the room and introduced themselves but Nino didn’t pay attention. They both moved over to him, one of them kneeled in front of him and said something while the other moved to his left hand to fix the dressing where he had ripped out the IV cord. He caught a glimpse of blood at the back of his hand but immediately shut his eyes and didn’t talk to any them. He just let them do their job before the doctor dismissed them.   
  


  
“Ninomiya-san?” The Doctor said after a few moments of silence.   
  


  
He tried hard to open his suddenly heavy eyes and looked over to her with a blank expression. She was smiling a warm, if not a little forced, smile. “Ninomiya-san, do you remember what happened today?” she asked.   
  


  
He stared blankly at her, and then slowly nodded.   
  


  
“Can you tell me what happened?” She asked gently.   
  


  
He just stared at her, thinking that if he kept silent long enough, she might give up on asking questions and discharge him. But she just stared expectantly back him, so he sighed and answered, “I had a flashback.”    
  


  
“Okay,” She said as she jotted something down on her paper and as Nino started to fidget. “And you had flashbacks in the past?”   
  


  
Nino nodded slowly and as he felt his tension rising, he started to bite his nails. But the doctor merely continued asking her questions. “And today’s flashback was related to trauma you suffered as a child?” Nino nodded again, this time quickly. “Do you experience these episodes regularly?” He shook his head. “When was the last time you remember experiencing something like it?”   
  


  
“Over a year ago,” He said quickly, wanting this to be over.   
  


  
“Are you seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist?” She asked softly.   
  


  
“No,” he snapped. “Can I go now?” his patience growing thin as his tension rose.   
  
“I just need a few more moments of your time Ninomiya-san. Considering the circumstances I would recommend that we do some assessments here to determine an ongoing treatment plan that best suits your needs,” She said, a little hesitant.   
  
“I’ve had treatments in the past and it made it worse,” Nino said somewhat nervously.   
  


  
“Yes, that can happen,” she said, sounding a little sad. “But there are many alternative therapy options available now and you may find one more suited to you,” she explained.

  
  
“I’m not interested, can I go now?” He asked again, firmly.   
  


  
She looked torn as she said, “Well considering that you have been sick over the last few days, I recommend that you stay overnight for further observation. In the morning I can have one of our psychologists have a chat with you and do some initial assessments.”   
  


  
Nino, having lost his strength to argue just buried his face in his knees and hugged himself tightly. He just wanted this to be over so he could get out of here. “Oh-chan.” He pleaded, voice muffled and quiet.   
  


  
He heard Ohno speak quietly, “Sorry Doctor, is it alright if I explain a little?”   
  


  
She sounded a little surprised, “Explain?”   
  


  
“I know you probably only have a vague medical history of Ninomiya-san, but after what happened when he was a kid, he spent some time in the hospital,” Ohno said gently.   
  
  


“Yes, I imagine he would have,” she said, not sure where Ohno was going.   
  


  
“Well hospitals bring up the feelings and memories of that time so…”   
  


  
“It’s a trigger,” She finished, understanding Nino’s behavior a little better. “So it would be useless to do any evaluations at this time.”   
  


  
“Yeah, so is it at all possible to speed up the discharge a little?”   
  


  
“I still think we need to look at a treatment plan…” She muttered, tapping her pen against her knee in thought. “Okay, so what I will do today is provide a referral for a psychiatrist, that way you can create a mental health plan with a professional and I won’t prescribe anything for the time being.” She scribbled some more on her paper and asked, “Are you able to stay with him tonight?”   
  


  
“Yeah of course,” Ohno replied.   
  


  
“Great, just monitor him, make sure he eats a healthy dinner and gets plenty of rest,” She said as she stood up. “I’ll walk you to the desk to organise the referral.”   
  


  
Ohno tapped his shoulder, Nino snapped his gaze to meet the other mans. “Are we leaving now?” He asked impatiently.   
  


  
“Yeah, come on, Jun’s waiting,” Ohno said, giving Nino a hand up.   
  


  
“Where is J?” Nino wondered suddenly, feeling a little guilty on having forgotten his brother.   
  


  
“Just in the waiting area,” Ohno said. “A cute nurse had to calm him down because he was so worried about you. They wouldn’t let him in to the ward because he was making too much of a fuss,” He said with a hint of a smirk.    
  


  
The hospital corridors seemed to go on forever and when they finally made their way out, they emerged into the large waiting room. Nino’s eyes immediately scanned the room for his brother and spotted Jun standing in front of a large window, talking on the phone. Without checking with Ohno, he walked quickly to where his brother was and pulled him into a tight embrace.   
  


  
Jun yelped softly and dropped his phone in surprise but returned Nino’s hug with just as much pressure. “Kazu-chan,” he said quietly. Ohno smiled at the scene before heading to the counter to collect the necessary referral documents.

  
  


As soon as they broke apart, Nino grabbed Jun’s arm and started for the door. “Just a sec!” Jun said leaving him for a moment to pick up his phone, mentally sighing in relief that it was not damaged as he pocketed it and grabbing a pile of jackets from a nearby seat. He placed Nino’s jacket over his shoulder loosely then slung an arm protectively around his shoulders as they walked out.   
  


  
Walking towards the car, Nino wondered on how long he had been in the hospital, as it was already dark outside. When they got to the car, Nino slid in the backseat and let out a breath of relief as he finally felt free of the hospital. Jun then slipped in the seat opposite Nino, leaving the middle seat free between them. “How are you feeling?” Jun asked quietly.   
  


  
Nino leaned his head back so it rested on the headrest, closed his eyes and replied, “Shit.”    
  


  
When Jun did not respond, Nino took a side glance towards him and noted that Jun seemed to be fighting off tears, his eyes red and watery. “I’m sorry,” Jun mumbled weakly.   
  


  
“Why did you bring me here?” Nino asked, unable to keep the pain from his voice as he rubbed his face, the exhaustion of the day weighing down on him heavily.   
  


  
At this, Jun looked hurt, “I didn’t, Nino. But when you collapsed, we were sleeping so a passerby found you and called an ambulance.”    
  


  
“They want me to see a psychiatrist,” Nino said sadly. “I don’t want to do that again.”   
  


  
“I’m sorry Kazu-chan, I tried to stop them but…” Tears were rolling down his cheeks now, “You weren't responding and you just kept screaming and crying.”   
  


  
“It’s not your fault J,” He assured softly. “It probably only happened because I was still unwell, it couldn't be helped.”   
  


  
“I didn’t want them to take you here.” Jun sobbed quietly, hands wiping flowing tears from his cheeks.

  
  
“I know.” Nino closed his eyes again and listened to the occasional sob escaping Jun. After a while, Nino heard the car door open. He opened his eyes to see Ohno in the driver's seat, a hand reaching back to Jun and giving his leg a comforting squeeze before starting the car and driving off.   
  


 

-

  
  


They didn’t end up going back to Nino’s. Ohno instead, drove them to his place, with Ohno firmly saying that Nino was staying the night with them before he could protest. When they entered the apartment, Ohno was supporting Jun who was still sobbing quietly so Nino excused himself immediately to go shower, wanting to hide away from the others.

  
  


He turned the water up so it was just a little hotter than he was used to and sat down under the spray, curling himself up tightly so the hot water pummelled his back. It stung a little, but it helped him ignore everything that happened. He breathed in deeply and the steamy air felt warm in his mouth. He felt drained, as if everything that happened sucked the emotion and strength out of him and left him empty. He tried to ignore how his body ached and just let his mind wander to nothingness, since it was easier not to feel anything.

  
  


He snapped back to reality when he felt a hand close around his arm, “Nino you need to get out now.” Ohno was looking down at him with concern and Nino realised he had probably been trying to talk to Nino for a while now.

  
  


“Oh,” He said, looking around confused. “Sorry.” He got up slowly and turned off the taps. 

  
  


He felt Ohno nudge a towel to his side, which he clumsily wrapped around himself. “I’ve left some clean clothes here for you, we are waiting in the lounge when you are done.”

  
  


“Thanks,” Nino said voice soft. 

  
  


“Is he okay?” Nino heard Jun ask Ohno as he left the room. Jun must have been waiting outside for him and Nino sighed, he hated worrying his brother like this. He got dressed and slung the towel over his head and went to find the others in the lounge.

  
  
  


Ohno had ordered some dinner, which Nino only absentmindedly picked at, not feeling in any way hungry. Ohno and Jun were swapping light conversation, but he couldn’t focus on what they were saying and just stared blankly at the food below him. Eventually Jun gave up on trying to prompt Nino to eat, instead guiding him gently to the spare room. There was a futon laid out on the floor which Jun must have set up while he was in the shower. He let himself melt down into the comfort, feeling Jun properly cover him in a warm duvet before leaving.

  
  


He wasn't sure if he managed to sleep much since his brain was drifting in and out of an endless fog. There was no real awareness of time passing, but he noticed as the sky outside his window got lighter and night became day. Eventually, he heard the creaking of the door and felt a hand shaking his shoulder gently. He rolled over to find his brother staring back at him, Nino heard him say something about breakfast and then signaled for him to get up.

  
  


A sudden rush of dizziness caused Nino to stumble a few moments after getting up. Jun quickly stepped over to steady him as Nino pressed a hand against his forehead, “Do you feel sick?” Jun asked, worried.

  
  


He shook his head, “Just a little dizzy.” 

  
  


“That’s what you get for skipping dinner last night,” Jun complained but stuck close by as they made their way to the kitchen table, where Jun had laid out a generous breakfast. Ohno was already waiting at the table with a cup of coffee in his hand as the two of them took their seats. 

  
  


The two of them exchanged light conversation, but Nino still didn’t register what they were saying. It was only when Jun reached out a hand to shake his shoulder gently and said, “Kazu-chan?” That he snapped somewhat back to reality.

  
  


“Hm?” He looked at his brother curiously.

  
  


“Are you not hungry?” Jun asked, looking at Nino’s empty plate.

  
  


“Oh,” Nino looked down at the food, quickly grabbing a piece of toast and moving it onto his plate. “Sorry.”

  
  


He took a mouthful and chewed slowly as he noticed the other two had stopped talking and were just watching him as if he could snap at any moment. Unable to stand their gaze, he looked away and scanned the room until he saw the hospital paperwork. It still laid on the counter where it had been haphazardly shoved last night, his stomach dropped at the thought of it and he wondered how persistent they would be in chasing him up this time. 

  
  


He put down his toast as he lost all appetite, “I’ll head home after breakfast,” He tried to say casually.

  
  


He saw Ohno and Jun look pointedly at each other before Ohno turned to face him and said, “Why don’t you stay here today.” It wasn’t a question and Nino knew it.

  
  


“I want to go home,” He said stubbornly.

  
  


“I don’t want you leaving until I know you can look after yourself,” Jun said bluntly, concern deep in his voice.

  
  


“I…” Nino started, but he knew there was no point in arguing, “I’m going back to bed then.” He got up abruptly and stormed back to the spare room.

  
  


It was frustrating because he knew exactly why his brother felt this way, but at the same time, he was sick of being constantly looked after. He was the older brother so he should be the one looking after Jun, instead he was a constant burden. Before he could stop himself, he had started sobbing with hot tears flowing down his cheeks. He felt such a profound self loathing that it hurt him physically and he bit down at his arm to muffle any sounds, tears were still streaming down his eyes. After a while, he didn’t have the strength to cry anymore and readily let sleep take him.

  
  


-

  
  


The next thing he was aware of was his stomach gurgling loudly, hunger overcoming him completely. He sat up in his bed and winced slightly at the bruise on his arm, he hadn't remember we biting so hard. He pulled down the sleeve of his sweatshirt to conceal the mark before getting up.

  
  


He didn’t really want to have to talk to the others just yet, but he was going to go crazy if he didn’t eat. So he opened his door quietly and paused to listen for sounds of movement. He could hear talking coming from the lounge, but he decided to try make it to the kitchen unnoticed anyway. He walked softly but swiftly down the hall reaching his goal seemingly unnoticed as he could still hear conversation filtering from the other end of the hall. He went straight for the fridge, picking out the milk and taking several gulps straight from the bottle.

  
  


“Eww Kazu-chan, use a cup.” Startled, Nino choked a little on the remaining milk in his mouth as he looked up at his brother who was leaning casually in the doorway.

  
  


“Do you have to sneak up on me like that?” Nino complained, still coughing a little around the words.

  
  


But Jun just ignored him, walking over to give him a few firm  pats on the back. “You want some lunch? There are some sandwiches in the lounge if you are hungry,” Jun said moving past him to fill a jug of water, before turning to head back. “Come on then,” Jun signalled for him to follow, smiling a little too tightly.

  
  


Nino sighed and followed his brother to the other room, where it was not only Ohno who was waiting for them, but Aiba was there too. “Aiba-kun…” Nino said, surprised to see his friend.

  
  


“Ahh Nino, you’re awake!” Aiba said happily, “I brought you a couple things from your flat, I hope that is okay?” Aiba said, getting up to hand Nino a small bag of assorted items.

  
  


Inside, Nino found his DS, phone, their respective chargers and a change of clothes. “Of course it's okay, thanks heaps Aiba.” He tried to turn on both his phone and DS but both were out of batteries.

  
  


“Give them to me, I’ll put them on charge in the spare room for you,” Ohno offered.

  
  


Nino nodded and handed them over, then feeling awkward when he realized he was still standing. So he moved to take a seat on the couch. “Eat up Kazu-chan, we have already finished, but go ahead.” Jun prompted firmly.

  
  


He took a plate, put a couple of sandwiches on it and started eating slowly. “Sorry I missed so much work Aiba-kun,” He apologised quietly.

  
  


“Don’t sweat it, Toma-kun has been happy to fill your shifts. He told me he is saving for a holiday.”

  
  


“Oh nice,” Nino would have to thank Toma the next time he saw him. “Has it been very busy?” He asked. Nino liked talking about work since it was one of the times he could forget himself most.

  
  


“Oh you know, busy enough without being too crazy,” Aiba smiled, then his expression changed to a thoughtful one. “Sakurai-san came in again last night…” Aiba said innocently, waiting for Nino’s reaction.

  
  


“As usual,” Nino said bluntly and rolled his eyes, though he did feel a pang of regret as he remembered the promise he had made to Sho.

  
  


“He was really worried when he found out you had gone to the hospital,” Aiba said.

  
  


Nino felt his blood run cold, a twinge of panic building within him. “Why did you tell him? Did you tell him why I was in hospital?” He asked, swallowing thickly on a lump in his throat.

  
  


“I didn’t, Toma let it slip because Sho was grilling him a little, I just told him it was because you had been sick,” Aiba answered kindly, and Nino released the breath he hadn’t realise he was holding. “It was a bit of a pain to be honest since as soon as he found out, he wanted to 

go see you. But in the end, I managed to convince him not to go.” 

  
  


“Oh,” Nino said, unsure on how to process that information, “Thanks Aiba-kun.”

  
  
  


They moved off the topic pretty quickly after that and Nino was relieved that Jun didn’t try digging for more information about Sho. Instead, his brother seemed perfectly content on just listening to Nino and Aiba catch up.

  
  


Aiba didn’t end up staying too long, saying that he need to get back to the restaurant. Once he left, Nino unplugged his phone and DS from their chargers and went back to the couch. “I don't think they are fully charged yet,” Jun said.

  
  


“I don’t mind.” He turned on his phone first and then set it aside to let it start up and flipped open his DS, immediately falling back into his game. After about a minute, his phone vibrated noisily several times and Nino picked it up to find an alert for three new messages. He felt a pang in his chest when he saw that they were all from Sho.

  
  


He opened the conversation and read the three messages. The first one read, “Aiba told me that you went to hospital, are you okay?” Followed by an sad face emoji, then, “I wanted to visit you but Aiba told me not to, I hope you are okay.” Another sad emoji punctuating the end of the message. The first two messages had been sent around the same time last night, but the third was sent this morning, “I hope you are feeling better today.” Followed by a cute emoji of a smiling sun.

  
  


Nino couldn’t help but smile after reading them, but he also felt a little guilty for worrying Sho like that so he quickly tapped out a reply, “Sorry Sho! I didn’t have my phone in the hospital. I’m fine! No need to worry.” He paused for a moment before adding a smiley emoji and then hit send.

He shook his head, trying to shake the strange feeling that had swarmed him as he picked up his DS and continued playing. But a few moments later, his phone started buzzing and when he looked over, Sho was calling him.

  
  


He swiped to answer, “Hello?”

  
  


“Hey Nino-kun! It’s Sho,” Sho introduced pointlessly.

  
  


“Well duh,” Nino sighed, then noticed Jun looking curiously in Nino’s direction. “Caller ID.” 

  
  


“Yeah I know right, but it feels weird to not introduce yourself on the phone I guess…” Sho trailed off, seemingly lost in thought, “Don’t you think?”

  
  


“I guess…” Nino reluctantly agreed, “What’s up?” 

  
  


“Oh I just wanted to check that you were okay,” Sho started, sounding a little embarrassed. “When I heard you were in the hospital, I worried that maybe something serious was wrong, like what you said about being ill when you were young.”

  
  


“Don’t worry, it’s nothing like that,” It was half true Nino thought. “I just pushed myself a little too much that’s all,” He tried to sound casual as he explained.

  
  


“Okay...” Sho sounded a little skeptical. “But I am glad to hear you are okay. If you want, I can come round tonight and cheer you up?” 

  
  


“Ahh I’d love that but I am staying at my brothers place tonight,” Nino sounded disappointed but still aware of Jun who had his eyes fixed on him. 

  
  


“Oh I see, well tomorrow then, okay?” Sho wasn’t really asking, but Nino didn’t mind too much.

  
  


“Yeah, that sounds good.” He couldn’t help the small smile that appeared on his face,

  
  


After that, they stayed on the phone for a while longer, falling into comfortable conversation. Nino loved that they could just talk about nothing, it helped him forget about his life. Eventually his phone started making the low battery sound and Nino reluctantly wrapped up the call. They promised yet again to see each other tomorrow before they hung up.

  
  


He closed his eyes and stretched out, feeling a little stiff from holding the phone for so long. “Who was that?” He heard Jun try to ask innocently.

  
  


“Sakurai-san,” He answered, even though he knew that Jun would have already figured that much out. “He was just checking up on me,” Nino shrugged casually.

  
  


“Oh,” Jun said with a smile. “That's nice of him.” He then collected the dishes and left the room.

  
  


After that, Jun seemed to be more calm with him since he was giving him noticeably less looks of concern. They had a fairly relaxed evening, with the three of them watching TV after dinner. Even if the circumstances were not ideal, it felt nice to spend time with the two of them calmly. He made a mental note to spend more time with his brother.

 


	6. Chapter 6

Nino managed to sleep relatively well that night, so he was only a little grumpy when Jun woke him up. The drive back to his place was fairly quick, getting him home a bit before eight.   
  


  
It was a nice feeling being on his own again as he didn’t have to worry about bothering anyone else. When he went to turn on his PlayStation he noticed a green sticky note on top displaying a messily written message.    
  


_ You left a game on pause so I saved it (I think???) - Aiba. _

 

Nino smiled, he really appreciated how thoughtful he could be sometimes. He then turned on the game to see that it had been saved, he would have to thank Aiba later.   
  


  
He played games most of the day and wandered down the restaurant mid afternoon to find Aiba prepping for the evening. He asked Aiba when he would be allowed to work again, but Aiba dodged the question by serving Nino a generous serving of food and reassuring him that he and Toma were fine for the time being. Nino just nodded slightly and finished eating sulkingly before returning to his room.

  
  
He wasn’t sure when he had fallen asleep but the next thing he was aware of was a familiar  light knocking at his door. He listened to the sound for a few moments before he eventually flung himself out of bed, smoothing a hand over his hair to try and flatten it somewhat, before opening the door with a stifled yawn.   
  


  
“I’m sorry!” Sho, who was standing sheepishly in the hallway blurted instantly, “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

  
  
“It’s okay,” Nino said, rubbing his eyes a little. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep in the first place so it’s probably a good thing you did.” He smiled, moving aside to let Sho enter.   
  


  
“Oh, well if you are sure,” Sho walked timidly into Nino’s flat before standing in the middle of the room awkwardly. Then held a bag out to Nino, “I got you a few things.”   
  


  
“Oh,” Nino said surprised, “You didn’t have to do that.”   
  


  
“I know but…” Sho trailed off, avoiding Nino’s gaze then shrugged. “I wanted to.”   
  


  
Nino smiled, “Thank you, I appreciate it, really.” He sat down on the couch and gestured for Sho to do the same. He had a quick look in the bag, finding a box of the tea that Sho had made him a few nights back, and a jar of honey to go with it. Sho had also added a bag of assorted sweets and a punnet of strawberries. “Ahh this is so thoughtful of you, thanks!”   
  


  
He pulled out the strawberries and popped one into his mouth before offering them to Sho. “I just wanted to make sure you are okay.” Sho said quietly as he took a strawberry.   
  
  


“Seriously, I am fine. I told you it was nothing to worry about,” Nino said a little desperately, really wishing Sho would forget about it.   
  


  
“But you didn’t even tell me why you were in hospital,” Sho said a little desperately .

 

  
“I was out and I fainted, that's all. I went to hospital because someone called an ambulance. Just forget about it okay,” Nino said, frustration evident in his tone.   
  


  
There was an awkward silence for a few moments, before Sho said quietly, “I’m sorry.”   
  


  
Nino sighed, “It’s okay, I’m just tired of people worrying about me.”   
  


  
Aside from the awkward silence before, they managed to forget about it pretty quickly and fell back into their comfortable routine of talking about nothing especially important. Sho gave Nino an in depth analysis of a movie he had seen recently, covering all the good and bad points and Nino telling him about a game he played recently having a similar premise. They then went down and had some dinner from the restaurant, before returning back up to Nino’s flat and continued their talk.   
  


  
Time with Sho always seemed to fly by too fast, and before Nino knew it, Sho was- if somewhat reluctantly- excusing himself.   
  


  
Nino walked him over to the door, where they stopped to say goodbye, “When are you going back to work?” Sho asked as Nino opened the door.   
  


  
“I’m not too sure yet, but I don’t think Aiba will let me back tomorrow.”    
  


  
“I’ll come visit again tomorrow then?” Sho asked happily.   
  


  
“Yeah, I’d like that,” Nino smiled as Sho exited, standing just outside his door.   
  


  
“Well, I’ll see you tomorrow then,” Sho lifted his hand in a small wave while smiling goofily.   
  


  
Nino had meant to return the gesture of waving goodbye at Sho and wishing him safe travels. But instead he did something unthinkable, he closed the small space between them, leaning in and kissing the other man gently. As soon as he did it, he instantly regretted it as he felt Sho freeze with shock. He pulled away swiftly and saw Sho’s wide eyes staring back at him, lips forming a small ‘o’ in surprise. Nino panicked and immediately closed door, his heart was beating hard in his chest while regret washed over him in waves. What on earth had come over him?!   
  


  
As he leaned on the door, he was not sure if it was minutes or seconds that passed before he heard a gentle knock behind him. “Nino-kun,” He heard Sho say softly, “Can I have a minute, please?” Nino felt his heart beat harder, he was frozen. “I’m not upset, Nino-kun.”

  
  
Nino slowly gained courage to turn the doorknob and peeked outside to find Sho smiling at him reassuringly. “I’m-” But before he could say anything, Sho pushed the door open and closed the distance between them, putting a hand on the side of his head and drew him in. Their lips touched lightly, and somehow Nino’s heart beat slowed down despite the initial shock. It was only a gentle kiss and Nino could feel Sho was somewhat holding back. When they parted, Nino was out of breath and he felt warmth spread across his entire body.   
  


  
Sho beamed down at him, “Okay then! I better be off!” He announced happily. “I will see you tomorrow, Nino-chan” He said in a sing-song tone before walking off down the hall.   
  


  
It was hard to process that chain of events, at least for Nino at the moment anyway. He lightly touched his fingers against his lips, wondering if he had imagined everything that had just happened. In a daze, he closed the door, walked over to his futon and clumsily fell down on it. He landed awkwardly, but he didn’t bother to move and eventually drifting off to sleep.   
  


  
-   
  


  
He was woken up the next day by someone shaking him gently and he looked up to see Aiba smiling down at him. “Nino-kun, how are you feeling?”   
  


  
He shifted awkwardly onto his side, looking up at Aiba slowly. “I don’t know,” He said honestly, his voice squeaky from sleep. He had a sinking feeling of anxiety that had settled over him as soon as Sho left.   
  
  


“It’s well past midday and I hadn’t heard from you so I thought I would check on you, I hope that’s okay,” Aiba apologised. 

 

  
“It’s fine,” He said quietly.   
  


  
“Would you like some food?” Aiba asked but Nino shook his head. “You’re not feeling well?” Aiba asked again and felt Nino's forehead.   
  


  
Nino shrugged and pushed Aiba's hand away, he didn’t want to even begin to explain what had happened with Sho. Mostly because he couldn’t explain it to himself let alone anyone else. “I don’t think I will get up today.” He said in a quietly.

 

  
Aiba looked a little concerned, but tried not to let it show too much, “Well I guess you wouldn’t have all your strength back yet,” He reasoned. “It won’t hurt to rest up, I’ll bring some food up in case you feel like it.” Aiba said, getting up to leave.   
  


  
“Aiba-chan?” Nino called out before he could leave.   
  


  
“Yeah?” He said curiously, pausing in the doorway.   
  


  
“I don’t think I am sick,” He said quietly. Aiba’s silence prompting him to explain further, “I don’t know what to… It’s all too hard,” He finished quietly.   
  


  
“Nino-kun,” Aiba said softly, sounding torn.   
  


  
“I don’t want to see anyone today,” He said quietly. “So don’t tell J please, I just want to be alone.”   
  


  
Aiba was silent for a minute or two, lost in thought before saying, “Okay I won’t, I’ll make sure you are left alone.” He hated doing this to Aiba, but his friend had grown to understand that if you try and push Nino when he was in these moods then it could trigger worse outcomes. He knew how much they all hated leaving him alone, scared that he would do something stupid, but Nino knew that Aiba would keep an eye on him. Before Aiba turned to leave, he asked, “What if Sho-kun drops by later, do you want me to let him up?”   
  


  
“He won’t come,” Nino stated, leaving no room for argument.   
  


  
He heard Aiba hesitate before asking softly, “Did something happen between you two?”   
  


  
But Nino just stayed silent, and after a few moments, he heard Aiba quietly leave. Of course Sho wouldn’t want to come back, not after Nino kissed him like that. He couldn’t understand why Sho had returned the kiss, but by this point, he had pretty much convinced himself that Sho was just making fun of him. Sho wouldn’t be coming back.   
  


  
Some time later he heard Aiba return with a tray of food, setting it silently on the table before leaving without a word. A few other times Nino heard his door click open for a minute or two and he assumed Aiba was checking that he was still breathing, before it would close again.   
  


  
He was constantly drifting in and out of a light sleep, though never feeling rested. He didn’t touch his food, as he did not see the point of sustaining himself.   
  
  


He wasn’t sure what time it was when Aiba returned, flicking on his lamp against the now darkness of the room. “Nino?” Aiba called out softly as he knelt down next to his futon, Nino opened his eyes but winced and shut them again. A few moments later, he opened them again when his eyes adjusted and looked up at Aiba to acknowledge his presence. “I know you don’t want to be bothered, but Sakurai-kun is asking to see you so I wanted to check”   
  
  


Nino’s eyebrows knitted together in confusion, “Sho-chan?”   
  


  
Aiba smiled, “Yeah, he really wants to see you, it should be okay right? Just for a little while?”   
  


  
Nino pushed himself up quickly but losing his balance almost immediately, Aiba quickly catching him and sat him back on his futon. “Why?” Nino asked, sounding genuinely confused.   
  


  
“He didn’t tell you he was coming?” Aiba asked kindly.   
  


  
“I…” Nino looked into Aiba’s warm eyes, “I don’t know,” He said quietly.   
  


  
Aiba just smiled, “That’s okay, it’s not a big deal.” Aiba stood up, “I’ll send him up.”   
  


  
He nodded slightly, then looked around the room. The food Aiba had brought up was sitting cold on his table. Nino cringed at the smell of stale sweat that lingered on him and he knew it probably wouldn’t escape Sho’s notice that he was still wearing the same clothes from last night.   
  


  
Knowing that any attempt of trying and make himself look any better were futile, he pulled his himself clumsily onto the couch and drew his knees up so he was sat in a tight little ball. He pulled the hood of his hoodie over his head, in a poor attempt to hide as much as he could.   
  


  
He imagined Sho storming in and yelling at Nino, yelling about how disgusting he was and how no one would ever need him. He was shaking by the time he heard the door click open and shut his eyes, Aiba must have left it unlocked.

  
  
“Nino-kun?” He heard Sho say and Nino opened his eyes as Sho crossed the room purposefully to where he sat. “Oh gosh, Nino are you okay?” Sho reached out a hand to Nino’s back, but Nino flinched away from him, tightening his arms around his legs. Sho looked hurt, “What’s wrong?” He asked desperately.   
  


  
“Sho-chan,” Nino started, looking away and with voice trembling, “I’m sorry.”   
  
  


“Sorry? What for?” Sho asked confused.   
  
  


“About last night… I…” Nino said, voice breaking on the words.   
  
  


Sho looked confused before asking softly, “The kiss?” Nino nodded and Sho sighed, “Did I upset you?”   
  
  


Nino shook his head and looked sadly at him, “But I… Without asking…”   
  
  


Sho looked contemplative before saying, “I must admit you surprised me a little, but it was a pleasant surprise.” Sho looked kindly at Nino, who just stared intently back at him. “I thought I had made it pretty obvious how I felt last night.”   
  


  
Then without warning, Sho pulled Nino onto his lap, so the smaller man was facing him. Nino was surprised but made no attempt of moving away, Sho’s hands on his waist to keep him steady. “Ninomiya-san,” Sho started politely, “I like you.” Nino just stared back at him with wide eyes, did he hear correctly? “Do you like me?” Sho then asked.   
  


  
Once the words left Sho’s mouth, Nino couldn't help but blush and nod slightly. But Sho, wanting a proper confession from the other, lifted a hand to his ear playfully, prompting him to say it. Nino, taking the hint, replied quietly “I like you too,” and Sho smiled.   
  


 

“Great!” Sho said happily, leaning up a bit closer, “Nino, can I kiss you?” he whispered.   
  


  
Nino felt his face burn red even more as he nodded, then in one swift movement, Sho leaned forward and their lips met. This kiss was slightly more purposeful than the one they shared last night, but it was still gentle and sweet. Nino felt warmth tingle over every inch of his skin and sparking when Sho pulled him in closer. Suddenly, Nino felt a wave of dizziness as the blood rushed to his head and his vision grew blotchy, so he quickly pushed away, breaking the kiss.   
  


  
Sho then pulled Nino into a gentle embrace, letting Nino’s head fall gently on his shoulder. His head was spinning and the lack of food probably not helping with the sudden head rush, so Nino closed his eyes and focused on his breathing.   
  


  
“Why did you think I would be upset with you?” Sho asked a little sadly.   
  


  
Nino shrugged and pulled away from Sho. He suddenly felt extremely uncomfortable with Sho being so close to him since he couldn’t imagine what he must look like to Sho and clear that he had been moping all day. A familiar heavy feeling of self loathing weighing over him.   
  


  
He didn’t want Sho to see him like this, to see how truly weak he was. He could blame it on being sick but even that didn’t make much sense. His thoughts were racing through his mind as he stood up and started pacing erratically around the couch, unable to sit still any longer.   
  


  
“Nino?” He heard Sho asked, sounding confused. Nino didn’t know what to do but he was trapped, trapped here with Sho.  After a few moments of this Sho moved to him, closing him in a firm hug.   
  


  
  


Nino stilled instantly and a whimper escaped him. “I’m sorry,” He whispered desperately.   
  


  
Sho hushed him, “It’s alright” Sho said as he started rubbing light circles over his back in a soothing action. “You haven’t eaten much today have you?” Sho asked and Nino shook his head. “And you're still probably not feeling so well after being sick?” Nino nodded in response. “I think I just overloaded your brain a little, right?” Nino stayed still against Sho with his head on his chest, listening to the sound of his heart beating. Nino nodded slowly.   
  


  
Sho gave him a little squeeze, then moved Nino back to the couch, guiding him to sit. “Well let's get your brain back for starters.” Before Nino could even process the information, Sho stood up and left the room. Nino drew his legs up again and hugged them tight against his body. A few minutes later Sho reappeared, concentrating hard on not spilling the steaming tray of food he carried.   
  


  
Nino shifted over slowly to the small table where Sho set the meal, avoiding his gaze. Nino would have to thank Aiba, who had made a hearty meal, with grilled fish and vegetables, things that were not on the menu downstairs. They ate in silence with the occasional sound of appreciation coming from Sho. He didn’t end up eating much, but Sho didn’t seem to mind, happy that he had at least eaten something.   
  


  
After they had finished, Sho nudged Nino in the direction of the bathroom, prompting him to take a bath. It took a fair amount of concentration for Nino to not zone out like he tended to when bathing. But being naked when Sho was in the other room put him on edge so Nino hurried as much as he could while still making sure he washed thoroughly.   
  


  
Once he was done, he casually joined Sho on the couch where he was watching some generic variety show on Nino’s tiny television. Sho looked over at him and smiled, and weakly Nino returned it. Sho then lifted his arm up, gesturing for Nino to slide over to him. Nino did so tentatively, leaning against him and Sho wound his arm around Nino’s body.   
  


  
It felt very strange to be this close to Sho, he felt tense because he couldn’t understand why Sho was acting like this. Why would anyone like him? Especially after seeing what a mess he was. Sho gave Nino a reassuring squeeze, looking down at him with a small smile.   
  


  
He wasn’t sure how long it took him to relax but eventually Sho’s steady breathing and warmth mirrored in Nino and he felt himself calming. As sleepiness creeped up on him, he let his mind wander, forgetting himself and just living the fantasy world that Sho represented.  
  
  


Having a relationship with someone was something Nino had never allowed himself to do because he was not worth anyone's time in that way. But for a moment, he let himself imagine being with Sho in the same way that Ohno was with Jun. Just having that constant presence that he could rely on to be there. Lost in his thoughts he managed to drift off to sleep, Sho steadily at his side.   
  


  
-   
  


  
His back was sore and his face felt numb when he woke and it took him a moment to realise he was still pressed against Sho, who was now snoring lightly. Feeling a little embarrassed, Nino tried to carefully pry himself away from the sleeping man, but Sho still had his arm wrapped around him protectively. Just as Nino managed to escape the embrace, he lost his balance, effectively falling over and landing right on top of Sho with a thud.   
  
  


Sho woke immediately and winced at sudden contact. Nino shuffled off him as fast as possible, “Sorry! I’m sorry!” Nino said quickly.   
  


  
Sho looked a little disoriented as he looked around the room then at Nino, he let out a yawn, “Nino?”   
  


  
“Sorry I was trying to get up but I-” Nino started to explain quickly before Sho cut him off.   
  


  
“It’s okay, I just…” He drifted off then realisation struck his face. “What time is it?!”   
  


  
“Just a sec,” Nino hurried to find his phone, “It’s almost seven.”   
  


  
Sho looked relieved at this, sitting up and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “Ahh thank goodness, I was worried I had overslept.”   
  


  
Nino watched Sho cautiously, “...Sorry.”   
  
  


Sho turned to look at Nino as if only just remembering he was there, “Huh? I’m not upset or anything, just my boss would have been super angry if I was late.”   
  


  
Nino didn’t really know how to address the ‘why are you not bothered by waking up on my couch’- elephant in the room, so he just asked, “What time do you start?”   
  


  
“Nine, but if I leave here at eight thirty, I will make it on time. The office isn't too far from here actually.” Sho said thoughtfully.   
  


  
“Are you sure it’s okay? What about your clothes?” Sho had discarded his tie and jacket last night, but his shirt and pants were creased and wrinkled all over.   
  


  
Sho shrugged, “I can’t be bothered with going back to my place, knowing me, I would be late if I did.”   
  


  
“Oh I see…” Nino said.   
  


  
“Plus, I would rather spend the time with you,” He smiled.   
  


  
“Why?” He couldn’t stop himself from asking, the anxiety monster rearing its ugly head.   
  


  
Sho looked confused but shrugged it off, “Because I like spending time with you,” He said simply.   
  


  
“Yeah, but why?” Nino asked again, furrowing his brows.   
  


  
“Why what?” Sho retorted.   
  


  
“Why do you like spending time with me?” Nino sounded and looked very serious.   
  


  
Sho rolled his eyes and then shifted over to where Nino was, “I just do, silly.” And then drew Nino in for a hug but stopped himself at arm's length, looking thoughtful. “Well why do you like spending time with me? Assuming you do that is.”   
  


  
Because I can forget how terrible my life is when I am with you. He thought, but Nino just smirked and mimicked, “I just do, silly.” Before drawing himself into Sho’s waiting arms.   
  


  
They embraced for a little while before Sho asked if he could have a quick shower. Nino steered him in the direction of the bathroom, then set about making coffee. He had to keep recounting the spoons of coffee as he kept getting distracted by thoughts of Sho naked in his bathroom clouded his mind.    
  


  
They had a relaxed morning but eventually Sho announced with a sigh that he had to go. They said goodbye and Sho leant in for a small kiss on the way out.   
  


  
“I’ll see you tonight?” Sho asked hopefully.   
  


  
Nino just nodded and waved, Sho beaming back at him goofily before heading off.   
  


  
After that, Nino collapsed on his couch and took a couple of deep breaths as he let everything sink in. This time it felt more real.   
  
  


-   
  


  
Around lunch time, he headed downstairs to find Aiba, who was working in the restaurant as usual.   
  


  
“Hey Aiba-chan,” He said cheerily as he shuffled downstairs, a big smile adorning his face.   
  


  
“Ahh you are feeling better today?” Aiba asked.   
  


  
Nino nodded as he rustled around the kitchen for food before sitting at the counter to eat.   
  


  
“That’s a relief.” he sighed. “I’ve got Toma-chan to cover for you again tonight, but if you want to work tomorrow, that would be great.”   
  


  
“Yeah that sounds good, I’ve missed it.” Nino said happily.   
  


  
There was a few minutes of silence, but Nino could not help but notice Aiba staring at him while he was wiping the glasses. Finally the Aiba broke the silence saying, “So…”   
  


  
Nino looked up confused, “So… What?”   
  


  
“So I noticed Sakurai-san stayed over last night…” Aiba said attempting to hide his curiosity behind a casual tone and failing miserably.   
  


  
Nino felt his face burn with embarrassment before defending, “Yeah, so?”   
  


  
“Oh nothing, I was just wondering, I guess.” Aiba said airly, “Did you guys… you know?”   
  


  
At this, Nino choked on his mouthful of food, “What?” He spluttered, “No way! Geez Aiba!”   
  


  
“Well I just wasn’t sure why he stayed, he has work today doesn’t he?” Aiba asked.   
  


  
Nino looked annoyed at Aiba’s questioning, “He stayed over because some idiot let him up into my flat yesterday even after I had said I didn’t want to be bothered. Plus, he stayed because he felt the need to look after me. It wouldn’t have happened if some idiot had realised I was a wreck and shouldn’t have had visitors.” Nino ranted, huffing out a breath in frustration when he was done.   
  


  
“I’m sorry but he was extremely persistent,” Aiba said a little guiltily. “I didn’t think you would mind too much.” he continued wiping with a pout on his face.   
  


  
“It was embarrassing,” Nino whined, “He knew that I hadn’t eaten or showered or anything, I must have looked like a mess.”

  
  
“But he wanted to help right? So clearly he wasn’t very bothered about your lack of nutrition and hygiene,” Aiba reasoned.   
  


  
“I kissed him,” Nino blurted out, not sure why.   
  


  
“Ehhh?!” Aiba looked stunned and halted his actions, “You did what?! When?!”   
  
“A few nights back, I’m not sure why I did but…” Nino thought back to Sho, kissing him passionately in the doorway, “Last night he told me he liked me.”   
  


  
“Oh my god Nino, is this for real? What did you say?” Aiba asked, sounding a little too much like a teenage girl who had just heard some juicy gossip, completely neglecting his work now.   
  


  
“I told him that I liked him back,” Nino replied.   
  
  


“So are you two like…” Aiba paused, “Dating now?”   
  


  
“I’m not sure it's like that…” Nino said thoughtfully then gave a hard stare at Aiba. “Swear to me you won’t tell J, I don’t need him being all smug and all ‘I told you so’ about it.” Nino groaned just thinking about his brother’s reaction.   
  
  


“It’s fine, it’s fine, you know I won’t say anything,” Aiba reassured. “But I’m kind of surprised you told me…”   
  


  
“I didn’t want you to have the wrong idea about last night,” Nino said firmly. “And plus I kind of 

wanted to tell someone, it doesn’t really feel real…” Nino trailed off.   
  


  
“I wouldn’t worry,” Aiba said, and Nino gave him a questioning look. “It’s pretty obvious that you are both super into each other.” He smiled cheekily.   
  
“Whatever,” Nino dismissed it with a wave, getting up to clear his dishes and retreating back upstairs. He was so grateful to have Aiba sometimes, since he was the only one Nino felt he could talk openly with. Aiba would never pester him about a topic and just let Nino say what he wanted.   
  


  
Nino used to talk like that with Ohno, but since Ohno and Jun got together, he tried to distance himself as much as possible. It’s not that Nino thought Ohno would tell Jun everything, he just didn’t want to be a burden on them, especially his brother.   
  
  


-   
  


  
That night when Sho arrived, his greeting changed from his usual awkward wave to a desperate kiss. Nino, who still had a little trouble understanding that someone actually found him attractive, froze immediately at contact. Sho pulled back almost as soon as he felt it, unable to hide the flicker of frustration that flashed across his face. “This is okay right?” Sho asked a little desperately.   
  


  
He felt a drop of guilt in his stomach, though it was no surprise that he had managed to disappoint the one person who actually liked him. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly, avoiding Sho’s gaze.   
  


  
He felt Sho place a hand on his cheek, gently moving his head to meet his gaze. Sho was smiling kindly, “It’s okay, I guess maybe I was moving things a bit too quickly.” He said softly with his hand still gently cupping Nino’s cheek.   
  


  
Nino shook his head, “No it’s okay, I liked it.” He assured. “ I guess… I’m just confused…” He said in a small voice.

  
  
At this, Sho immediately retracted his hand as if Nino’s words had stung him. “I’m sorry, I didn’t even think…” He trailed off, hurt plain on his features. “Is it a problem? Because I am a man?” He asked, looking dejected.   
  


  
“What?” Nino asked, genuinely confused. “Of course not, do you seriously think I would have a problem with that?”   
  


  
“Well it is the first thing that comes to mind…” Sho said warily.   
  


  
“No, I don’t really have a preference to be honest,” Nino said quietly .   
  


  
“Then what is the problem?”   
  


  
“I guess…” 

. “It’s 

been a while…” Nino trailed off awkwardly.   
  


  
A while was somewhat of an understatement. Nino had had a fair few one night stands, but in relationship terms, Nino had zero experience. The closest he ever got to a relationship was Ohno, and thinking about that now just makes him realise how foolish he had been. Ohno and Jun are happy, and Nino is alone, that is how it is meant to be.   
  


  
“Oh I see,” Sho seemed to contemplate this for a while before smiling, “It’s okay, we can go as fast or as slow as you want.”   
  


  
Nino was a little unsure on how to respond to Sho, so he just pulled the man into his flat, closed the door and drew him into a soft kiss as he wrapped his arms loosely around the taller’s neck. When he broke the kiss, he rested his head on Sho’s shoulder and whispered, “Do you really like me?”   
  


  
Sho pulled Nino tighter into his arms, ruffling his hair a little saying, “Of course I do, you have been driving me crazy since we met.”   
  


  
Nino frowned and glanced up at Sho, “I don’t get it.”   
  


  
“That’s okay,” Sho smiled. “You don’t have to.” He leaned forward and they shared another tender kiss. Nino couldn’t help but smile as their lips met..   
  


  
The rest of the evening they spent lazily, they made out for a while before curling up on the couch together and watching TV. Nino loved the feeling of Sho’s presence with his warm body wrapped haphazardly around Nino’s small figure. It was a little strange at how easily they fell into this little domestic routine, but for the time being, it was perfect.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments and kudos! 
> 
> Beta credit goes to indigo-lover@livejournal, Thanks!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta credit goes to the amazing indigo-lover@livejournal ♥

The next day, he had started working again, which was mostly a relief. Even though Sho seemed a little upset that he couldn’t have Nino’s undivided attention in the evenings anymore, he still came in like clockwork, and without even being asked would help them pack up. Though this had an ulterior motive as he would pull Nino into passionate kisses as soon as the door was locked.   
  


  
Because of this, Nino had decided to be pretty open with Aiba, as he had accidentally interrupted a few of their post work make-out sessions. It didn’t really bother Nino that Aiba knew, if anything, Aiba seemed happy about the latest development. But Nino had sworn Aiba to secrecy as far as his brother and Ohno were concerned and he expected it to stay that way. He felt a little bad about not being honest with his brother, but he liked keeping Sho as far away from his troubles as possible. Nino knew that Jun would want him to be honest with Sho, which is something he did not want to think about in the slightest.   
  


  
About a week after they had fallen into this routine, Nino woke to a text from Sho.   
  


  
‘You have tomorrow off right? Will you be free?’ Nino squinted at the bright phone screen, seeing that he had received the message around when Sho left for work. He punched out a quick reply.   
  


  
‘Yeah I don’t have plans. What’s up?’ Nino was shocked when he received a reply only a few moments later.   
  


  
‘Wanna go on a date with me?’ Nino stared at the words on his screen, not too sure on how to respond.   
  


  
He settled on a short ‘Ok.’ Resisting the urge to tease Sho.   
  


  
‘Yay! Can I stay over tonight so we can leave early tomorrow? I’ve got something in mind.’   
  


  
‘Early?’ Leave it to Sho to plan a morning date.   
  


  
‘You can sleep on the way.’   
  


  
‘Urgh. Fine. I’ll see you tonight.’   
  
  


-   
  


  
When Sho arrived in the restaurant that evening, he was carrying an overnight bag over his shoulder. Nino made him take it up to his flat before he took his seat at the counter to stare at Nino all evening. It was surprisingly quiet for a Friday night so they got to close up relatively early. When they stumbled up the stairs to Nino’s flat, he realised that this was the first time Sho was staying over, well that had been planned anyway.   
  


  
As they were getting ready for bed, Nino said casually, “I’ll take the couch and you can have the futon,” Considering that Ohno and Jun stayed over quite regularly it was a little odd that he only had the one futon but Nino never really thought about it.   
  


  
“You don’t just want to share the futon? I think it would be comfier than the couch, don’t you?” Sho asked innocently.   
  


  
Nino cursed his heart for beating a little faster at the suggestion. “Yeah I guess,” He said in a small voice, avoiding Sho’s gaze. They had been making out almost daily, but for some reason sleeping side by side felt more intimate, which made Nino nervous.   
  


  
Sho got into bed first, stretching out before patting the space next to him. Nino carefully slid into that space but was careful not to touch Sho. Nino closed his eyes and took a deep breath before Sho narrowed the space between them, wrapping his arms around Nino. “You seem tense,” Sho whispered.   
  


  
“Sorry,” Sho was right, but Nino didn’t really know if he could fix it.   
  


  
Sho just pulled Nino closer, embracing him until he heard Sho’s breathing even out, signalling that he had fallen asleep. Nino couldn’t sleep though, apparently according to his brain it was time to remind him of every possible way this could go wrong. The most alarming possibility of these scenarios was Nino’s tendency to lose grip on reality, slipping into a horrific replay of past events. Nino spent most of the night staring at the ceiling, hyper aware of every creak in the building, every gust of wind and each breath Sho took. Every time he drifted off, he would snap awake moments later, fearing he would lose himself if he slept.   
  


  
Eventually he felt Sho shaking his shoulder gently, rousing him from the short sleep he had managed at dawn. “Morning,” He said with a soft smile. Even though Nino had a terrible sleep beside Sho, he couldn’t help returning the smile fondly.   
  


  
Nino stretched out his stiff muscles and pulled himself up slowly, he probably looked like a mess but he didn’t really have the capacity to care. He went to say something but ended up coughing due to the dryness in his throat. Sho handed him some water and after a sip, he tried again. “What time is it?” His voice still sounded croaky.   
  


  
“Seven thirty,” Sho said happily, but Nino groaned and flopped back onto the futon. “What?! It isn't even that early!” Sho said defensively.   
  


  
“Aren't dates usually at night? Like going to a restaurant or the cinema? Why are are we having a morning date,” Nino whined, more of a complaint than a genuine question.   
  


  
“We always see each other at night! I thought it be fun to get out and do something a bit different,” Sho said, sounding a little desperate.   
  


  
“I still don’t get why we have to be awake now though,” Nino grumbled.   
  


  
“Well, since our schedules don’t really match up very well, I planned a lot of things to do to make up for it,” Sho said innocently. Nino looked up into his puppy dog eyes and couldn’t bring himself to argue anymore. He pulled himself up and gave Sho a quick kiss before getting up to change.   
  


  
They agreed to get some breakfast on the way as neither of them could be particularly bothered to cook anything. Nino was feeling extremely exhausted but he tried to cover it for Sho, who just seemed to think Nino wasn’t a morning person. In fairness that was also true, but he was much more of a morning person when he had had a full night's sleep. When they got to the car, Nino tried to ask Sho what they were actually going to do that day, but Sho dodged the question.   
  


  
Almost as soon as they started driving, Nino drifted off to sleep, unable to fight the heaviness of his eyelids. He woke up again only when he felt Sho shaking him for the second time that morning. Nino looked out the window sleepily and noticed that they were parked in a large car park but he couldn’t tell where exactly they were.   
  


  
“I got you a coffee and some breakfast,” Sho said gesturing to a pastry on the dash and the cup in the holder beside him.   
  


  
“When did you do that?” Nino said a little confused, he hadn't even noticed them stop.   
  


  
“We were running ahead of schedule so I stopped at a bakery,” Sho said, seemingly pleased with himself. “You were fast asleep and I figured it would be easier just to leave you that way.”   
  


  
“I guess…” Nino said, his head felt foggy. “Thanks.”   
  


  
“We still have about ten minutes before it opens so you can eat in the car if you want.”   
  


  
Nino nodded and picked up the coffee to take a sip, pulling the pastry towards him. He didn’t feel hungry at all, if anything he felt a little sick after waking. “I might save this,” He said, indicating the pastry.   
  


  
“Don’t you like it? I should have checked…” Sho said disappointed.   
  


  
“No it’s fine, I just don’t usually eat first thing. Just the coffee will be fine.” He gave Sho a reassuring smile. Sho didn’t seem satisfied with his excuse but he didn’t push the subject.   
  


  
-   
  


  
So it turned out that Sho had decided to take Nino to the Zoo, and this was apparently not all Sho had planned for the day. He reasoned that they should go to all the typical date spots, just to get them out of the way. He also seemed to think this would be fun, which quite frankly baffled Nino entirely.   
  
  


Sho appeared to have created a very precise itinerary for the day, reassuring Nino that they would not miss anything. Nino was too stunned to have any sort of objection so he simply followed Sho around to keeper talks and animal shows, giving the odd nod and grunt to show that he was listening.

  
  


As much Nino did not have the energy for any of this, he felt happy watching Sho wonder around. He was wearing black jeans which fitted him flawlessly so that Nino had to stop his gaze drifting south.    
  


  
His lack of sleep was also making it hard to concentrate on anything besides Sho’’s rear, who seemed to notice him struggling and asked every now again if he was okay but Nino would just nod dismissively.   
  


  
About an hour after they arrived, the crowds started getting larger. It was a weekend so there were many families out enjoying the decent weather. Nino didn’t pay much attention at first, but when the crowds started thickening he felt his skin crawl with anxiety. He remembered the day at the park when he had collapsed, and there was barely anyone around that day.    
  


  
But as they dodged the crowd to get to whatever was next on Sho’s list, Nino heard a child scream. He froze and his heart immediately started pounding in his chest, eyes darting to the source of the noise. A kid had dropped his ice cream on the ground, and even though Nino knew this was nothing to get worked up about, he couldn’t stop the panic starting to engulf his entire body.   
  


  
He heard Sho saying something next to him and felt him put a hand on his shoulder, but he couldn’t make out his words. Instead he just muttered a hasty, “I’m going to the bathroom.” Before darting off.   
  


  
He did find a bathroom eventually, but there was a huge line, so instead he ducked off the path and snuck behind the cubicle. Just needing a moment to himself, he was stuck here with no good excuse to ditch. He considered just running away and catching the train home, just pretending it had never happened. But he couldn’t do that to Sho.   
  


  
He pulled out his phone and started flicking through the contacts. He considered calling Aiba because he knew about Sho, but Nino couldn’t see how that would be helpful at the moment. Aiba wasn’t overly great at coming up with quick solutions. Mind made up, he scrolled quickly past his brother’s name until he found Ohno’s number and hitting call. Ohno was the best person to talk to when Nino was freaking out because he was great at staying calm and just listening, which made Nino feel calm as well. He knew this would mean that both of them would find out about Sho but at this point he didn’t care.   
  


  
The phone rang a few times before Nino heard it connect. “Kazu-chan?” It was Jun. His brother was not so good to talk to at times like these, because he tended to get just as worked up as Nino.   
  


  
“Is Oh-chan there?” Nino said quickly, his heart was still racing.   
  


  
“No, he just went to the store to get some stuff for lunch.” Jun said casually.   
  


  
“And forgot his phone?” Nino could hear how shaky his voice sounded but he hoped his brother wouldn’t notice.   
  


  
“Yeah of course he did, you know Oh-chan,” Jun said, sounding a little frustrated at his partner. “What’s up Kazu? You sound a little upset.”   
  


  
“I just wanted… To talk to Satoshi…” Nino managed to say between breaths.

 

  
“Kazu?” Jun sounded worried, “What happened?”   
  


  
“Nothing. Really. I’m just having a moment.” He tried to focus on breathing evenly but his racing thoughts made it difficult. Jun knew that Nino liked to talk to Ohno and he didn’t mind at all, but Nino knew Jun wouldn't leave him like this.   
  


  
“Where are you? Are you at home? Is Aiba there? I can call him for you, you know he doesn’t mind sitting with you when you’re upset. Or I can drive over? I’ve got nothing on so it wouldn’t be a bother.” Jun rambled endless questions.   
  


  
“No. No. I’m not at home J,” Nino tried to hush him.   
  


  
“Oh gosh are you alone? Have you hurt yourself? Tell me where you are and I will come get you,” His brother said firmly.   
  


  
“I’m with Sho!” He snapped. “I’m fine, I haven't done anything stupid.”   
  


  
“You’re with Sh- Sakurai-san?” Jun sounded confused.   
  


  
Nino sighed, knowing he would have to spill everything now. “He took me to the Zoo today…”    
  


  
There was a moment's silence before Jun stated, “Why on earth did you agree to that?”   
  


  
“He didn’t tell me where we were going, he wanted to surprise me,” Nino replied, frustration building.   
  


  
“Umm okay, sounds like you are telling me that you’re on a zoo date with Sho,” Jun teased.   
  


  
Nino took a deep breath, but it didn’t help him feel better “Well yeah, that’s exactly what I am saying.”   
  


  
There was a short pause before Nino heard Jun laughing. “That's adorable!”   
  


  
Nino felt even worse now as his panic mixed with his frustration. “Nevermind!” He hung up, letting himself slump onto the ground unable to feel calm. A second later, his phone was buzzing in his hand, caller ID reading Ohno.   
  


  
He sighed and answered, not saying anything. “Kazu? I’m sorry! You surprised me, please tell me what’s wrong?” Jun asked sounding a little desperate.   
  


  
“There’s too many people.” He said quietly.   
  


  
“Where’s Sakurai-san? Is he with you now?” Jun asked softly.   
  


  
“No I freaked out and ran away from him.” Nino sighed.   
  


  
“Oh…” Jun contemplated his response carefully. “Did you have a fight with him?”   
  


  
“No, he hasn’t done anything wrong.” Nino knew his brother had a thousand questions he was holding back. “We have been seeing each other recently so he wanted to take me out for a date,” Nino sighed, rubbing his temples with his free hand.   
  


  
“It’s a bit too much for you though, isn’t it?”Jun asked softly.   
  


  
“Yeah,” Nino felt tears sting his eyes, “I barely slept last night and there are so many people here.” He clenched his fist and brought it to his chest to try and relieve the tension in his body. “I just-” He started, “I’m scared that I’ll-”   
  


  
“Sakurai-san doesn't know about what happened does he?” Jun asked softly, sadness staining his words.   
  


  
“No, I don’t want him to know.” Nino said quickly, panicking more at the thought of Sho finding out.   
  


  
“But you are going to have to explain why this is so hard for you, otherwise he might think that he is the problem.” Jun said a little cautiously.   
  


  
“I know! I just don’t know what to do! I don’t want to flake out halfway through but I don’t know how much longer I can stand this!” He ranted desperately.   
  


  
“It’s okay Kazu, we’ll think of something,” Jun said soothingly. “I think the simplest option here is to tell him you are not feeling well, you don’t have to go into details.”   
  


  
“Yeah I guess…” He hated having to admit how useless he was, so he wasn’t exactly looking forward to this confession.   
  


  
“He will understand,” Jun said softly.   
  


  
“Yeah…” Though Nino wasn’t convinced. “Thanks J, I better go,” At least he had managed to to slow down his racing heart.   
  


  
“Call me later?” Jun asked quickly.   
  


  
“Yeah,” He couldn’t be bothered with arguing and he knew he would have to spill everything now anyway. “Bye.” He hung up, pulling his arms around his knees to hug himself tightly.   
  


  
He could still hear the echoing crowd from the other side of the toilet block, and he knew he would have to go find Sho eventually, but he couldn’t face him just yet. He felt his phone buzz again, accompanied by the annoying ringtone, but he didn’t bother to check. It rang a few times as Nino sat there, wallowing in his thoughts.   
  


  
A few minutes later, he heard someone approaching him. He looked up, expecting to see one of the staff ready to scold him. Instead, he was met with a rather confused looking Sho. “Nino?”   
  


  
He froze under Sho’s gaze, stuttering to explain, “I- Uh I- Sorry- I just-”   
  


  
Sho quickly crossed the distance between them and knelt down beside him. “Are you okay? You don’t look very good,” Sho said, seeming to notice Nino’s sleep deprived features for the first time today.

  
  
“I don’t feel very well,” Nino admitted quietly. “I’m sorry,” He added.   
  


  
Sho lifted a hand to Nino’s forehead, frowning a little. “You don’t have a fever, is it your stomach? You haven't eaten anything today.”   
  


  
“I have a headache,” Which was mostly true. “It’s a bit loud here.”   
  


  
“Ahh your right. Do you want to go back to the car for some quiet? You can have a nap if you want?” Sho asked.   
  


  
“I don’t want to ruin your plans though…” Nino said guiltily.   
  


  
“Don’t worry, I might have been pushing you a little too hard with my schedule.” Sho said sheepishly. They made their way to the exit quietly, Nino blushing as Sho held a protective arm around his shoulder.   
  


  
When they got back to the car, Sho asked, “Do you wanna call it quits for today? I can take you home if you like?”   
  


  
“I was looking forward to spending the whole day with you though…” Nino said a little shyly.   
  


  
“But you probably need to rest right?” Sho seemed concerned.   
  


  
Nino frowned, feeling his enthusiasm drop. “Yeah, I suppose.” He turned to look out the window, avoiding Sho’s gaze.   
  


  
“Or… My place is closer, if you want to go there for a bit,” Sho said a little sheepishly.   
  


  
Nino turned to Sho, who was smiling nervously, “Is that really okay?”   
  


  
“Yeah, I mean it’s not much but you can have a rest in my bed if you want?” Sho offered.   
  


  
“I’d like that.” Nino smiled a little. It didn’t take them very long to get to Sho’s place, he lived in an apartment block that looked similar to his brother’s, just a little older and smaller. Sho’s flat looked much cleaner than his, but he didn’t seem to have many belongings. There were basic furniture and a few boxes still left over from moving in.   
  


  
Sho showed him to his bedroom and Nino took a nap while Sho went out to the convenience store down the street. He had admitted that didn’t really cook so there wasn’t much food about and it was getting close to lunchtime.   


  
At first Nino thought he would never be able to sleep in Sho’s bed but the moment he lay down with his head on the pillow, all he could smell was a linger of Sho’s scent. It was distracting at first, but after a while it became strangely calming. Before he had even realised he had fallen asleep, he was waking up feeling refreshed. He was extremely thankful that he had managed to sleep dreamlessly, hoping this meant that he hadn’t done anything to alarm Sho.   
  


  
After stretching out, he found Sho in the lounge room, curled up on the couch reading what looked like a very uninteresting book. He looked up at Nino and smiled when he sat down next to Sho, cuddling up to him. “Did you sleep okay?” Sho asked, drawing an arm around Nino and pulling him closer.   
  


  
“Yeah, I feel heaps better,” Nino said sleepily, closing his eyes and listening to Sho’s steady heart beat.   
  


 

  
“I’m glad,” He said simply, then kissed Nino’s crown gently. Looking up, Nino then pecked Sho’s lips and they swapped lazy kisses for a while, neither feeling a particular need to rush. Just as their kisses became deeper and more passionate, they were interrupted by an embarrassingly loud grumble from Nino’s stomach.   
  


  
Sho paused and Nino pulled away, cheeks flushing with embarrassment. But Sho merely laughed it off, “I got you a bento at the store earlier, you should probably eat.” Sho smiled.   
  


  
Nino nodded shyly, still not quite free from his embarrassment. Nino ate at the table while Sho made them some tea, which was a little bitter for Nino’s taste but he thanked Sho anyway. “I didn’t know how long you would be asleep so I ate without you, I hope you don’t mind.” Sho said a little sheepishly.   
  


  
“I kind of figured you would, there is no getting between you and food is there,” Nino teased. 

  
  


Sho just pouted in response, “What time is it anyway? I didn’t sleep too long did I?”   
  


  
“Nah you’re fine, it's about three-ish,” Sho smiled.   
  


  
“I wasted most of our day together though,” Nino sighed unhappily.   
  


  
“That’s not true, I mean you don’t have work tonight right?” Nino shook his head, “Well you could always stay over if you want,” Sho said a little too casually, getting up to busy himself with clearing the dishes.   
  


  
“As long as you don’t mind… That would be okay,” As much as he knew it would probably end badly, the desire to potentially get laid tonight seemed worth the risk.   
  


  
Nino got up and moved over to where Sho was standing, wrapping Sho up in a hug from behind. He leaned up on his toes and rested his head on Sho’s shoulder, planting a few kisses on the line of his jaw. Sho smiled and turned around, embracing Nino softly. They exchanged a few tender kisses before Sho said cheekily, “Well do you have any ideas on how we can spend our evening?”   
  


  
Nino returned the smile, “Oh, I’m sure we can think of something.” Sho pulled Nino over to the couch, pushing Nino underneath him as they kissed. Their actions were more passionate now, but they weren't rushed. Each taking the time to explore each other completely, Nino taking in the smooth muscles of Sho’s torso when he managed to slip a hand under Sho’s shirt, which caused the latter’s breath to hitch for a moment. Nino then started fumbling the buttons of Sho’s shirt and their kisses became more eager as Nino undressed him little by little.   
  


  
Once Sho’s chest was bare, Nino pulled away from Sho’s mouth to start trailing kisses down his neck. Nino was not surprised to find lean muscles, but it was a little intoxicating being so close. Sho was just as attractive as Nino had imagined.   
  


  
Nino shifted a little to get a better angle under Sho, drawing his knee up in the process which suddenly was pressed against Sho’s crotch. Sho let out a gasp at the unexpected movement and was unable to stop himself moving his hips to slide firm against the limb enhance the contact. Nino could feel the heat of Sho’s excitement on his skin, which was almost immediately mirrored in a rush through him.   
  


  
Sho leaned down to kiss Nino more desperately now, but broke the contact quickly with a frustrated expression. “Too many clothes.” He mumbled under his breath before hurrying to pull his shirt off completely, followed by his jeans. He left only his boxer briefs on which now left very little to the imagination. Nino stared at the nearly naked Sho in a daze, trying to take in the image completely.   
  
  


Sho looked down at Nino expectantly but when he saw that Nino seemed a little too distracted to follow his lead, he smiled and leaned back over Nino to kiss him again. Distracted by the kiss, Nino barely noticed Sho pulling his shirt and hoodie up, revealing his stomach. Only when Sho broke the kiss to awkwardly pull the hoodie over his head did Nino then realise that Sho had been undressing him.

  
  
“Hey…” He said half heartedly, drawing his arms across his chest to try and conceal his bare flesh a little. Sho just smirked and leaned down, taking Nino’s mouth with an intensity that made him forget his embarrassment. The overwhelming feeling skin against skin was so strong that Nino had to break apart from Sho’s lips to take a few steadying breaths.   
  


  
Sho took the opportunity to carefully unbutton Nino’s jeans and pull them down around his hips, before sliding them off completely. Nino fought the urge to shy away, feeling somewhat embarrassed comparing himself to Sho’s toned body. It was a strange feeling, he was usually pretty confident sexually but it was so different this time. Because it was Sho and he didn’t want to ruin it.   
  


  
Sho drew Nino into another passionate kiss, but with the lack of clothes, it felt as if their energy had tripled. As soon as Nino started craving more, Sho started lazily kissing down his chin, to his neck and biting gently on the sensitive pulse before making his way down Nino’s chest. Nino shut his eyes as he took steadying breaths. His mind seemed to be at war with itself, not able to ignore the arousal within him but not letting go of his uneasiness.   
  


  
As Sho continued to move his attention downwards, Nino felt himself tense a little. Of course he hadn’t really planned any of this but he had imagined them taking opposite roles. Nino was rarely the one to receive attention from his partners, normally he was just a tool for their satisfaction. But as Nino looked down at Sho, who had now reached Nino’s underwear, it looked as if the other man was totally enthralled by him.   
  


  
Sho, who was now face to face with Nino’s underwear clad crotch, took a moment to think before he made his next move. He then lightly ran his fingers over Nino’s concealed cock, earning a soft gasp before he slung them beneath the waistband and pulling the underwear down gently, leaving Nino totally exposed. Nino watched, eyes glassy as Sho nuzzled the now hard cock and giving it an experimental lick. It felt like sensory overload and Nino could almost feel the blood rushing around his body. As Sho started working his cock between his lips, Nino pulled his hand over his face, trying hard to concentrate on his breathing so he wouldn’t come embarrassingly soon.  
  
  
  
He felt Sho pause and whimpered as the warmth of his mouth was lost. “Is this okay?” Sho’s voice was low and breathy. Nino gave a sharp but exaggerated nod that wouldn’t be missed but kept his arm over his face. “Do you want me to keep going?”

  
  
“Yes,” Nino answered instantly, voice cracking a little. Getting the green light, Sho immediately returned his attention to Nino’s cock, working the base with his hand as he took the rest in his mouth at a steady rhythm. Nino had to stop himself from bucking his hips too much as the need to chase the feeling swelled within him. He felt heat rising within him rapidly as Sho quickened his pace a little.   
  


  
“Sho,” He all but whispered, “I’m going to-” He gasped as Sho swirled his tongue over the tip, surely tasting him already. Nino ripped his arm away from his face and tangled his hands in Sho’s hair instantly. Forgetting his resolve, he started thrusting into Sho’s mouth, the grip on his hair not faltering even as he heard Sho gagging a little as he thrust his length in completely. It only took him a few moments before he felt his electrifying release flow through his body, letting go of Sho and letting his hand flop to his side. He thrust a few more times into Sho’s patient mouth, before stilling, basking in the warm glow.   
  


  
Sho patiently sucked and swallowed, coughing a little at the end before moving back up the couch towards Nino. The latter slung his free arm across his eyes, not wanting to look at Sho just yet after his lack of control. Sho wedged himself clumsily between Nino and the back of the couch, resting his head in the crook of Nino’s shoulder.   
  


  
Nino could feel Sho’s hard cock pressed against his leg but he made no move to do anything about it, seeming content with laying next to Nino, “Sorry.” Nino whispered, his breaths still deep and fast.   
  


  
“It’s okay,” Sho assured him quietly, voice still breathy and a little rough. “I enjoyed it, and it seemed like you needed to let off some steam.”   
  


  
Nino groaned, letting his hand fall away from his face and looking down at Sho. “I’m sorry, I’ve been a little stressed lately,” He sighed in frustration at himself.   
  


  
Sho hushed him, pressing gentle kisses around his collar bone. “I don’t mind,” He said lightly. “If you want to talk about it, I’ll listen.”   
  


  
“Sho-chan…” He wanted to tell the man everything and hug him through the pain, but he so badly didn’t want his two lives to cross. He wanted Sho to remain in the happy world where he was a normal guy, not someone constantly on the edge of breaking point. Not knowing what to say he pulled his arm around Sho’s warm body, burying his face in his hair.   
  


  
Sho leaned into the embrace before adding, “But I mean if you would rather fuck till you forget your problems, I am definitely up for that,” Sho said, smirking. Nino smiled and kissed the top of his head appreciatively.   
  


  
-   
  


  
They ended up lying together there for a while, just enjoying the closeness. Eventually, Sho suggested they have a shower, so they peeled themselves apart to head for the bathroom. The moment they got into the small space, the excitement had built up again. Sho kissed him hard against the wall of the shower, hot water steaming the space around them.   
  


  
Nino ended up working Sho’s earlier neglected cock with his hand the the two kissed messily, Sho letting out the odd moan and breath as Nino adjusted his grip. After a few minutes, Sho reached down to grab Nino’s now fully hard again cock and pressed their bodies together so their cocks met, friction causing them both to still for a moment. They took a few breaths before they kissed again, their hands below working a hurried rhythm between them.   
  


  
Nino came first, hot and sticky between them. In his daze, he lost his rhythm and started sliding slowly down the shower wall, legs unsteady. Sho let out a hiss of frustration as the contact was lost and pressed his chest firmly against Nino’s, wedging him so he wouldn’t sink to the floor before replacing Nino’s hand with his own. He worked his cock at a furious pace until his come joined Nino’s between them. Sho leaned heavily against Nino, resting his chin on the other man's shoulder until they caught their breaths.   
  


  
Nino squirmed under Sho, struggling with the pressure. “Heavy,” He whined and pushed away.   
  


  
Sho moved away from Nino, “Sorry.” As soon as Nino had space, he let himself slide onto the cool tiles beneath him. Sho made a frustrated sound, looking down at him. “I was trying to keep you up, you know.”   
  


  
“I know,” Nino smiled up at him in a daze. “But I am hot and sleepy and I can’t be bothered,” Nino said, patting the small space beside him signalling for Sho to join him on the floor.   
  


  
Sho sighed but sat beside him anyway, drawing close to kiss Nino lazily, each of them still feeling rather blissful. They kissed lazily for a while before Sho pulled down the soap and started washing Nino, who returned the favour. He was still in awe of Sho’s muscles, accidently voicing his opinion in his dreamy state. Nino found out that there was a free gym at Sho’s work place and they could count a small portion of their day in there as working hours as part of a staff fitness scheme. They talked and washed happily until they felt the water going lukewarm.   
  


  
-   
  


  
They spent the evening huddled on Sho’s couch watching whatever random variety show happened to be on. They ordered food for dinner because they were too lazy to go out or to cook. After eating, Nino dozed off on Sho’s shoulder, before he was eventually roused. “Let's go to bed,” Sho had said softly.   
  


  
If Sho had any intentions other than sleeping, he was to be quickly disappointed as Nino drowsily followed him straight to bed, settling himself quickly before falling almost immediately back to sleep. The last thing he felt was Sho’s arms snaking around him in a warm embrace, smiling as he drifted off again.   
  


  
-   
  


  
Once again a familiar feeling washed over him, he shivered as he looked around seeing only darkness. The form it was going to take was unknown but Nino felt his breath quicken as panic rose throughout his body. Out of the darkness, the walls of an all too familiar room started appearing, closing in around him. Not again he begged silently to no one, but he could start to feel the blood on his hands.   
  


  
Just as he felt the terror sinking in, everything faded and melted away around him. The cold was replaced by a pleasant warmth and he could have sworn he heard someone calling him gently.   
  


  
But even though it should have been obvious, things only slid into place when he felt the soft bed beneath him and arms embracing him gently. The realisation still startled him as he woke up suddenly, breathing quick panicked gulps of air. He barely remembered even going to sleep, let alone waking up in an unfamiliar room with Sho wrapped around him. A million thoughts crashed over him at once as he tried to struggle away from the other man, not really having a clear course of action in mind but just the need to escape.   
  


  
Sho held Nino gently to his chest and hushing him softly. “Shh, Nino it was just a dream,” he whispered into Nino’s ear.   
  


  
Nino stopped struggling and his body felt heavy on the bed below him. Sho leaned close to him, hugging him reassuringly and soothingly stroking his hair. He took a few minutes to calm his breathing and slowly, he felt reality shift back into place. He didn’t say anything, unable to think of anything to explain his behavior. Instead he simply listened to the steady beat of Sho’s heart, letting it lull him back to sleep.   
  


  
  


-   
  
When he woke again, he found that he was the only one left in bed, but he could hear noises spilling through the open bedroom door. He felt his stomach lurch as he remembered his nightmare, he had been so desperate to hide the habit that it frustrated him to know that he had failed. He pulled himself out of bed and followed the sounds to find Sho in the kitchen.   
  


  
He hovered on the threshold of the room, feeling nervous that Sho would grill him about his nightmare. He couldn’t remember if he had talked in his sleep or god forbid screamed.   
  


  
Nino bit his fingernails as the poisonous thoughts circled his mind and silently watched Sho move around the kitchen. After a moment, Sho seemed to feel eyes on him and turned to find Nino watching him.   
  


  
“Morning!” He said happily, walking to Nino and wrapping him in a clumsy hug. “I didn’t wake you did I?”   
  


  
Nino just shook his head, eyes searching Sho’s face for any trace of worry or concern, but the other man seemed totally absorbed in what he had been doing. “I’m making us breakfast,” He said, returning to his task.   
  
  


Nino watched as Sho read what he assumed was a recipe on his phone, then made sporadic movements around the kitchen. “Is that really a good idea?” Nino mumbled.

  
  
“Have a little faith,” Sho called happily.   
  


  
It turned out that Nino’s prediction had been correct, Sho’s breakfast had consisted of a dry bland omelette and rice that was somehow hard and soggy at the same time. “Wow, this is just…” Nino was lost for words at the spread. “This is really something,” He said before dissolving into laughter.   
  


  
“It’s not that bad,” Sho sulked, taking a few bites. “Okay maybe it is that bad,” He admitted making a displeased face which only made Nino laugh more. Even though the food was questionable, they ate it together while joking happily. Nino was happy that Sho seemed to have either forgotten about his nightmare or just didn’t mind. If there was one thing he appreciated more than anything, it was not being worried about.   
  


  
Once they had finished breakfast, they lay down on the floor in the lounge room and were just content being near each other. Sho sighed happily, “I wish we could just stay here all day,” he said dreamily, rolling over and nuzzling into Nino’s side.   
  


  
“Who says we can’t?” Nino mumbled.   
  
  


Sho made sound like he was cursing himself, before saying in a guilty tone, “I’m sorry Nino-chan, I forgot to tell you that I have to go to my parents for lunch today.”   
  


  
“Don’t worry, I don’t mind,” Nino smiled at Sho who still looked a little uncertain.   
  


  
Sho seemed to avoid Nino gaze as he asked, “Hey Nino-chan?”   
  


  
“Yeah?” Nino asked curiously.   
  


  
“Are you my boyfriend now?” Sho mumbled, clearly a little embarrassed by his words.   
  


  
“Hmm…” Nino exaggerated his consideration of the question. “Well I think the important question really is; are you my boyfriend now Sho-kun?”   
  


  
“I’d like to be,” Sho said quietly. “If that's okay with you of course.”   
  


  
“That sounds okay to me.” He smiled, snuggling closer to Sho. Nino thought for a moment, and then paused, “Wait, you’re not going to tell your parents about me, are you?”   
  


  
Sho looked up at him with the cutest puppy dog eyes that it almost made him melt. “You don’t want me too?”   
  
  


Nino let out a weary sigh, “Well you know,” he started vaguely. “If you told them that you were seeing someone, they’d probably want to meet me right?”   
  


  
Sho looked a little confused, “Well yeah eventually, but it wouldn’t have to be straight away.”   
  


  
“But then you’d have to explain that I am a guy…” Nino trailed off awkwardly.   
  


  
“Oh well they are surprisingly okay with it,” Sho started smiling. “I mean the first time was a bit of a shock but they have gotten used to it, I guess.”   
  


  
Nino felt a flash of insecurity, “You’ve introduced boyfriends to them before then?” Nino said, trying to sound casual but a hint of hurt could be heard.   
  


  
Sho nuzzled him a little, placing a few kisses to Nino’s neck. “Not really, but they found me out in high school, I thought they would be out for the evening so I brought someone home.”   
  


  
“You didn’t have sex in your parents house, did you?!” Nino asked, alarmed at the younger Sho’s actions.   
  


  
“Of course not!” Sho defended, “But we were in the middle of a steamy makeout session, so I guess it wasn’t that innocent,” Sho chuckled.   
  


  
Nino hummed thoughtfully. “I guess that is a pretty surprising way to come out.”   
  


  
“So you haven’t come out to your parents?” Sho asked curiously.   
  


 

Nino flinched, so used to people knowing about his past he had forgotten that Sho did not. But he still so desperately wanted to pretend he had a normal life. He stuttered on his words a little, “Uh, no.”   
  


  
“Oh, well that’s okay then, if that is what works for you.” Sho said, a hint of sadness in his tone. “What about your brother? He seems like he is in a pretty stable relationship, do they know about him?”   
  


  
Nino felt a knot in his stomach, but he had to commit to his fantasy. “Yeah they know about him and were totally fine with it. I think my mum knew Jun was gay before he did.’ Nino smiled, trying not to keep his voice steady as he imagined the life that had been taken from him. “I just don’t like to talk about my relationships with... my parents, so I’ve never really had to explain, I guess,” He finished quietly.   
  


  
Sho was watching him, as if he sensed something was wrong with what he was saying. But instead of questioning like he had feared, Sho simply leaned over and kissed him tenderly.   
  


  
-   
  


  
Instead of going home that morning, Nino went to his brother’s house. Sho had driven him there, repeating reassuringly that he was happy too and that Nino was not a bother, even though Nino had protested. As much as Nino wished that Sho could still be his secret, there was no way of denying it after yesterday. Nino cringed as he remembered the fiasco of the date but put it behind him as he knocked on the door.   
  


  
It was Jun who greeted him this time, hugging him as soon a he laid eyes on him. “Kazu-chan!” He said happily, drawing Nino to arms length to get a good look at him. “Why do you never tell me when you visit,” He sighed but there was still fondness in his tone.   
  


  
“If you’re busy, I can go,” Nino said flatly.   
  


  
“Don’t be silly, you are here now so you are staying,” Jun said sharply as they entered the flat, Nino swapping his shoes for the guest slippers. As they made their way into the living area, Jun asked bluntly, “So you want to tell me about Sakurai-san then?” Keeping an innocent tone to his words on purpose.   
  


  
Nino sighed and flopped down on the couch, “Not really,” But he was amused to see Jun scowl at his words. “But I know you won’t let me leave until I do so what choice do I have.”   
  


  
Jun made some tea and explained that Ohno was still sleeping after painting all night, sounding a little annoyed. Nino then reluctantly explained his relationship with Sho to his brother, giving only the most basic details such as how long and how it had started. After this, Nino immediately added, “Don’t get too excited though J, it’s not that serious.”   
  


  
“Anything longer than a day is serious for you Kazu,” Jun retorted, causing Nino to frown.   
  


  
“I just don’t want you to make a big deal about it when I’m not even sure where it’s going,” Nino sulked.   
  


  
“I think he really likes you,” Jun smiled. “Did you say he comes to the restaurant every night?” He asked, sounding like he was formulating a plan in his head.   
  


  
Nino looked at Jun with a horrified expression, “You are not going to try talk to him are you?”   
  
  


“Why do you make that it sound like it’s the end of the world when your brother is interested in your life,” Jun sighed melodramatically.   
  


  
“I’m serious J, can you just leave this alone,” Nino said sharply.   
  


  
“I’m just-”   
  


  
“No Jun, I don’t care what you think,” Nino snapped, groaning in frustration. “This is why I didn’t want to tell you in the first place, you are such a pain.”   
  


  
Of course it was at that moment that Ohno appeared, looking disappointed at the words he must have overheard. Jun who seemed a little frozen after his brother's outburst, got up silently and left the room. Nino pulled his hands up to his face, cursing himself. “Forget it,” He said to no one in particular as he got up to leave.   
  


  
Ohno followed him out into the hallway as he scrambled for his shoes. “He has been trying to give you space,” Ohno said quietly.   
  


  
Nino sighed, pausing in his efforts as guilt tore through him. “I know,” He admitted.   
  


  
“I know you don’t like hearing it, but we care about you,” Ohno said sadly, “It hurts him so much when you ignore us.”   
  


  
Hearing the words out of Ohno’s mouth, a man of usually so few words, was all the more painful. His heart was racing and he could feel his emotions getting out of control. He was so angry, he always ruined things, and now he had upset his little brother again. Once broken, there was no way of fixing him. He hurried to get his stuff before forcing the door open, but before he could step out, Ohno grabbed him by the shoulder. Before he had a chance to react, Ohno had pulled him into a tight hug, a soothing hand behind his head.   
  


  
Ohno knew that Nino was at breaking point as he had seen it many times before. The tried and true Ohno method of dealing with Nino when he was like this was to hug it out, eventually Nino’s panic would calm down and his breathing would slow to match Ohno’s pace.   
  


  
“I’m sorry,” Nino whimpered into Ohno’s shirt. “I’m so sorry,” He repeated the words over and over and Ohno softly tried to hush him each time. He wasn’t sure how long they stood there, frozen in the doorway but after a while, Ohno guided him down to the floor where they just sat in silence, Ohno’s arms still wrapped around Nino. Times like these was when he felt the most useless, he wished he could disappear and stop being a burden to those around him.   
  


  
After a while, someone shuffled through the still ajar front door but by this point Nino was zoned out and not focused on anything. He could tell they were talking around him but he didn’t have the energy to focus on who it was or what they were saying. It took a hand on his shoulder for him to come out of his daze enough to register who it was. “Aiba-chan?”   
  


  
Aiba smiled softly, “You ready to go home?” He asked gently, not offering any explanation as to why he was there. Though Nino assumed that Jun had arranged it.   
  


  
Nino pulled away from Ohno’s embrace and avoided his gaze. He checked that he had all his stuff with him, still a little fuzzy as he glanced around but froze when he saw his brother looking sadly at him from the other end of the corridor. Jun looked like he had been crying, and for all Nino knew, he may have been watching him and Ohno the whole time.   
  


  
He left without another word and made his way downstairs in silence. He waited for Aiba to catch up at the bottom, getting a reassuring shoulder squeeze and a smile from his friend.   
  


  
-   
  


  
That night, Nino could tell Aiba was worried about him, but he didn’t object when Nino started helping him prepare for evening service. They mostly worked in silence, every now again Aiba would ask him to do specific jobs, only getting a nod or a mumble from Nino in acknowledgement.   
  


  
When his phone buzzed before service, he found a text from Sho saying that he had been held up at his parents place and wouldn’t be able to come around tonight. Nino felt his mood drop even more at that and felt no motivation to work but pushed himself to. He was on the receiving end of many concerned glances from Aiba, but avoided meeting his gaze at all costs.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to everyone who commented. I am so sorry to have kept you waiting this long. I had a surprisingly hectic few months but with this new year I have a little more time to focus on writing!
> 
> A thousand thanks to my amazing beta indigo-lover@livejournal, who puts up with me and still does such a great job!

It wasn’t until later that night while Aiba was helping him pack up the shop that his phone rang, he glanced at Aiba who gave him an approving nod.

 

He eyed the phone warily for a moment before noticing that the caller ID did not read Jun as he expected but instead read Sho. “Hello?” He answered quickly.   
  


  
“Nino!” Sho greeted happily. “I’m so tired, I really wish I could have came round but I only just managed to leave,” Sho said wearily.   
  


  
“It’s okay, I understand,” Nino said quietly.   
  


  
Sho remained silent for a moment before asking, “How did it go with your brother today?”

  
  
Nino sighed, Sho was getting awfully good at reading him these days. “Not great,” he mumbled.   
  


  
Sho took another moment, as if choosing his words carefully before asking, “Can I stay at your place tonight?”   
  


  
“What?” Nino was confused, “Didn’t you say you just left? It would take you over an hour to get here,” Nino tried to reason.   
  


  
“But I want to hug you…” Sho whinged and Nino felt his cheeks grow red.   
  


  
Nino turned away from Aiba’s curious gaze before saying, “Sho-chan…” Nino sighed, “Don’t be silly, you have work early in the morning. Just go home and get some rest.”   
  


  
“But you’re upset… You had a fight with your brother today right?” Sho asked, voice distorted a little from the handsfree.   
  


  
Nino cringed a little, “I’m fine, just a little tired.”   
  


  
“I am too and I want to hug you, so I’m coming over,” Sho said resolutely.   
  


  
“Fine, but I’ll be asleep when you get here,” Nino sighed.   
  


  
-

  
  
Nino wasn’t asleep at all when Sho eventually arrived, he was laying in the dark with his mind whirring. He heard Sho stumble as he tried to navigate the way to Nino’s futon in the dark, trying to be nice and not waking Nino by turning the light on.

  
  
“Sho-chan, try not to break everything,” he mumbled as he shifted to turn a lamp on. Squinting up he saw Sho looking slightly disheveled in the clothes he had been wearing that morning.   
  


  
“I didn’t want to wake you, sorry,” Sho said guiltily.   
  


  
“It’s okay, I wasn’t asleep yet anyway,” Nino brushed off.   
  


  
Sho navigated his way across the room so he could flop down beside Nino under the blanket and wrap him up in a gentle embrace. Nino leaned into the hug, pressing his face to the crook of Sho’s neck and breathe in his scent deeply. His whirling mind calmed down immediately.   
  


  
They didn’t say another word and Sho didn’t even make an effort to get changed. They were just content to hold each other until they both drifted off.   
  


  
-   
  


  
The days passed that week without Nino hearing from his brother, there were a few moments when he considered calling or texting him but nothing felt right. He couldn’t escape the fact that it was his fault and that he had pushed his brother away. At every moment of doubt he just reminded himself that it was for the best this way, Ohno and Jun were better off without him.   
  


  
On the other hand, he couldn’t help think that Jun had chose to abandon him once and for all. Maybe even feeling relieved that he didn’t need to take care of his useless older brother anymore and that he was out of his life for good. That thought hurt him the most and together with the myriad of dark thoughts circling around his head, Nino could feel his despair creeping back.   
  


  
He was lucky at least that he could forget about it when Sho was there and that week he spent every night at Nino’s. From helping him close up and then following him up stairs to the privacy of Nino’s flat.   
  


  
They still talked, but now that was mostly kept in the restaurant since the moment they stepped inside his apartment, they used the time for greedy makeout sessions. In the first night, that was all they managed before falling asleep together.   
  
  


As soon as Sho would leave in the mornings, Nino felt drained and didn’t bother getting up until midday. It was still hard for him to accept Sho’s affections, so whenever he was alone he couldn’t stop the feeling of dread that something was wrong. One day, while sitting alone in his apartment, Nino decided that Sho must be playing an elaborate prank on him and was probably waiting for the perfect moment to break him.   
  


  
That sounded right, otherwise why would someone like Sho be with someone like Nino? Just thinking about the end when Sho would confess never loving him and that it was all a big joke nearly broke his heart so he willed himself to stop thinking altogether.   
  


  
When he went down for work that day, he couldn’t even manage a smile or a hello as Aiba greeted him. He just worked silently as Aiba watched with concern. When Sho arrived, Nino quickly forgot all his dark thoughts and went back to the usual teases and jokes they usually shared. Nino brushed off Aiba when he asked if he was okay at the end of the night.   
  


  
That night when they got upstairs, Sho didn’t bother hiding his arousal as he started grinding his crotch against Nino and pressing him against the wall. Kissing him so hard Nino thought he might faint.    
  


  
-   
  


  
Nino had the Friday night off that week so Sho invited him to his place to spend the night. The whole day before, Nino felt his anxiety squashing any spark of excitement or happiness at the prospect of spending the night with Sho.   
  


  
Even though Sho had offered to pick Nino up, he had decided to take the train to his apartment instead. The walk from the station wasn’t far and under most circumstances he would have considered it rather pleasant. But with each step, he felt more and more nervous. For some reason he couldn’t stop thinking about the last time he saw Jun, and how terribly it went.   
  


  
But when he arrived at Sho’s place, he was greeted with a gentle kiss and a hug, melting all his anxieties away. They ordered takeaway and watched a crappy movie that Sho had picked without much thought. It didn’t take long for them to find better entertainment other that the film that was still playing forgotten in the background as they started to kiss each other lazily.   
  


  
When they noticed that the end credits had started playing, Sho simply asked, “Bed?”   
  


  
Nino nodded, Sho then took his hand gently and guided him towards the bedroom. Nino was thankful that Sho lived in such a small flat because it only took a few steps before he was being nudged onto the bed with Sho continuing to kiss him messily at each free moment. Sho pushed Nino back so that he was lying down with the taller kneeling above him and pulling his clothes off between kisses.   
  


  
For a moment, Nino felt a pang of frustration, as Sho again seemed to be in control of the moment. But Nino couldn’t really blame him as he was still so nervous about being with Sho that he wouldn’t know how to take charge even if he wanted to. He did decide to pull sharply at Sho’s clothes, not wanting to be the only one undressed. Sho seemed to get the message pretty quickly, pulling his top and pants off messily.   
  


  
They lay together for a while lazily making out, they had the whole night so it didn’t seem to matter if they took their time. Sho slipped a leg in between Nino’s, drawing a gasp of pleasure from the younger man at the contact. Sho started pressing soft kisses down the curve of Nino’s jaw, seemingly lost in his partner's body.   
  


  
Nino felt a shiver as Sho steadily moved down his body, the light touches and feather kisses putting Nino on edge as his arousal built. Sho didn’t waste much time teasing though as he seemed just as eager as Nino for contact.

  
  
Sho closed his mouth over the tip of Nino’s now hard cock earning an appreciative groan. Nino felt as Sho moved his hand to grip the base and started a steady even rhythm. But the growing excitement suddenly froze as Nino felt two of Sho’s fingers rub experimentally at his hole. He lifted his head to look down at Sho, who returned the gaze as he lifted off Nino’s cock with a small pop.   
  


  
“Is it okay?” Sho asked a little out of breath.   
  


  
“You want to fuck me right?” Nino was a little surprised at how bluntly he asked, but he kept his eyes locked with his lover.   
  


  
Sho gave a small nod and Nino let his head flop back on the pillow. He had known that this was coming but he had never been taken by anyone like this before. It felt strange, and he wasn’t sure if he really wanted it at all. But it was Sho, if this was what he wanted, then Nino would give. Because keeping Sho happy was the most important thing.   
  


  
“We don’t have to, I should have asked earlier…” He heard Sho say with embarrassment.   
  


  
“No, keep going, I want it,” Nino said firmly.   
  


  
“Are you sure?” Sho said unconvinced.   
  


  
Nino just nodded, and kept his gaze glued to the ceiling. He didn’t want Sho to see how nervous he was, he just wanted to be with him.   
  


  
He felt Sho pause for a moment before bringing his lips back down to Nino’s cock, resuming his ministrations. But now Nino couldn’t stop thinking about what is was that he had just agreed too, did he really want it? He had never been on the receiving end like this before, and he really wondered how it was going to feel. He shut his eyes tight as he tried to control the trembling he felt running through his body. Before he knew it, tears were pricking at his eyes, and he felt Sho pause again.   
  


  
He felt the bed dip as Sho moved up towards Nino, “Should we stop for a bit?” But before Nino could even respond, he felt Sho pulling one of the earlier discarded blankets around them.   
  


  
He turned away from Sho and covered his face with both hands, “Sorry…” He whispered.   
  


  
He felt Sho’s arms snake gently around him, “I’m sorry, I should have talked to you earlier but I was too embarrassed to bring it up,” Sho said softly.   
  


  
Nino took a few deep breaths before wiggling around to face Sho, “It’s okay really, I just panicked a little…” Nino frowned before admitting, “I’ve never been with a man like that before.”   
  


  
Sho considered Nino for a moment before kissing him softly, “We don’t have to.” He said softly.   
  


  
Nino opened his mouth to say something but he couldn’t find any words. He didn’t know what to do to make it better, and the earlier mood had almost completely dissipated. “I…” He started so quietly he could barely hear himself, “I’m sorry.”   
  


  
Sho frowned and pulled Nino closer into his arms, “Don’t say that, don’t apologise.”   
  


  
Nino could feel himself trembling, unable to control his emotions. “Please don’t be mad at me….” His voice cracking and trailed off little towards the end.   
  


  
“Nino…” Sho said sadly. “I’m not mad, please don’t think I am.”   
  
  


Nino didn’t have anything left to say, so they just lay there in silence. Nino felt Sho’s grip on him loosen as the other man fell asleep after a while. But Nino just lay there awake, thoughts racing around his head as a dark storm clouded his mind.   
  


  
-   
  
  


When Sho dropped him off at his place the next morning, Nino felt extremely uneasy. Sho was acting more affectionate than usual, probably to try reassure Nino that he wasn’t upset. But as soon as Nino got up to his apartment, the images of the previous night started flooding back into his head.   
  


  
He hovered by the sink, gulping down a large glass of water and rubbed his eyes, trying to dispel his thoughts but his mind kept wandering.   
  


  
He felt gut wrenching shame about how he had acted, how could he have been so weak? When he was with Sho, he was meant to be strong. He was meant to be normal. How could he let his weakness show like that. He knew it wouldn’t be long till Sho suspected there was something wrong with him.   
  


  
He was struggling to breathe now as hot tears burned his eyes. He lost his footing as he tried to claw his shirt away from his neck, the feeling of it choking him overwhelmed his senses. He bumped into his coffee table, vaguely aware of something breaking as it fell off and collided with the floor. Having lost his energy to struggle out of his shirt, Nino just collapsed on the floor with his arms hugging his legs in a fetal position.    
  
  


His earlier assumption of it being a joke to Sho was replaced with the notion of Sho finding out how broken and damaged he was, resulting in him leaving. In the end, Nino was going to be alone again. But this time he didn’t even have his brother to pick up the broken pieces. He thought he heard a sound from the door but his ear drums were pounding, and as if a hot fire was burning him from the inside. He was sobbing out loud now, vision blurred from the hot tears streaming down his face. Just like Jun, Sho was going to leave and Nino was going to rot.   
  


  
Then from out of nowhere he felt a pair of strong arms wrapped around him and pulled him into a firm hug. "Jun?" He choked.   
  


  
"Shhh Nino-kun, it’s just me," He was pulled tighter as a hand held protectively around the back of his head, "It’s Aiba."   
  


  
Nino was breathing raggedly, trying desperately to figure out what to do next. “I… Uh…” He struggled to find words between breaths.   
  


  
“Shhh, It’s okay, I’m here with you. We are in your flat, it’s okay,” Aiba spoke calmly.   
  


  
He pulled away from Aiba, embarrassment mixing with his panic, hot tears still streaming down his face. “Uh… I am… Ah…” He clutched a hand to his chest, feeling like his heart was pounding so hard that it would shatter him to pieces.   
  


  
Aiba, who now looked at him with a concerned expression pulled out his phone. “I’ll call Jun-kun…” Aiba muttered to himself.   
  


  
“No!” Nino wailed, knocking the phone from Aiba’s hands roughly, the battery falling out as it hit the floor. “I’m sorry! Not Jun, please!”   
  


  
Aiba looked stunned. “Nino, I just want to help you,” Aiba said desperately.   
  


  
Nino cringed, leaning forward to bury his head in Aiba’s chest and reached out to grip his forearm tightly. “I just…” He let out a sharp breath, “I need…” He started, voice strained.   
  


  
“Nino-kun did something happen?” Aiba asked gently.   
  


  
Nino shook his head roughly, “I don’t know why…” He said, breathing uneven.   
  


  
“It’s okay,” Aiba brought up a hand to rub soothing circles over Nino’s back. “I’m here, you are safe.”   
  


  
They sat there for a while and Nino focused on returning his heart rate to normal. Aiba continued to mutter soothing words as Nino calmed in his arms.   
  


  
After sometime Nino took in a deep breath before pulling away from his friend. He rubbed his face awkwardly, feeling deeply embarrassed that Aiba had witnessed him lose control like that. He mumbled a quiet “Sorry.” Before pulling himself to his feet.   
  


  
“Please don’t apologise, you know I don’t mind,” Aiba said sternly. Nino moved to the kitchenette to busy himself, not wanting to look at Aiba.   
  


  
“Tea?” He offered as he clumsily filled the kettle around the dirty dishes piled in the sink.   
  


  
“Yeah I guess…” Aiba said as he pulled himself up to join Nino at the kitchenette. “Did something happened?”   
  


  
Nino hung his head low, unable to look at his friend. “No.”   
  


  
“Are you just a little tired from staying at Sho’s place?” Aiba asked innocently, but Nino could tell he wanted ask if Sho was the cause.   
  


  
“Something like that…” Nino turned to fill the two mugs with boiling water, plopping a tea bag in each.   
  


  
“How is it going between you two?” Aiba asked.   
  


  
“Fine,” Nino said coldly, hoping Aiba would drop the subject. They moved to sit down by Nino’s messy table and an awkward silence hanging in the air, Nino saw the mess on the floor and took a mental note to clean it later. “I’m sorry Aiba-chan, I know you must be worried…” Nino said vaguely after a while. “I am okay though, I swear, what happened just now was nothing… I’m sorry you had to see that…” He finished quietly as he took a sip of his tea.   
  


  
Aiba let out a small sigh, “I don’t mind helping you when you need it. But I can’t help but worry about you lately.” Aiba said sadly. “I’m sorry, I know you don’t want to hear that. But even if you won’t admit it, you have been acting differently since you’ve been with Sakurai-san.”   
  


  
Nino couldn’t stop himself from glaring a little at Aiba. But it was hard being angry with the man since he had already helped Nino more than he could ever repay. And Aiba had been on the receiving end of Nino’s mood swings for weeks. “It’s got nothing to do with Sho-san. I’m sorry to have bothered you lately,” Nino said a little stiffly.   
  


  
Aiba’s face fell at Nino’s words, “Nino please don’t ever think that, you are not a bother to me at all. I was just trying to make sure you were okay.”   
  


  
“I’m sorry Aiba-chan,” There was nothing else he could say.   
  


  
“It’s okay…” Aiba said, before tentatively adding. “Have you spoken to Jun-kun recently?”   
“Not really…” Nino said, thinking about how his brother had not called him since the fight they had.   
  


  
“I am sure he wants to hear from you, why don’t you call him later?” Aiba prompted kindly.   
  


  
Nino shrugged. “I’ll think about it.” and he took another sip of his tea.   
  


  
-   
  


  
There was a certain air of awkwardness between Sho and Nino now. Sho would still turn up like clock work in the evenings while Nino was working but it felt a little like they had taken a step backwards.   
  


  
They had gone back to just drinking and talking in the restaurant at closing time instead of returning to Nino’s flat. They would still end up making out by the end of the evening, but it felt as though both of them were holding back. As the week progressed, Nino couldn’t help but feel tense when he was around Sho.   
  


  
When he got a text on Saturday morning from Sho asking if he could spend the night at Nino’s, he was almost tempted to make up an excuse to get out of it. It was his night off so he wouldn’t have anything to distract him, but the thought of avoiding Sho made him feel guilty so he sent a reply saying he could come whenever he wanted.   
  


  
It was early evening when Sho arrived, Nino was sitting in the half light of the setting sun glued to his Playstation. He had left the door open and made a small hum of acknowledgement when Sho entered the room, not looking over to greet him.   
  


  
“Hey,” Sho said softly as he made his way to the couch to join Nino. “I got us some Chinese.” Placing the bags on the coffee table.   
  


  
Nino nodded, “Sorry, I’ll be done in a sec.”   
  


  
Sho sat and watched patiently as Nino fought a boss battle. Nino sort of wished it would take longer but before he knew it, he was saving the game and switching it off. He glanced timidly at Sho who seemed to have spaced out a little and was staring off into space. Nino slid across the couch and wrapped his arms around Sho’s waist. He wanted to be close to the other and for the awkwardness to be gone between them but he didn’t know how to. He felt Sho’s arms draw him close and pressing a soft kiss on the top of Nino’s head.   
  


  
They stayed there for a moment before Sho reminded him of the food he had brought. They pulled themselves onto the floor and ate in silence. Once they had finished, Nino stretched out on the floor as Sho moved to shuffle around in his bag for something.   
  


  
Nino lifted his head up to get a look at what Sho was doing, watching as the latter pulled a glass bottle out of his bag which contained some kind of brown spirit. “You want to drink?” Sho asked curiously.   
  


  
Sho looked a little awkward, “I thought we could drink together, a bit of a change from beer you know?” Sho rolled the bottle in his hands awkwardly. “We don’t have to though, it was just a thought.”   
  


  
“No, I’d like that,” Nino smiled and sat up. “Should we make a game out of it?”   
  


  
Sho looked a little surprised, but smiled at the suggestion, “Like what?”   
  


  
Nino crossed the room and pulled his deck of cards from where it was haphazardly stacked on the bookshelf. “How about something simple like higher or lower?” He then grabbed a couple of glasses before returning to where Sho was sitting.   
  


  
“How do you play that one again?” Sho asked, looking lost.   
  


  
Nino smiled, “So I will deal the cards at random and you just have to guess whether the card I open will be higher or lower than the previous card. If you guess wrong, you drink but if you get it right, I drink.”   
  


  
“Okay, got it,” Sho said as he poured them each some alcohol.   
  


  
Unfortunately for Nino, the first card he drew was a queen which meant Sho’s guess of lower was entirely correct as he pulled out a seven next. He spluttered a little when he took the first sip, the strong taste surprising him a little. “What is this? It’s spicy.” He quickly took a sip of water to recover.   
  


  
“It’s cinnamon whisky, I should have asked if you liked it…” Sho looked a little dejected.   
  


  
“No, it’s fine, it was just a bit of a shock.” Nino said reassuringly.   
  


  
By the time they had gotten through the deck of cards, Nino wondered why he hadn’t thought of just getting drunk with Sho before then. He didn’t feel at all nervous as he draped himself over his partner’s side, kissing him gently.   
  


  
After a while of lazily making out, Sho seemed to pluck up the courage to speak his mind. “I’m really sorry about the other night…” He started calmly but clumsily adding, “I just really wanted to have sex with you.”   
  


  
“No! Don’t be sorry, I really wanted to have sex with you too!” Nino declared happily, struggling to get his words out smoothly. “I was just stupid and ruined it.”   
  


  
“Ninoooo! You are not stupid! I was stupid for not talking to you about it!” Sho exclaimed dramatically.   
  


  
“Should we talk about it now then?” Nino said lazily.   
  


  
“It’s embarrassing though!” Sho said, hiding his face behind his hands..   
  


  
“Hey at least you are not the one that freaked out,” Nino said grumpily.   
  


  
“But what I want was different… Than what I tried…” Sho said cryptically.   
  


  
“What? Like something kinky?” Nino said curiously.   
  


  
“No, just like… The opposite you know?” Sho said vaguely.   
  


  
“What like a woman?” Nino tried clarifying, this was getting confusing.   
  


  
“No! I want you!” Sho said a little too loudly.   
  
  


“Me? Isn’t that the whole point?” Nino asked innocently.   
  
  


“No, you don’t get it… I want you to…” He trailed off a little and his voice getting quieter, “Do what I was going to do to you… to me…”   
  


  
As softly as Sho said it, Nino caught the meaning loud and clear and felt his face heat up, more than just the alcohols doing. He also felt blood rush somewhere else. “Seriously?” Nino asked.   
  


  
Sho nodded, “I wanted to ask the other night but I didn’t know how and I ruined it.”   
  


  
“I uhh…” Nino was lost for words.   
  


  
“It’s weird isn’t it, I shouldn’t have brought it up, sorry” Sho said as he started to turned and stand up.   
  


  
But before Sho could turn away, Nino put a hand on his shoulder to stop him. “It’s not weird… Should we try it out?” Nino said, unable to stop himself from grinning.   
  


  
Sho turned back around to face Nino, his eyes searching his partner’s as if trying to detect any hint of uncertainty. But Nino just leaned forward and pressed a kiss on Sho’s lips. It was hot, messy and full of want since the both of them were still feeling the effects of the alcohol. It seemed as if every touch on their skin burned with heated desire. Nino pushed Sho down so that he was lying on his back and moved over him to straddle his hips.   
  
  


Between kisses, they gradually shed their clothes and relished in the feel of hot skin on hot skin. Nino felt light headed with arousal as they moved against each other and effectively driving him crazy with every touch.   
  


  
Sho pushed Nino away for a moment, causing Nino to whimper in frustration. But Sho shuffled to his bag and pulled out a condom and a small bottle of lube. “Did you plan all this then?” Nino asked, grinning and somewhat impressed with his partner.   
  
  


“Maybe,” Sho said simply with a cheeky grin before moving back to Nino and pulling him into another kiss. Nino felt Sho place the items in his hand, seemingly impatient to continue their actions.   
  


  
Nino pulled Sho to the futon, feeling impatient himself. He then pushed Sho down, reached for a pillow and placing it underneath Sho’s hips then moved down so he had better access to his partner. Nino took the lube, uncapping it and squeezed some onto his finger before placing it gently at Sho’s entrance. He rubbed experimentally there, coating it before slowly pushing his finger in, Sho let out a small gasp of pleasure.   
  


  
He moved his finger around slowly, “Is it okay?” he asked a little breathlessly, watching as his lover moved under his touch.   
  


  
“Yes,” Sho hissed impatiently, “More.”   
  


  
Nino couldn’t help but smile a little, “That’s not very polite, where are your manners today?” He teased as his finger stopped.   
  


  
“Please!” Sho pleaded as he looked straight into Nino’s eyes, voice huskier than usual with arousal.   
  


  
Nino simply replied by adding another finger beside the first, and leaned down to suck the tip of Sho’s hard cock. Sho let out a long moan of appreciation and bucked up into Nino’s mouth causing him to gag a little.   
  


  
Nino started to move his hands and mouth in a rough attempt at rhythm but he was already starting to feel impatient from his own arousal. Soon enough, he felt Sho’s hands tangle in his hair, but instead of encouraging him on they were pulling at them.   
  


  
Nino lifted himself away from Sho, looking up at his lover. “Please, I’m ready.” Sho said, panting a little with eyes glazed over with what could only be explained as lust.   
  


  
Nino, not one to be told twice, reached for the condom and carefully rolled it over his cock before adding a decent amount of lube and stroking himself a couple times so that the condom was snug. “Are you sure you are ready?” Nino asked while lining himself up. Sho nodded, “If it’s too much let me know.”   
  


  
He pushed into the tight hole slowly but had to pause. Only his head was inside, but he had to stop himself coming too quickly from the overwhelming sensation and to allow Sho to adjust. Sho whimpered a little at the intrusion but with the way his hands gripped Nino's hip, the latter knew Sho was feeling okay. To prevent himself from releasing too early, Nino distracted himself by trailing kisses over Sho’s chest, enjoying the pink flush he had created over the pale skin, before slowly moving further into his partner..   
  


  
Once Nino had entered Sho completely, he stopped again. After a while, when he felt that Sho was adjusted and calmed a little around him, he started to moved at a gentle pace. Their breaths were shallow and uneven as they moved against each other. It was a passion that Nino had never felt before other than now, being with someone who he truly cherished.   
  


  
He started to thrust a little faster, hitting the spot which had Sho moaning loudly in appreciation. Sho moved his hand down to grasp his hard neglected cock and started to pump in time with Nino’s thrusts.   
  


  
It only took a couple strokes for Sho to tense up around him with eyes closed tightly. “Nino…”  His orgasm swept through him and he let out a long satisfied moan. Feeling Sho's hot inner walls clamping down on him, Nino couldn’t hold his release off much longer as he felt Sho’s hot release painting his abdomen. Nino then gave a few short thrusts before he too was tipped over the edge and seeing stars.   
  


  
When Nino came down a little from his high, he slowly pulled out of Sho. He then laid down beside him after carefully removing the condom, tying it off and tossing it into the bin. Sho pulled him into a tight embrace and Nino could feel a mixture of sweat and come between them. He didn’t care at that moment since he was still lost in the bliss of his release.   
  


  
Once they had caught their breaths, and the high had subsided, Nino moved to get up and pulled Sho up with him. “Come on, let's get cleaned up.”   
  


  
Sho followed without protest, but was a little wobbly upon standing. Seeing this, Nino put an arm around his waist supportively and led the way to the bathroom.   
  


  
They showered lazily, letting the hot water flow between them as they made out. Nino made sure to carefully clean Sho, feeling a little protective of him all of a sudden. They kept it quick though as both of them were feeling thoroughly exhausted.   
  


  
After drying off, they settled into Nino’s futon and embraced each other gently as they let sleep take them.


	9. Chapter 9

He was in the room again. It felt smaller this time and the smell of blood was so overwhelming it made him gag. He tried to escape, scrambling for the door, but no matter how much he struggled he didn’t move an inch. He let out a piercing cry of panic, wanting so much to escape. But everything was solid this time, as real as the day it happened. This was real, his parents still before him. Crimson stains on their clothes, on his hands.  
  
  
But something was wrong. There was a figure stood in the corner of the room, Nino couldn’t make out his features. Only the instinct to get as far away as possible cursed through his veins. The figure moved towards him, he begged and screamed, pleading for everything to stop. But it didn’t stop, just moved towards him and touched his arm. Nino felt his skin burn under the figures hand and let out a cry of pain. He was sobbing now, his lungs burning as he struggled for breath.  
  
  
Somewhere among the sound of his heartbeat he heard his brother, only faintly but present. He tried to focus on the sound and he felt new hands on him, but somehow he knew it was Jun. His brother was speaking to him but he couldn’t hear.  
  
  
Heaviness took over his body once more, the scene melting into blackness. He felt his body give out to exhaustion as once again in a familiar way everything went dark.

  
  
-  
  
  
Sho had been awake for a while now. He was used to waking up before Nino but he didn’t mind. He had grown fond of just laying there beside him, listening to his breathing as he slept. Nino had a pretty cute face when he slept, not that he would ever tell him for fear of being slapped. But often his brows would furrow, eyes moving under his lids as if recalling a bad memory. Times like these Sho would pull him closer and stroke his hair until he seemed calm again.  
  
  
After last night Sho was perfectly happy to have a lay in that morning, still feeling a little tender. After a while Sho felt Nino shiver, look of discomfort painted on his features. Sho stroked his hair comfortingly but Nino seemed to wince at the actions, drawing away from Sho.  
  


  
“Nino-chan,” Sho whispered softly, reaching out to hold his hand. But he stopped as he heard faint sobs escaping the other man. He noticed that Nino’s breathing had grown quick, and he started struggling to get away.   
  


  
Sho sat up, “Nino?” He said louder this time, wanting badly to wake his partner. But what happened next was even more frightening. Out of nowhere Nino flinched and cried out in pain.  
  
  
“Nino?” Sho repeated, this time his confusion and fear betraying his tone. Nino had opened his eyes, but it looked as if he couldn’t see anything around him. He looked glazed as he started shifting away from Sho, as if he couldn’t see him. Sho could see fear etched in his features, feeling helpless he moved forward to try and hold him, wanting to still him. But as he did Nino threw his hands over his ears roughly and started to scream in fear.  
  
  
Sho froze, he felt his body clench as he had no idea what to do, feeling tears prick at his eyes. It was only a few moments later when he heard the door fling open sharply behind him. He looked over to Aiba, fear and confusion swimming through him.  
  
  
“Shit,” He heard Aiba curse under his breath before quickly kneeling down next to Sho to get a look at Nino.    
  
  
Nino was now sobbing loudly and babbling, “No,” and “Stop,” over and over again.  
  
  
Aiba immediately pulled out his phone and punched in a number before calling. “Ohno?” Sho heard Aiba greet in a hurry. “It’s Nino,” He said by way of explanation. “Yeah it’s really bad, he is not responding at all, just-” Aiba paused, “Well I’m sure you can hear.” Nino was still sobbing loudly. “Do you think I should call-” He paused again. “You’ll come now?” Aiba looked at Sho for a moment while Ohno spoke on the other end. “It should be okay, Sho-kun is here,” At this Sho looked even more confused, not understanding how this could be described as okay. “Okay see you soon,” Aiba said hanging up the phone.  
  
  
“What is going on?” Sho demanded, voice shaky.  
  
  
Aiba looked conflicted, “What has Nino-kun told you?”  
  
  
“About what? What is wrong with him?” He was on the verge of tears as he spoke, the whole situation lost on him.  
  
  
“Don’t worry!” Aiba tried to assure him, “It’s fine, this just… happens sometimes.”  
  
  
“How is this fine? He is in pain!” Sho said desperately.  
  
  
“Sho I promise it will pass,” Aiba tried to reassure him. “You’ve noticed before this haven’t you?” Aiba said a little tentatively.  
  
  
“Noticed what?” He asked sharply, then taking a couple deep breath to regain control of his emotions.  
  
  
Aiba looked grim as he contemplated his next words carefully. “Please listen to what I say okay? I swear I’m not trying to hide anything from you, but…” He paused, “Nino has asked me not to tell you and I have to respect his wishes.”  
  
  
“Tell me what?!” Sho could feel his own heart racing now, struggling to keep up with what was going on around him. He kept darting his gaze back at Nino, who was still sobbing between them. He felt his own tears streaking down his face but ignored it to stare at Aiba, demanding answers.  
  
  
“You’ve noticed haven’t you?” Aiba repeated, tone uncharacteristically serious. “That there is something a little strange about him.”  
  
  
Sho looked at Nino, thinking back to the odd ways Nino sometimes behaved or reacted. But Sho always brushed it off as Nino being quirky. “He is just a little different,” Sho said softly, watching the tears stream down his lover's face, mirrored in his own features.    
  
  
“There is a reason, something....” Aiba trailed off sadly. “Happened. Look if I say anything else it will upset him more.”  
  
  
“But-”  
  
  
“I’m sure he will tell you, can you just be a little patient?” Aiba pleaded.  
  
  
Sho just looked confused, eyes fixing back towards Nino. “Something happened?”  
  
  
Aiba simply sighed and said nothing, unable to make the situation any better. They sat in silence except for Nino’s steady sobs until they heard Ohno and Jun arrive. Sho watched as Jun immediately moved over to his brother, wrapping him in his arms.  
  
  
Sho was a little surprised to see Nino calm, body going limp as his brother let out a stream of comforting words. It only took took about five minutes for Nino to seemingly return to his sleeping state. Jun let his brother drop into his lap and sleep, Sho brushing his hand roughly across his cheeks to hide his tears.  
  
  
“That doesn’t usually work so fast,” Jun mumbled quietly.  
  
  
“I think he has been missing you,” Aiba said, smiling sadly.  
  
  
Sho watched in silence as Jun started sobbing softly, feeling like an intruder on this extremely private moment.  
  
  
Ohno moved over to his partner, drawing an arm comfortingly around his shoulder. “It’s not your fault,” Sho heard Ohno say quietly.  
  
  
Sho let his eyes fall to Nino, feeling awkward watching the private moment. Even though Nino appeared to be sleeping, his face was eerily expressionless. Sho wanted to reach out and comfort him but stopped himself, drawing a hand to his mouth and hugging himself with the other.  
  
  
This seemed to remind the rest of the inhabitants of the room to his presence, suddenly drawing three sets of eyes to look in his direction. He cleared his throat awkwardly, bowing his head a little in the newly arrived couples direction.  
  
  
It was Ohno who broke the silence first, asking bluntly, “Did you spend the night?”  
  
  
Sho felt his face flush red and he gave himself a once over, he was at least dressed though his trackies and shirt were clearly slept in. He winced as he imagined the state his hair must be in, resisting the urge to tidy it. He nodded.  
  
  
“Oh,” Was all Ohno replied, nodding. “So he…” Ohno glanced down at Nino then back at Sho, “Was like this when he woke up then?”  
  
  
Sho nodded again.  
  
  
Ohno looked contemplative, “Most of his flashbacks happen while he is sleeping so I wouldn’t worry too much,” He said casually, as if this were an everyday occurrence.  
  
  
Sho’s eyes widened at the word, but suddenly everything made so much more sense. Suddenly his mind was scrambling, wondering what had happened to cause Nino to become like this. But before he could cut in with the million questions running through his head Aiba said, “Nino hasn’t told him yet.”  
  
  
“Not anything?” Ohno asked Sho directly, seeming a little surprised.  
  
  
Sho cleared his throat again before answering quietly, “He told me that he was sick as a child, but he didn’t go into details.”  
  
  
Jun sighed sadly, tracing small circles on the back of Nino’s hand. He didn’t look up at Sho, but said, “I imagine this is been pretty confusing for you.”  
  
  
“Well yeah…” Sho said, brows furrowed, “To be honest I don’t know what to think, I mean I have joined a few dots but it’s still really unclear.” Sho rubbed his face, taking a deep breath in an attempt to calm his thoughts.  
  
  
“It’s a really complicated situation,” Jun started, “Kazu has been suffering a long time now,” His voice cracked a little. “We want to help, we all do,” Jun gestured to Ohno and Aiba. “But he has convinced himself that he is a burden to us, so he tries to push away.” Jun rubbed at his eyes, and Ohno leaned in to give him a reassuring squeeze.  
  
  
Sho watched tentatively before asking the question that was burning in his mind the most, “So Nino told you that he didn’t want me to know?”  
  
  
For the first time since he had arrived Jun seemed to look at Sho properly, taking in his disheveled image. “He cares about you,” Jun said suddenly. “That’s why he didn’t want you to know.”  
  
  
Sho let his head drop a little, rubbing at his temples. “This is hard to follow.”  
  
  
“He likes being around you because you don’t worry about him,” Jun said, then tried to explain further, “He feels normal around you I guess, like he can forget what happened.”  
  
  
Sho let his gaze drift from Jun down to his brother. He watched Nino sleep for a few moments, his mind still full of questions but knowing that he wouldn’t get any straight answers until he woke up.  
  
  
They all seemed to slip into shared silence. Ohno eventually stretching out on the couch and taking a nap while Jun laid down beside his brother, clasping his hand. Sho stayed sitting, unable to think about returning to sleep and anxiety flooded every corner of his mind. At some point Aiba brought him a cup of tea which he accepted gratefully, but for the most part it was just agonising waiting.

  
  
-  
_  
  
The light was bright as he opened his eyes, his dreams had been so horrible he was just glad to be waking up. He squinted as he tried to open his eyes, but it was still too bright, this wasn't his bed. He looked around and his brother sitting on a bed opposite him, he was drawing something on a small tray table over the hospital bed. Hospital, why was he here again. The room became more and more familiar, he had been here a while. A couple of days.  
  
  
But where were his parents again. Yes that was important he had to find them. He made to move off his bed when his brother looked up at him, he was such a small kid Nino thought to himself.  
  
  
“We get to leave today Nino,” Jun said, his voice was flat, he looked sad.  
  
  
Nino lost his train of thought instead going to sit next to his brother. Wrapping his arms around him quietly.  
  
_

 _  
-  
  
_  
Nino felt warm, blankets pooled around him as the day was heating up. He felt particularly groggy, his throat a little sore. But he assumed this had been the results of last night. He opened his eyes, wincing slightly at the light. But as soon as his eyes focused he felt a huge pool of dread. Jun was sleeping beside him. Why was Jun sleeping beside him?  
  
  
He could feel himself starting to panic as he stared at his brother. He felt frozen as he looked down to see his brother holding his hand, only moving his eyes so as to keep still. Worse yet was Ohno sleeping on the couch behind his brother, same vacant expression as always.  
  
  
It was then that his eyes met with Sho’s, who seemed to be the only one awake. His expression was haunted as he looked nervously at Nino. His stomach dropped, a wave of nausea ripped through him. He tore himself out of bed, noticing his brother snap awake in shock as he scrambled to the bathroom, tripping and knocking several things in his path.  
  
  
He retched heavily into to the toilet, clutching his chest as the pressure felt unbearable. His eyes prickled with tears as he coughed. He heard someone chase after him, then his brother was rubbing soothing circles on his back and trying to comb his hair out of his eyes.  
  
  
“Kazu-chan, it’s okay.” He retched again as his brother spoke softly.  
  
  
He took a few gulps of air as he heard his brother instruct Ohno to fetch a towel. He let his head drop beneath the outside of the bowl, so that he felt the cool ceramic against his forehead.  
  
  
A few moments later he heard footsteps, then Jun gently tilted his head to the side so he could wipe his face clean. “Kazu?” Jun asked softly, “Can you sit up?”  
  
  
Nino ignored him. His chest still burned and he wanted more that anything to be anywhere else. Unfortunately his lack of response resulted in him being lifted off the ground gently into a sitting position. Nino startled when he realised Sho was the one who had lifted him, darting quickly away from his partner. He wrapped his arms around Jun, hiding his face against his brothers stomach.  
  
  
“Nino…” He heard Sho say timidly..  
  
  
“Did I…” Was all Nino could choke out, words muffled against Jun’s shirt.  
  
  
“You had a flashback Kazu,” Jun confirmed, though that much Nino had managed to guess.  
  
  
Nino pulled himself away from his brother, curling himself into a ball with his hands covering his face completely.  
  
  
“Did you tell…” He trailed off, knowing his brother would know the meaning.  
  
  
“No. Sho-kun looked after you but that’s it, I think he deserves an explanation though,” Jun said softly.  
  
  
Nino felt a hand gently pull his wrist, guiding his hands away from his eyes. Sho looked at him with a timid smile, raising his free hand in his signature awkward wave.  
  
  
“I don’t know how,” Nino said, staring back at Sho, his voice no louder than a whisper.  
  
  
“He needs to know what happened, it’s the only way he will understand,” Jun said sadly.  
  
  
Nino shook his head eyes fixed downwards, “I can’t say it.”  
  
  
He heard his brother take a shaky breath, “Do you want me to tell him?” Jun sounded unsteady, as if he was also unprepared for this reliving.  
  
  
Nino took a few moments before he nodded. “Sorry.”  
  
  
“It’s okay Kazu,” He took a deep breath before he begun to explain.  
 _  
  
-  
  
  
It had been six months since they had arrived at the house. He didn’t like the house at all, he and his brother lived there with eight other children of various ages. There were adults there, but not parents, they would come on different days, swap around at odd times.  
  
  
When they had arrived there they had been taken into a small room with a man and a woman in both dress in suits. “This will be your home until we find you a family to live with” The woman had said. “You won’t be here for long.”  
  
  
The worst part was that they had each been given their own room, and each child in the house had their own room. This house had rules, which meant Jun and Nino could not sleep in the same room. The first night Jun had cried and wailed in his room so much Nino though his heart would break with the pain. He sat up against the wall that shared with his brother, as if somehow that would calm him down.  
  
  
Jun often cried those first couple months, Nino tried to be strong for him, only letting himself cry silently in his room at night.  
  
  
Six months turned into two years, when they were told that the house would be closing. They all went to new houses, never seeing the other children again. This time the house only had three other Children, but they were all older than Nino and Jun. As Nino was just about to enter high school he promised himself he would look after Jun.  
  
  
-  
  
  
It hadn’t taken long for Jun to break down as he explained the events of all those years ago. But as soon as Ohno, who had been apparently standing in the doorway since getting the towel, noticed his boyfriend struggling he took over the explaining.  
  
  
Somewhere along the way Sho took Nino’s hand, squeezing it gently. Nino heard Sho sniffling at some point but didn’t dare look up at him.  
  
  
Just as Ohno started to explain how he had met the brothers, Aiba interrupted, letting them know that he had brought food up and that they better eat it before it goes cold. They only then seemed to realise that they had all been crammed inside the toilet the whole time. They all made their way out to eat, the air still heavy between them. Sho couldn’t help but smile despite himself when he saw the spread that Aiba had laid out. The was an omurice for all of them, each decorated with a silly face in ketchup. There was also a small amount of rice porridge which Sho assumed had been made with Nino in mind. Aiba had also brought up pudding cups and jelly, along with a steaming pot of tea.  
  
  
Nino avoided Sho’s gaze but stuck close by his side, not having let go of his hand. Aiba prompted them to start with a cheerful, “Dig in!” and they started to eat.  
  
  
Nino poked at his omurice with spoon as Sho poured him a cup of tea. Nino didn’t feel up to eating so he sat back and sipped his tea quietly instead, soothing his still sore throat. As soon as Sho started eating, he moaned appreciatively. “Aiba-chan this is really good.” Nino smiled as Sho’s comment lifted the mood considerably, Jun and Ohno agreeing with the statement happily.  
  
  
A few minutes after Sho had finished his serving noticed that Nino wasn’t eating, “You’re not hungry?’ He asked curiously.  
  
  
Nino gave his boyfriend a small smile, pushing his plate towards him. “Not really, you can have it.”  
  
  
Sho seemed a little torn for a moment, before shrugging and tucking in. But after a few mouthfuls he paused, biting only half the rice from his spoon. “You have to try this though, it’s so good.” Sho held the spoon to Nino’s mouth, guiding it in gently. Nino chewed slowly, still unsure if he was ready to eat.  
  
  
“I have eaten this before you know,” Nino said, rolling his eyes playfully.  
  
  
“You are just trying to make me jealous,” Sho smiled, nudging Nino fondly.  
  
  
Jun cleared his throat a little obviously, Nino glared at his brother, having remembered his presence. Sho let out a cough, awkwardness creeping back into the room. Nino fell silent again, anxiety welling up within him. He couldn’t forget how much this would change everything, even if it seemed okay for now.  
  
  
Nino got up from where he was sat, saying quietly, “I’m going to lay down.” Nino could feel their eyes on him as he moved away from them but ignored it as he tucked himself in. He dozed as he listened to them finish in silence.  
  
  
Eventually they moved back over to where he was lying, feeling Sho move to stroke his hair. Ohno asked quietly if Nino wanted him to continue the story. Nino just nodded slightly without opening his eyes.  
  
  
-  
  
  
On his third day at high school the teachers informed the class that they would be paired up with something called senior mentors. Nino wasn’t really paying attention until a chair was placed in front of him and a boy promptly sitting down in front of him.  
  
  
The teacher walked around and placed papers on the desks, when he looked around he noticed everyone in class was now facing someone new. Nino looked back to the boy in front of him who looked tired and didn’t appear to be paying attention either.  
  
  
When the teacher stopped talking and noise erupted from his classmates the kid of him broke the silence. “I’m Ohno.” Nino just stared back at him, the noise of the classroom drowning his senses. “And you are?”  
  
  
Nino paused for a moment before saying quietly “I’m Ninomiya.” Nino glanced down at the page they had been given, on it were a list of bland questions to help get to know each other. “What's the point of this?” Nino asked quietly.  
  
  
“They make us meet once a week for an hour so I can help you if you are having trouble with school I spose.” Ohno said, pulling out a sketchbook and starting to scribble something down.  
  
  
-  
  
  
The last day of school for that week Nino was wondering off to find a quiet place to read at lunch when he saw Ohno propped up against the fence, sketch book in hand. In a moment of spontaneity he walked over to where Ohno sat and dropped beside him to read.  
  
  
As the year dragged on, they gradually got to know each other despite the fact that neither of them talked much. Ohno was so different to anyone else he had known, it made him calm.  
  
  
-  
  
  
He was fifteen when the suited woman returned to his house one afternoon. She generally turned up six months and said a range of useless things. But this time she saw only him.  
  
  
“I hear you are going well at school, that's good to hear,” She always sounded like she was trying really hard to care. “Have you got many friends?”  
  
  
Nino shrugged.  
  
  
“I’m sure you have plenty,” She smiled a little too forcefully before her expression dropped to something unreadable which made Nino uneasy.  
  
  
“I noticed in your file that you have yet to see a psychologist to manage your past trauma,” She looked at Nino with a strange smile. “ I can see here that a plan was in place but it fell through around the time you moved last,”  She said pointing to the file in her hand.  
  
  
Nino just stared blankly at her.  
  
  
“So I have booked you in for a few sessions starting next week, you’ll start with once a week every Monday afternoon for a month. I’ll arrange for someone to pick you up from school.”  
  
  
When he left the room he went straight to his brother to relay the information. Jun didn’t have many thoughts on it either.  
  
  
-  
  
  
The next Monday he sat with Ohno and Aiba, who was one of Ohno’s rather talkative friends, but he was not listening to a word either of them said. All he could focus on was the heavy feeling of what that afternoon would mean.  
  
  
“Nino-kun, you don’t look so good, are you okay?” Aiba asked, snapping him out of his reverie.  
  
  
“Uh, I’m fine,” He mumbled. The other two gave him a questioning look but returned to their conversation.  
  
  
-  
  
  
It started gradually, at first during one particularly rowdy class Nino’s vision started to blur, the space around him losing its colour. His hands tingled with an unfamiliar feeling. Blinking a few times he managed to see clearly again. The experience left him feeling uneasy though.  
  
  
It was three weeks later one lunchtime when he lost his sight completely, feeling the grass beneath him harden and the school yard sounds muffled as if far away. He couldn’t recognise where he was but it felt eerily familiar. He started to panic as he felt tears stream down his face, his breathing so sharp it hurt with each intake of air. His hands… There was something wrong with his hands.  
  
  
But as soon as he had fallen in he felt a hand shaking his shoulder and his vision returning, coming eye to eye with Ohno.  
  
  
“Nino what's wrong?” Ohno asked, a deeply concerned look on his face.  
  
  
Nino struggled to force air into his lungs, as he reached down to pull some grass to confirm that was what was below him. “Where was I just now…” He mumbled to himself, tears still streaking down his face.  
  
  
“Nino-kun you are at school, you haven't moved from that spot all lunchtime,” Aiba said, looking very confused.  
  
  
Nino looked between the two of them, his face flushed red with creeping embarrassment. “I’m going home,”  Nino announced suddenly before pushing off the ground roughly.  
  
  
“Nino wait,” He heard Ohno say, a moment later grabbing his wrist to stop him. Nino stilled but couldn’t look at him. “I’ll go with you, let’s go to my place and play games instead.”  
  
  
Nino turned to look at Ohno, not sure how to respond. “That's a great idea Ohno-kun!” Aiba said excitedly. “I have a free now anyway.” As Nino hesitated Aiba just wrapped an arm around his shoulder ushering him along. “It’s better than going back to the house isn’t it.”  
  
  
Nino had told Aiba and Ohno about where he lived, those things were hard to avoid. They also knew that his parents had passed away but he had never gone into details.  
  
  
Nino had to admit, playing fighting games on Ohno’s PlayStation was the most fun he could remember having in a long time.  But when he returned home just after sunset reality hit him hard again to spoil his mood. He had gotten in so much trouble from the unit for skipping class, and they had had people out looking for him. He skipped dinner that night and after a while Jun snuck quietly into his room.  
  
  
“Why did you skip class?” He heard his little brother ask quietly.  
  
  
“I didn’t feel well.” Was all he could think to say.  
  
  
“But where did you go? Everyone was worried about you because you didn’t come home,” Jun said, a tinge of sadness in his voice.  
  
  
“I just went to my friends house, I should have called I suppose.” Nino sighed, getting up from his desk to flop down onto his bed, he was feeling exhausted.  
  
  
Jun moved to sit down next to him, “It’s okay, it’s just not like you so it was a bit of a surprise.” Jun lay down next to his brother, Nino feeling himself relax at the familiar presence.  
  
_

  
-  
  
  
Nino drifted in and out of awareness as Ohno told Sho about how he met Nino at school, stories of how his flashbacks started. He didn’t want to hear it, but the words were still drifting into his mind.  
  
  
When the story ended, Nino heard Sho ask quietly, “So he isn’t having any counselling or therapy at the moment?”  
  
  
Nino looked up at Sho sadly as he heard Ohno reply, “No, not since that time.”  
  
  
Sho made a slight hum of acknowledgement before noticing Nino staring back at him.  
  


  
-   
  
_   
It was the second week of a new school year, around six months since he had started therapy when it happened. Nino had been feeling a little sad since term started because Ohno had graduated last year and was no longer around. Although they still saw each other most days because Ohno had offered to tutor Nino, which was really just something he told the staff at his house as an excuse to come home late most nights. While they did do a bit of school work they mostly just played video games together.   
  
  
Nino felt completely comfortable around Ohno now, and he would complain about all the things that bothered him about living in the house. His caseworker, his curfews, the other kids, and even his therapy. “It’s not like I needed it anyway, I was fine for five years.” Ohno would just respond with noises of agreement or say, “That sucks,” when it was needed.   
  
  
_

_Nino had grown fond of Ohno which made him sad that he was no longer there to share the quiet company of. Aiba was still around, but he would be leaving at the end of the year as well, which he didn’t want to think about.  
  
  
He was sitting in class that day as one of his classmates was giving a really boring presentation when he felt was was now a familiar feeling of his vision fading. He was tired after staying up late reading so he didn’t think too much of it. It wasn’t until he was sat on a hardwood floor, hands feeling damp that he saw it. He saw his parents. They lay still as statues in pools of crimson blood.  
  
  
He screamed and tried to run, but something was pulling him. He needed to get away, he needed to escape, but he couldn’t. He screamed until he felt nothing more.  
  
  
-  
  
  
He woke up feeling extremely drowsy, opening his eyes he saw that he was lying in a hospital bed. His thoughts were muddled as he looked around, not knowing why he was here. He wasn’t sure how long he lay, staring into space before a nurse entered and seemed to notice he was awake.  
  
  
“Oh you are awake sweetie, how are you feeling?” The older woman said warmly, sounding like she actually was interested.  
  
  
“I don’t know… Where am I?” He asked, punctuating with a little cough, his throat felt so dry.  
  
  
The nurse moved to pour him some water from a jug on the side table before pressing a button which made his bed to rise up into a sitting position. She handed him the water helping guide it to his mouth as his hand was shaking. As he took a few sips she said gently, “You are in the hospital dear, you had a funny turn at school so they called an ambulance.”  
  
  
Nino knit his brows together not remembering anything, except that room… A chill ran down his spine as he felt bile rise in his throat. The nurse somehow having anticipated this placed a sterile dish by his mouth and rubbed his back as he threw up. “I don’t… I don’t…”  
  
  
The nurse continued to rub his back, hushing him, “It’s okay, you are okay.” She moved away, Nino feeling nervous as her warmth was gone. “I will go get your Doctor to talk to you some more okay.”  
  
  
The Doctor came and explained, being extremely friendly in the process. Nino didn’t care though, he asked if he could go home, but they said they wanted to keep him overnight. He let himself drift into a doze, trying to ignore the world around him.  
  
  
That was until his brother arrived, lunging himself forward onto Nino’s bed to wrap his arms tightly around his brother. Jun was shaking as he buried his face into Nino’s chest, trying to hide his crying. “Kazu-chan!” He wailed over and over again before adding, “You can’t leave me please!”  
  
  
“Shh Jun, I’m not going anywhere” Nino said hugging him until he stilled.  
  
  
“But what happened to you?!” Jun asked desperately.  
  
  
“I think the Doctor said it was like a flashback or something,” Nino said quietly. “I fainted and they couldn’t wake me up, so they took me here,” He left out the part about how he had been screaming, Jun probably wouldn’t want to hear that.  
  
  
“Do you mean, like you dreamed of back… When it happened,” Jun said quietly.  
  
  
Nino nodded, not meeting his brothers eyes, “Do you ever…” Nino started, “You know, dream of back then.”  
  
  
Jun sighed, “All the time, but I think what happened to you today was different.”  
  
  
“I know. I just don’t know-” Before he could finish his train of thought a loud crash echoed from the corridor, followed by someone apologizing repeated and shuffling noises. Nino and Jun exchanged confused glances before someone popped their head in the doorway, eyes searching until they found Nino.  
  
  
Ohno walked in, gesturing to someone on the other side of the doorway. “Aiba he is in here, hurry up!” Nino just stared back in shock as the older boys made their way towards his bed. Each dumping a plastic bag on his bedside table.  
  
  
“Nino-kun! I hope your feeling better, we brought some snacks and magazines in case you were hungry or bored,” Aiba said happily. He up one of the chairs closer to Nino’s bed, with Ohno moving to do the same thing.  
  
  
“How did you know where I was?” Nino asked, caught completely off guard by his friend's sudden appearance.  
  
  
“Well I was at school so I heard about…” Aiba trailed off, not wanting to remind Nino of the rumors that would have be going around the school that day. “So I asked the teachers where you got taken, we eventually figured it out,” Aiba said happily. “But never mind that, who is this?” drawing everyone's attention to Jun who was still curled up beside Nino, looking rather uncomfortable._

_  
  
“Oh, This is my little brother, Jun,” Nino said somewhat awkwardly, before adding. “Jun, these are my friends Ohno-sempai and Aiba-sempai.”  
  
  
While it was a little strange at first to be sitting in a hospital room with his brother and his friends he eventually felt relaxed and almost happy, Aiba pulled out a deck of cards and they started to play old maid and eating snacks to the point where Nino could forget why he was even in hospital at all.  
  
  
-  
  
  
As the years few by, Nino’s strange episodes would become a frequent experience. His last three years of school were plagued by blackouts and hospital visits. He was always being prescribed a different medication by different Doctors which would numb him but never stop the flashbacks.  
  
  
At school everyone avoided him, the only people who still treated him like a human were Ohno, Aiba and of course his brother. A couple months before Nino turned eighteen he moved out of the unit, and went to live with Ohno.  
  
  
He spent his post high school life in his room playing games, having no desire to study further or work. His brother would visit frequently, using the excuse that Ohno was also tutoring him. As the two of them grew closer Nino started to withdraw further into himself, reasoning that he was bad for those around him.  
  
  
It was was a few months after his twentieth birthday when Aiba came around one afternoon to declare his master plan.  
  
  
“It’s finally happened everyone!” He announced happily. When the other three didn’t respond he went on to say, “The restaurant! You know? From my grandfather's will? Well the lawyers have finally decided it’s mine!” He pranced around happily.  
  
  
“Oh wow that's great!” Jun said enthusiastically.  
  
  
Then Aiba turned to Nino, staring him down a little strangely before moving over to him and clasping Nino’s hand between his own. “I’ve given this a lot of thought, and I’ve decided that you Nino, are going to be my business partner!” He was so excited that Nino barely heard what he said.  
  
  
“Your what?” Nino echoed in disbelief.  
  
  
“It’s perfect! It’s only a small place so it will be totally manageable for the two of us!”  
  
  
“Oh that’s such a great idea!” Jun said, his excitement level rising.  
  
  
“But I don’t know anything about running or even working in a restaurant…” Nino said, not sold on the idea at all.  
  
  
“I already signed us up for a couple of short courses so we can get our licenses, and it’s not like there is that much you need to know” Aiba explained. “And plus you are the only one who can, Jun is in his last year of school, Ohno’s got his art… But you are free right?”  
  
  
Nino found it hard to argue with that logic. “I guess…”  
  
  
Aiba pat him on the shoulder enthusiastically “Plus I haven’t mentioned the best part, It’s an old building and above the restaurant there are two apartments! Isn’t that perfect one for each of us!”  
  
  
And so with that Nino fell easily into his comfortable lifestyle, still haunted by the past but at least sort of somewhat self reliant.  
_   
  
-  
  
  
That afternoon Sho gently guided Nino to the shower, as if just wanting anything else to do than sit in the awkward air of their apartment. Nino had fallen into a distant silence, just letting the world go by around him.  
  
  
He let Sho undress him and guide him under the spray. A moment later he noticed that Sho had gotten in with him, guiding Nino gently to sit on the floor. Sho started gently washing him, rubbing even circular motions on his back. Nino let his head drop into his hands, body shaking as he tried to stop himself from sobbing.  
  
  
He felt Sho still behind him, “Nino?” His voice was filled with sadness now.  
  
  
“You don’t have too,” Nino said quietly, voice uneven.  
  
  
“I don’t mind,” Sho replied a little confused as he started washing Nino again  
  
  
“No, I mean,” Nino said, his voice low and serious, “You don’t have to stay with me.”  
  
  
Sho stilled again, “What do you mean?” Nino thought he heard a little tremble in Sho’s words.  
  
  
“Like full stop. I hid all this from you and it’s not fair on you for me to just expect that you would be fine with it,” Nino let his thoughts spill out. “I don’t want you to stay with me out of pity, that’s just not-”  
  
  
Nino stopped as Sho’s arms suddenly wrapped around him tightly, “I’m not with you because I feel sorry for you,” Sho said, tone deathly serious. “I’m with you because you make me smile, because even though you tease me you are still caring. I’m with you because we have so much stupid fun together. I’m with you because…” Sho’s voice went quiet as he said, “I’m with you because I love you.”  
  
  
They sat in silence, water beating down from the shower sounding incredibly loud. “Sho-chan?” Nino was wondering if he heard him correctly. Nino shifted so he was facing Sho.  
  
  
So sighed, “I know it’s probably been easier for you to push people away, but I don’t think you’re bad for me. The last few months I spent with you… I’ve been happy.”  
  
  
Nino looked away from Sho, focusing on the sound of the water, watching the steam rising in delicate curls. “I’m never going to get better,” He said quietly, eyes fixed on the tiles beneath him.  
  
  
Sho gently took Nino’s hand, giving it a slight squeeze. “That doesn’t mean you have to be alone,” Sho said sadly.  
  
  


Nino broke down, body trembling as he sobbed loudly. He felt so weak and powerless, “I’m so sorry,” He said messily between sobs. “I’ve ruined everything,”   
  
  
Sho sighed, the moved forward to wrap his arms around Nino, bodies pressed close. “Please stop apologising, I have made my decision.” He pulled back to face Nino, it was then that Nino noticed he was crying. “I love you,” Sho breathed before kissing Nino tenderly.   
  


  
-

  
  
They spent the rest of the afternoon watching TV, the four of them spread lazily around while Aiba prepped the restaurant downstairs. Nino had politely been given the evening off, which he acknowledged with a small nod as Aiba spoke.  
  
  
Nino sat with Jun on the couch for most of the afternoon, feeling comforted by his brother's presence. He embraced sleep as it flooded him again, not wanting to feel anything anymore. At some point he was woken for dinner, which he ate reluctantly, still feeling uneasy from the morning.  
  
  
Eventually his brother and Ohno left, Jun promising he would call Nino and Ohno giving him a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder. Once they had left Nino joined Sho on the couch again, pressing his side to Sho softly. Nino took a couple shaky breaths before saying, “Thank you,” His voice quiet, “For staying with me.”  
  
  
Sho didn’t reply, just looked at him with a warm gentle smile before wrapping his arm around him and holding him tightly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time no post right? It took me a while to decide what I wanted to do with this chapter because it's kind of complex I suppose. Sorry to those who waited and commented! I cannot thank you enough everyone, as this is my first published work it really makes me happy to others enjoying it!
> 
> I don't know if this is a good thing or not, but we are not finished yet! More to come soon!


	10. Chapter 10

  
The next few days passed in a blur, it was strangely ordinary now having Sho around. The were times when he would stop himself, glancing at Sho to see if he was looking at him differently. Nino had been most afraid that Sho would start worrying about him constantly, wrapping him in cotton wool like everyone around him did so naturally. But he didn’t really change much at all, if anything he almost seemed more comfortable around Nino now. As if he had overcome the one thing that had gotten between them.    
  
  
“I was wondering…” Sho started one night at dinner, “Where you would want to go for another date?”    
  
  
“Oh,” Nino paused, “I haven’t really thought about it to be honest.”    
  
  
“I just thought I should ask because I got it so wrong last time,” Sho said without looking at Nino, eyes fixed on his food.    
  
  
Nino frowned, “That wasn’t your fault, I was too nervous to sleep the night before and got worked up, that’s all,” He felt a blush rise on his cheeks as he remembered the embarrassing day.    
  
  


“I didn’t mean… You have to admit I overplanned it, I just got over excited.” Sho tried to say lightly.    
  
  
Nino gave him a small smile, “You have to admit the day was not entirely terrible.”    
  
  
This time Sho’s cheeks went red, but for an entirely different reason. He cleared his throat before saying, “But now we know each other better it will be easier to find something we both enjoy you know?” He said quickly.    
  
  
“I don’t really care to be honest, I like spending time with you like this. Why do we have to go on dates?” Nino said, disinterested.    
  
  
Sho visibly deflated, “I think it’s fun, we can get pictures and eat different food and just do things we can’t do at home.” Sho seemed a little lost for a point before adding quickly, “We can make memories I guess, If we just sit at home together every night then that we be all we remember. I’m not sure if I want that.”   
  
  
“Ah… Well…” Nino’s throat was dry as he struggled to push the words out. “I tried to warn you… that maybe you wouldn’t want me like this…”    
  
  
“No! Nino that’s not what I meant,” Sho rubbed his eyes tiredly, “Of course I want this. I want you. I love you,” He rattled off easily, not seeming to care that Nino was yet to return the words. “Because of those things I want to take out and treat you from time to time. Is that okay?”    
  
  
Nino who was a little shocked at Sho’s reaction nodded slowly in response, letting out a quiet “It’s okay.”    
  
  
Sho smiled warmly back at him, “Okay so I am just going to be straight with this because I think we need to get past a few things before we trust each other fully,” Nino nodded, reassured by Sho’s kind tone. “You don’t like going to busy places do you?”    
  
  
Nino just looked back at him a little dumbfounded, “Well obviously.”    
  
  
“It’s because of your flashbacks?” Nino flinched a little at the word but gave a small nod. “Do crowds trigger you?”    
  
  
Nino thought for a moment, “No, not really,” He said quietly.    
  
  
Sho looked a little confused, “What makes crowds difficult then?” He said softly.    
  
  
Nino pinched his eyebrows together. “Do I have to tell you?”    
  
  
Sho reached over and held Nino’s hand reassuringly, “I won’t judge, I just want to try understand.”    
  
  
Nino held his forehead in his other hand before saying, “It’s embarrassing,” He sighed before clarifying, “The reason.”   
  
  
“It won’t change anything if you tell me,” Sho said softly.   
  
  
Nino took in a deep breath, “When there are too many people it gets so noisy… I get nervous… I get scared.” He started feeling nervous, but Sho gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. “Not of the people, I get scared that I will black out,” He took a few steadying breaths. “It happened a few times when I was still in school, I would be in the middle of class and the next thing I would know is waking up in hospital.”   
  
  
He felt Sho give his hand a squeeze, hearing a small, “Nino…” Fall softly from Sho’s lips.   
  
  
“At least when I am home or at the restaurant someone can usually deal with me. But when I am out people think I’m mad, they either call the police or an ambulance. Either way I end up in hospital.” Somewhere in Nino’s story he had started shaking, Sho moving closer to wrap his arms around him.   
  
  
Sho hushed him gently, rubbing reassuring circles over his back. “That makes sense,” He said softly.   
  
  
From somewhere unknown Nino felt a rush of courage, turning to look at Sho directly, “You don’t understand,” He said roughly shaking his head. “They want to admit me.”    
  
  
Sho looked a little stunned, “Admit you?”    
  
  
“To a psych ward,” Nino said, feeling tears well in his eyes.   
  
  
Sho pulled him into a tight hug, so that they were not longer facing each other. “That won’t happen. I’m going to look after you from now on okay?” Sho said softly.   
  
  
Nino let the sobs over come him as Sho held him, barely managing to whisper, “Thank you.”   
  
  
-   
  
  
Somehow Nino started to feel more and more comfortable around Sho, and they eventually started speaking of Nino’s flashbacks as if it was just another boring part of life like the weather. Sho was often curious and would ask questions to try and do the right thing by Nino.    
  
  
“What should I do if you’re having a bad dream?” Sho asked as they were laying in bed together one evening, Sho reading a book while Nino played his DS.   
  


  
Nino thought for a moment before simply saying, “Hug me.”  
  
  
Sho put the book down to look at Nino, timidly asking “What if you seem scared of me?”  
  
  
Nino looked back at Sho, moving his hand up to stroke his face lightly, “Don’t let go… I’ll figure out it’s you eventually.” He said with a sad smile.  
  
  
\-   
  
  
A few days later while they were out grocery shopping Sho asked, “Do you ever hurt yourself when you have a flashback?”  
  
  
Nino paused from trying to pick the best looking tomato, looking at Sho carefully “What do you mean?”  
  
  
“Like when I saw you last time you tried to run away from me and kept bumping into things…” Sho said quietly, “Do you ever get like cuts and bruises?”  
  
  
“Oh…” Said Nino turning back to the tomatoes. “I suppose I do yeah.”  
  
  
“Do you think it would be better if I stopped you moving?” Sho asked as they pushed the trolley along aisle.  
  
  
“How do you mean?” Nino said while selecting some mushrooms from the display.  
  
  
“Like hold you until you still I suppose?” Sho said thoughtfully.  
  
  
Nino turned to look at Sho again, “I might hurt you instead though… I’m not sure about that.”  
  
  
“Next time I will try it out, if it works it works, if it doesn't we will try something new.” Sho decided before stealing the trolley and pushing it away a little too quickly.  
  
  
-  
  
  
That night at Sho’s house while Nino was cooking them dinner, Sho leaned against the counter and asked “Should I call your brother every time you have a flashback?”  
  
  
“No.” Nino paused, trying to figure out how to explain himself, “I’d prefer if you didn’t call him at all when it happens…”  
  
  
“But last time it seemed like he was the only one who got through to you… When ever I went near you, you got so scared and tried to run away, but with Matsumoto-kun you… recognised him? You calmed down as soon as he got there,” Sho wondered.   
  
  
“It’s not just about me though.” Nino sighed. “He works himself up so bad when I get sick, even though he doesn’t seem as bad as me I know he is still hurting.” Nino said quietly.   
  
  
“Nino…” Sho said quietly, a little lost for words.   
  
  
Nino moved over to Sho and wrapped him in gentle embrace, pressing his cheek against Sho’s shoulder. “Everyone is so quick to worry about me, they tend to forget about themselves,” Nino said a little sadly. “I’m his big brother,” Nino said firmly as if he needed to remind himself. “But it hasn’t been that way since that day, he has been the one having to pick up the pieces when I break.”   
  
  
Sho gently stroked Nino’s hair, “It doesn’t have to be like that. I can help, I know it doesn’t seem like I can but I will do everything in my power to help you.”   
  
  
It was almost strange to Nino how not strange it was to talk about his feelings with Sho. He was never told he was being selfish or cold, Sho listened to his reasoning, seeming more interested in what Nino thought was good himself even when Nino could see Sho wince when he said something particularly harsh.   
  
  
As each day with Sho passed, Nino felt more and more at ease. While he still had rather frequent nightmares, he didn’t seem to carry the anxiety through the day as much as he used to.   
  
  
After a steady month of being honest with each other Nino agreed to go to lunch with Sho, and as much as his now official boyfriend called it a date, Nino refused to consider it as such since his brother and Ohno were also going to be present.   
  
  
Nevertheless the night before as they were settling in bed together, Nino had to kiss Sho just to stop him rambling enthusiasm about the upcoming date. Though Sho seemed to be just as enthusiastic about making out so it seemed to work in their favour.   
  
  
Sometime later that night after they had both fallen asleep Nino fell into the familiar blackness of a nightmare. He was only aware of the fact upon waking to find himself dripping with sweat and struggling for breath, Sho’s arms wrapped tightly around him. As he struggled to get his bearings he noticed that Sho’s body was shaking erratically beside him. He slowly lifted a hand to stroke Sho’s hair soothingly, but he paused as he felt warm fresh tears against his skin. Nino felt his panic start to build as he heard a few sobs escape Sho, “Sho-chan?” he asked, voice unsteady.   
  
  
Nino pulled away in a hurry to reach for the lamp on the bedside table, hearing Sho whimper as they broke contact, “I’m sorry.” Sho sobbed quietly as the lamp light suddenly filled the room.   
  
  
Nino was a little stunned at first to see Sho, who had now pulled himself up into a small ball, tears streaking his cheeks. It was the first time Sho had broken down in front of Nino and to be honest that thought filled him with dread. “Sho-chan,” He managed to say quietly, “Did I-” He paused for a moment, “Did I hurt you?” He asked not wanting to know the answer.   
  
  
“Nino…” Sho slowly pulled himself around Nino in a gentle embrace, resting his chin on Nino’s shoulder. “No, You didn’t hurt me,” He said faintly at Nino’ side.   
  
  
Nino knotted his eyebrows in frustration. “You can tell me, I know I can be pretty rough, Ohno used to show me all his bruises,” Sho flinched a little at Nino’s words.   
  
  
“I promise you didn’t hurt me,” Sho said, still quiet, but with a firmer tone to his words.   
  
  
“Then why are you crying?” Nino asked desperately, voice breaking a little over the words.   
  
  
“I…” Sho started before pulling back to face Nino properly. “I’m sorry, I’ve had a crazy week at work and…” Sho trailed off, looking down.   
  
  
Nino sighed, “Don’t apologize. It was my nightmare right? I scared you.” He rubbed a hand over his face roughly, unpleasant thoughts spinning around his head.   
  
  
Sho looked up at Nino again sadly. “You didn’t scare me, you never scare me.” Sho took a moment to gather his thoughts before explaining, “I just feel… useless sometimes, when you are in pain, when you are hurting… And there is nothing I can do but watch.”   
  
  
Nino smiled sadly, “You are not useless. To have someone here when I come back from that place…” Nino paused, looking down. “I can never thank you enough for how much it means to me.”  
  
  
Neither of them managed to sleep much after that, instead eventually opting to have a bath together before curling up on the couch together and watching tacky early morning television programs.   
  
  
Nino made sure Sho had drunk plenty of coffee before driving them to their lunch with Ohno and Jun. Sho seemed considerably less excited than the previous day, still seeming a little shaken up from the previous night.  
  
  
They met the others outside the okonomiyaki restaurant that they had decided on, Nino noticing Jun glancing over at him, as if needing visual confirmation that he was in fact alive. They settled into a booth quietly, Sho immediately looking over the menu as Nino rested his head against the wall, letting his eyes drop closed.   
  
  
He listened as the others started talking quietly around him, but as they mostly talked about work Nino didn’t make any effort to join in. He felt Sho rub his arm gently when their drinks arrived, but he didn’t make any effort to move until he heard his brother ask, “Kazu-chan?” 

  
  
Nino sat up with a “Hmm?” Looking back at his brothers familiar concerned expression.   
  
  
“Are you feeling okay? You seem kind of out of it,” Jun asked.   
  
  
Just before he could reply Sho stifled a yawn, Nino glared at him teasingly and rolled his eyes before answering, “Just a little tired.”   
  
  
Jun went to say something but was instead met with a sharp shove from Ohno, who followed it up with a meaningful look. Jun looked confused for a moment before a red blush stained his cheeks and he quickly changed the subject. Sho also followed suit with a blush, knowing what the other two had probably assumed was the reason for his tiredness. Nino just rolled his eyes with a smirk, much happier that his brother had assumed that reason for their exhaustion had been them having sex instead of the real reason.  
  
  
They had a casual lunch, Nino didn’t eat too much but Sho happily looked after his portion. Nino teasing that he was starting to get fat, which Sho heartily denied. Nino couldn’t help notice the odd weary glance that Jun threw in Sho’s direction from time to time, but he tried to ignore it.   
  
  
After lunch they caught an afternoon screening of one of the new blockbuster films, which Nino  
and Sho proceeded to sleep through entirely. Nino teased Sho relentlessly when he woke up to find that Sho had dribbled on his shoulder, Jun adding that it was a little worrying Sho seemed to be adopting Nino’s sleep habits.   
  
  
They spent some time after the movie aimlessly wandering through a shopping street, which didn’t seem very busy for a Saturday afternoon. Nino broke off with Ohno and started messing around with random dollar store items. Sho and Jun trailed behind, an awkward silence between them.   
  
  
Sho still found it hard to talk to Jun, he still didn’t really know him very well which made Sho fear saying the wrong thing in his presence. After an embarrassingly long length of silence Jun asked, “So everything thing is okay?”   
  
  
Sho looked at him confused, “Okay?” he repeated.  
  
  
Jun cleared his throat a little before answering, “With Kazu-chan?” Jun thought a moment before expanding, “With you and Kazu, with dating Kazu…” It didn’t feel like a question, more like Jun trying to convince himself of the fact.  
  
  
Sho smiled a little nervously, “Yeah, it’s great. Nothing to worry about.”  
  
  
Jun bit his lip and knotted his eyebrows together in thought. “I don’t mean this in a rude way…”   
He started, Sho already feeling defensive. “I just… I can’t not worry you know.”  
  
  
They both paused to look over at Nino who was laughing with Ohno about some item they had found. “I can’t even imagine how hard it’s been for you all these years,” Sho started softly. “But I think he is happy now he has someone who he can share his… Share his pain with I guess, without having to rely on you.” Sho felt a little nervous as let the words out, watching and Jun seemed to contemplate them carefully.   
  
  
“I get it, I know he has always hated me looking out for him,” Sho winced at Jun’s blunt words. “I just feel like he has been pushing me away more lately.”   
  
  
“I’m sorry you feel that way…” Sho said awkwardly, not knowing what else to say.   
  
  
“It’s not your fault, it just makes me nervous because in the past it's always led to breakdowns,” Jun said, eyes fixed on Nino.   
  
  
Sho followed his gaze looking towards his partner, “It will be strange to you for a while I think, but keep in mind that he is not alone, we are-” Sho stopped talking as Nino buckled over, bringing a hand to his head and letting out a sharp gasp.   
  
  
Before Sho could even think Jun had left his side, rushing to his brother, “Kazu? What’s wrong?”   
  
  
Sho moved over to them, but keep a few paces back so as not to crowd Nino, hearing him grumble “Nothing J, it’s just a headache.” Sho watched Nino rubbed his temples soothingly.   
  
  
Jun looked worried over Nino’s crouched form, “Do you want come back to our place? We’ve got that medi-”   
  
  
“No J,” Nino huffed before moving over to cling at Sho’s arm, “Can we go home now?”  
  
  
Sho froze at Nino’s question, all too aware of Jun’s eyes on him though he looked directly at Nino.  
  
  
After a couple awkward moments it was Ohno who broke the silence. “We should probably call it a day Jun, I think we are all tired.”  
  
  
“Yeah that’s true.” Jun said quietly.  
  
  
They all headed back to their cars in silence, Nino clinging to Sho and Ohno walking with an arm around Jun’s waist. As they went to say goodbye, Nino let go of Sho and moved to give Jun a hug. “Thanks for today J, I had fun.”  
  
  
“Umm, No problem Kazu-chan…” Jun said quietly, returning the hug “I will see you again soon okay.”  
  
  
Nino just nodded with a smile and moved to get into Sho’s car, “See you later!” Sho waved, which was returned by the other two before joining Nino in the car.  
  
  
“That was nice of you to hug him like that.” Sho said as he started the engine.  
  
  
“Well he is my brother so it’s regular right…” Nino mumbled, closing his eyes as he rested his head against the car window.  
  
  
Sho just hummed in approval as he pulled out of the car park.  
  
  
\-   
  
  
On nights Nino worked Sho would often wait in the restaurant until he was done and help him pack up at the end of the night. It was nice to keep the little habits they had made before they started dating and Aiba didn’t mind unless Sho distracted Nino. So usually Sho would just read a book and eat while Nino and Aiba busily ran the restaurant around them.   
  
  
That evening when Sho had arrived Nino didn’t seem to be in the best mood, only giving him a small greeting before promptly ignoring him in favour of work. Sho never really minded when Nino was cold, he knew it was usually when he had trouble sleeping so he never took it to heart. Sho just settled in with a novel and ate his curry in peace, Aiba striking up a casual conversation when he finished eating. The only thing that drew his attention back to his boyfriend was the sound of a plate smashing, Sho looked over at Nino to find him looking utterly frustrated.   
  
  
Sho made a movement to get up but received a glare and a sharp, “I don’t need your help,” before Nino knelt down behind the counter and out of sight.   
  
  
Sho glanced at Aiba who just shrugged, confused expression. Sho went back to his book but just moments later heard a gasp of pain from Nino.   
  
  
“Did you cut yourself?” Aiba called over from where he was tidying the bench. But there wasn’t a response. “Nino-kun?” he called again, Sho stood up and leaned over the counter to see Nino’s small body crouched over a pile of shards, unmoving. Aiba moved to crouch down beside him, pulling his hands out from where Nino had been grasping them. “Nino?” Aiba sounded worried as he revealed Nino’s small hands, blood flowing from a fresh gash on his palm. “Sho-kun this looks bad.”   
  
  
Sho rushed around the counter kneeling directly in front of Nino’s face, but his expression was distant, tears trailing down his cheeks. “I’ll take him upstairs, will you be okay down here?” Sho said quickly as Nino started to whimper.   
  
  
“Yeah I’ll be fine, I might call Toma-kun or Oh-chan to help out if I need it,” Aiba thought quickly.. Sho wasted no time, simply lifting Nino over his shoulder and carrying him up the stairs, receiving several surprised looks from customers which he ignored.   
  
  
When Sho got him to his flat he was still not responding to anything Sho said and was babbling incoherently. It certainly seemed like a flashback, but this time he didn’t seem to notice Sho’s presence, as opposed to last time when he had been terrified of him. Nino seemed to be mostly fixated on his bloody hand, which he grasped tightly in his other. Sho directed Nino firmly to the couch where he seemed to sit obediently, whimpering only a little. Sho went to the bathroom, wetting a towel with warm water and grabbing a few dry ones. He cleaned Nino up gently before pressing a fresh towel to his hand and holding it firm to try stop the bleeding. He leaned close, using his free hand to embrace Nino, resting his head on his shoulder and whispered calming words.   
  
  
Nino continued to sob and Sho continued to hold him for a good portion of the next hour. He never stopped crying but his breathing became less panicked and his whimpers grew silent. He still didn’t seem to recognise Sho when he tried to talk to him but he figured it would probably come with time.   
  
  
Sho was starting to relax a little more himself as their bodies seemed to gradually go limp against the couch when he heard a strange noise outside. He tried to ignore it but before he could the unmistakable sound of footsteps coming up the stairs was all he could focus on. The strange part was that there was definitely more than one person making their way up. Barely moments later the door swung open with and loud crash and Sho felt Nino immediately tense in his arms.   
  
  
“Sakurai!” Came Jun’s fierce call. Sho looked around at him in shock, unable to comprehend the situation. “Why didn’t you call! What the hell happened?!” He demanded as he moved towards the couch where the were still sitting. Nino started to whimper again.   
  
  
“Jun, please calm down,” Sho heard Ohno call from somewhere behind.   
  
  
But just as Ohno’s words filled the room Jun roughly shoved Sho out of the way so he could reach his brother, and as his did Sho lost grip on the towel that he had been pressing against Nino’s injury, the bloodstain becoming clearly visible.   
  
  
Sho could hardly believe the events that followed as he heard Ohno curse before rushing over. The moment Jun caught sight of the blood he immediately fainted, and unfortunately Nino appeared to notice this. He rushed to his brothers side, fresh tears rolling down his face, voice panicked as he shook Jun’s limp form, “Jun! No, please not again! Jun please!” He wailed. “Don’t leave me Jun!” Nino gripped his brother so tightly his knuckles went white.   
  
  
“What the…” Sho started, stunned.   
  
  
“I’m sorry Sho-kun really, I tried to stop him barging in like this,” Ohno said, voice unusually unsteady. They both sat in silence for a moment as the chaos of the scene unfolded around them. Nino pressed his forehead against his brothers unmoving body, heavy sobs causing him to shake with each sound. Ohno seemed to snap into action when he saw the bloody towel discarded on the floor. “We need to clean up.”   
  
  
“What?” Sho asked, not understanding how that was in any way important.   
  
  
“Jun faints whenever he sees blood, and if he wakes up and looks at it he will just pass out again,” Ohno quickly explained as he snatched up the towel.   
  
  
“Uh…” Sho mumbled, his gaze drifting to Nino, “I just want to try calm him down.” He said quietly. He looked up at Ohno who gave him an apprehensive glance. “I managed to calm him down before you arrived, just let me try okay?”   
  
  
Ohno considered him for a moment before nodding.   
  
  
\-   
  
  
As soon as Nino woke he knew everything was wrong, for starters the fact the he was waking up at all when he was sure the last thing he remembered was dropping a plate during service. The second thing that was wrong was that he appeared to be shirtless, now he had definitely been wearing clothes, he remembered that much at least.   
  
  


He slowly opened his eyes to confirm his next suspicion that the person laying next to him was actually his brother. He let out a heavy sigh, before turning to glance a the time which surprised him. He looked back at his brother who was fully dressed, sleeping in a somewhat awkward position.

  
  
Nino sat up to look around the room, the lamp was on but there was no one else around that he could see. He got up to put a shirt on, feeling a sting of pain he looked down at his hand to see it was now covered in a bulky white dressing. While piecing together what had probably happened he made his way quietly to the door, trying not to wake Jun up as he left the room.  
  
  
He walked quietly to the top of the stairs, pausing on the first step to look down at the restaurant without drawing attention to himself. Aiba, Sho and Ohno were all silently closing up at the end of the night.  
  
  
Sho wore a grim expression as he wiped table tops, and the other two simply seemed exhausted. Once they were finished Aiba was the one to finally break the silence, as they all sat side by side at the bar. “We are going to have to come up with a better way to deal with this.”   
  
  
“We need to be thinking about the both of them, not just Nino-kun,” Sho said seriously as Nino shifted slightly to get comfortable, glad to hear he wouldn’t be the sole topic of conversation.  
  
  
“Oh yes of course, it’s just tricky because sometimes they are really help each other, but other times they make each other worse,” Aiba said trying to work through the problem.  
  
  
“Whatever happens, I never want a repeat of today,” Sho said, tone deathly serious. “I feel like the problem is somewhat about Matsumoto-san not trusting me to behave in Nino’s best interests.” Nino frowned a little at that, he couldn’t help pick up on the tone of dislike Sho displayed when he talked about his brother. He felt a pang of guilt, as if maybe Sho’s impression of his brother had been influenced by Nino’s regular complaints about him. But he really would prefer they all least could get along.  
  
  
“I don’t know about that…” Aiba said a little awkwardly.  
  


  
“It’s more that this is new for him, having an extra person there for Nino,” Ohno said, head rested on his folded arms. “I think on some level he is scared of letting Nino go, to let him make his own decisions.”   
  
  
Nino leaned forward slightly, watching as the three of them sat in silence after Ohno’s words. Eventually Sho sighed, stretching his arms over his head before saying, “It feels more like he is just waiting for me to mess up, like he thinks I’m turning Nino against him or something…” Sho said quietly, the pettiness in his tone making seem less than his usual mature self.   
  
  
“If there is one thing they both have in common, it’s that they are slow to trust,” Aiba said calmly. “And can you really blame them after what they have been through.”   
  
  
“But we need to think of a better way to deal with these… Incidents as they arise, because long term if we continue this way… It’s not sustainable…” Sho didn't elaborate any further on that thought but a sinking feeling in Nino’s gut made him feel as if he understood Sho’s greater implications, which he could not bear thinking about…   
  
  
Ohno made a small humming noise. “It’s a tough situation for sure…” Ohno said before his eyes moved up to the spot where Nino was sitting, “What do you think Nino? Got any ideas?” Ohno said, a slight smile tugging at his lips. Nino watched as Sho and Aiba’s expressions suddenly changed upon noticing his presence.   
  
  
“Hey how long have you been there?” Aiba asked sounding slightly affronted.   
  
  
Nino pulled himself up with a sigh, “Long enough to hear all of that.” Now that he had been spotted he decided to move down the stairs, walking around to sit next to Sho, who had gone bright red with embarrassment.   
  
  
“I’m sorry... I shouldn’t have spoken about your brother like that,” Sho said visibly upset. Nino was about to brush it off when he noticed tears threatening to fall from Sho’s eyes.   
  
  
“Sho-chan…” He pulled his partner into a tight hug, feeling Sho return it almost instantly, burying his face in Nino’s shoulder. “I’m not upset with you… I mean I don’t know what happened really but if Jun behaved like he usually does then you are allowed to be annoyed at him.”   
  
  
Sho held him tightly and sighed, wiping his tears quickly, “Well at least you are feeling better.” Before letting him go gently, still holding his hand but allowing him enough room to sit down beside him.   
  
  
“So…” Nino started awkwardly, “What happened this time?” The other three looked at him silently before he added, “I mean, all I can remember is dropping the plate, next thing I know I am waking up next to J which usually means I’ve blacked out…”   
  
  
After another moment of silence Aiba replied, “You cut yourself pretty badly which I assume caused you to…” Aiba seemingly lost his train of thought for a moment. “And I mean, it was fine, Sho-kun took you upstairs and calmed you down, it’s just that I was struggling a bit with the restaurant on my own so…”   
  
  
“He called me,” Ohno explained. “But when I told Jun that I was going to help out because you couldn’t, he insisted to come along… And well long story short, he barged into your apartment yelling at Sho-kun but caught sight of your hand and fainted.”   
  
  
Nino sighed, resting his forehead in his hand as he felt a headache coming on. “This is getting ridiculous.” He sighed.   
  
  
“I think we all need to sit down and talk this out calmly…” Aiba said seemingly a little unsure.   
  
  
“Let’s leave it for the morning though, I think we could all use a rest,” Ohno decided.   
  
  
They all agreed that was the best course of action and headed upstairs. Since Jun was still sleeping Aiba suggested that Nino and Sho stay in his spare room for the night so that they didn’t have to wake him up.   
  
  
As Sho and Nino settled into Aiba’s spare bed they Nino sad quietly, “ Thank you.”   
  
  
“Hmm, what for?” Sho said sleepily, turning on his side so he could properly look at Nino.   
  
  
“For looking after me.” Nino said simply.   
  
  
-   
  
  
The following morning over breakfast the five of them had a somewhat awkward conversation. Jun looked a little worse for wear after the previous night and was keeping oddly quiet.   
  


  
“I just feel like from now on we should probably have a plan in place to make sure Nino gets the best help when he needs it,” Aiba said while pouring himself a second cup of coffee.  
  
  
Nino sighed, somewhat resenting the fact that they needed to have this conversation, “I think probably… First come first serve kind of basis would be easiest,” Nino said cringing a little at the notion. “Like I mean, if I’m with Sho he can deal with it, or if I am with Aiba he can… As long as you guys are fine with that,” He added a little unsure.  
  
  
“What if they can’t calm you down…” Jun said quietly.  
  
  
Nino paused for a moment to work out is response before saying, “I don’t want them to call you, I always get over it eventually…”  
  
  
Jun bit his lip a little before saying, “I just feel like I can help you best in those situations.”  
  
  
“It’s not fair on you or Oh-chan though,” Nino said quickly. “I worry about you rushing over here every time you hear something might be wrong, I know it upsets you to see me like that.”  
  
  
“But it upsets all of us… I would be worried if it didn’t,” Jun said a little defensively.  
  
  
“Well thanks,” Nino rolled his eyes. “But you are the closest to this, it affects you on a much deeper level than the others.”  
  
  
They sat in silence for a few moments before Aiba chimed in, “Look obviously there is no simple solution here… But I think for the time being we try it the way Nino want’s, if we need to make changes in the future then we can discuss it then. Do we all agree?”  
  
  
There were various nods and grunts from around the table as they all agreed. Just before they winded down completely though Nino spoke again, “There is just one other thing though.”  
  
  
The other four looked at him curiously, Sho asking gently, “What is it?”  
  
  
“I think we need to work on our trust a little more… Specifically J and Sho-chan…” Nino said, trailing off a little towards the end.  
  
  
“What do you mean?” J asked sounding a little offended but trying to brush it off as surprise.  
  
  
“I mean you need to trust that Sho is looking after me, I know it’s hard because you haven't known him very long or very well but he works really hard to look after me… Especially at those times...”  
  
  
“I…” Jun trailed off, searching for a response that he failed to find.  
  
  
“I want you and Oh-chan to get to know him better so you won’t have to worry, so I thought maybe we should all do dinner together once a week,” Nino said feeling a little nervous. “We can either go out, or I could cook… Whatever is easiest.”  
  
  
“I would really like that…” Sho said sounding a little uneasy, “Nino means so much to me that I really want us all to get along, you are his family after all.”  
  
  
Jun and Ohno traded glances for a second before Jun said, “That is a great idea Kazu-chan…”  
  
  
-  
  
  
That weekend Sho asked if he could take Nino on a date again, Nino was not overly excited as he only had the morning free but he begrudgingly agreed anyway. This time it was not so bad getting up early though, the two stayed at Sho’s the night before and slept easily, comfortable in each other's arms.  
  
  
Nino was quiet as Sho bundled him into the car, too tired to enquire as to what Sho’s plans were for the day. They started the day at a small yet tidy cafe with mismatched chairs and rustic decor. It was rather quiet which Nino appreciated, only fitting a few tables at a time. The food was simple yet satisfying and the endless coffee refills were very much appreciated. Nino had a great time watching Sho shovel eggs and sausages into his mouth enthusiastically while trying to maintain a coherent conversation.  
  
  
When they got into the car a second time, Nino leaned over and pulled Sho into a soft sweet kiss before Sho could start the engine. They took a few moments to slowly explore each other’s lips before Sho pulled away, loving smile remaining on his face.  
  
  
It wasn’t overly surprising that the place Sho had chosen next was the Aquarium. While it did feel like a similar choice to last times zoo trip, this felt a lot better. On a full stomach exploring a place like this actually seemed kind of fun, and with Sho at his side he felt safe, like nothing bad could penetrate their bubble of happiness. They didn’t talk much, just pointed out the interesting sea life as they walked through the coolly lit displays. When they reached the final and largest tank, they found a seat along a back wall where they could sit and gaze at the impressive wall of glass. After a few minutes Nino leaned closer to Sho, his head dropping comfortably onto Sho’s shoulder.  
  
  
“Was today okay?” He heard Sho say gently as he was watching a manta ray glide through the water.  
  
  
Nino gave a small nod, “Today was good,” he said simply.  
  
  
Nino felt Sho’s arms snake around him in a tight hug, his nose nuzzling into Nino’s hair as he all but whispered “I love you.”  
  
  
Nino pulled away ever so slightly so that he could face Sho, leaning in close as he pressed his lips ever so gently against Sho’s in the sweetest of kisses and all he could think was ‘I love you too.’  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with this story, there is still more to come (isn't there always ^^;) Thanks again for all those who leave comments or kudos, it really motivates me to keep going. :)
> 
> Just a small note that I am heading to Japan next week for a trip so the next update will likely be a month away at least. I tried to leave this chapter in a spot without too many hanging threads just in case its a while till the next update. I am doing an short term exchange with my Uni so I will not have much free time (plus gotta get my Arashi fill hahaha) But once I'm back I'm on break so maybe I can actually finish this monster hehehe.


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